parenting-and-children’s-development.doc

ParentingandChildrensDevelopmentThefamilyisaplaceinwhichchildrenlearntointerpretreality.Parentsserveassignificantinterpretersforchildrenofinformationabouttheworldandchildren#39;sabilities.Theyarechildrensfirstteachers.Parentswanttheirchildrentogrowintosociallymatureindividuals,andtheymayfeelfrustratedintryingtodiscoverthebestwaytoaccomplishthisdevelopment.Parentingstylesarebroadpatternsofchildrearingpractices,values,andbehaviors.AccordingtoDianaBaumrind,fourtypesofparentingstylesareindulgent(moreresponsivethandemanding),authoritarian(highlydemandinganddirectivebutnotresponsive),authoritative(bothdemandingandresponsive),andindulgent(lowinresponsivenessanddemandingness)Childrenfromauthoritarianfamilyareoftenaggressive,fearful,andanxious,theyoftenhaveweakcommunicationskills.Childrenassociatedwithauthoritativeparenting,arehappy,cheerful,self-controlledandcopewithstress.Childrenfromindulgentfamilyareaggressive,spoiled,andnoncompliant,theyhavedifficultiesinpeerrelations.Childrenassociatedwithneglectfulparentingarelackofself-control,socialincompetenceanddelinquency.Childrensemotionsareoftenaffectedbyparenting.Parentsarekidsfirstimportantteachers.AccordingtoJohnGottman,“Parentsarekidsemotioncoachers,andtheyteachtheirkidsstrategiestodealwithlifesupsanddowns.EvenmorethanIQ,emotionalawarenessandabilitytohandlefeelingswilldetermineonessuccessandhappinessinallwalksoflife,includingfamilyrelationships”(P20-21).Soitsveryimportanttousegoodparentingathome.Authoritativeparentingsisthebestparentingstyle,becauseitisgoodforchildrensemotiondevelopment,andbecauseauthoritativeparentsacknowledgetheirchildrensfeelingsandacceptthemunconditionally,theycansetacceptablestandards,andtheyhelptopromotechildrensindependence.Authoritativeparentscanunderstandtheirchildrensfeelingandteachthemhowtoregulatethem.Theyoftenhelpthemtofindappropriateoutletstosolveproblems.JohnGottmansaid,“Theydontignoreordenytheirkidsfeelings.Nordotheybelittleorridiculetheirchildrenforemotionalexpression”(P38).Theyhaveknowledgeoftheirchildrensfeeling.Forexample,mysonfeltverysadandworriedwhenheheardhisbestfriendwouldmovetoanothercity.Hetalkedtomeaboutthat:“Mybestfriendwillmovenextmonth.WhomcanIplaywith?”Iunderstoodhisfeeling,andsaid,“Imsorrytohearthat.Dontworry.Hisnewhomeisnotfarfromhere.Wecanvisithimandhecancomebacktovisitus.Also,youcanmakeanothergoodfriend.Youwillfacelotsofseparationinyourlife.Youshouldbestrong.”Ialsotoldhimaboutmysadness.Aftertalking,hefeltbetterandbegantoknowhowtohandlethiskindofsituation.Authoritativeparentshaveastrongawarenessoftheirownemotionsandthoseoftheirlovedone.JohnGottmanbelieves,“Theycanseevalueintheirchildrensnegativeemotions;theyhavemorepatiencewhentheirchildrenareangry,sad,orfearful.”(P40).Authoritativeparentsareconcernedabouttheirkids.Theyseemtobewillingtospendtimewithacryingorfretfulchild,listeningtotheirworries,empathizingwiththem,lettingthemwenttheiranger,orjustcryitout.Theyareresponsibleparents.Authoritativeparentsprovideawarmandfriendlyfamilyclimate.Thereisgoodcommunicationbetweenparentsandchildreninauthoritativefamily.Goodcommunicationhelpschildrenandparentstodevelopconfidence,feelingsofself-worth,andgoodrelationshipswithothers.Oneofourmostimportantresponsibilitiesasparentsistolistentoourchildren,hearingnotonlytheirwords,butalsothefeelingsbehindtheirwords.Whenparentstalktothechildren,theymustshowgreatrespectfortheirchildrensfeelings.Theymustfeelwhattheirchildrenarefeeling.Ginottbelieved:“Statementsofunderstandingshouldprecedestatementsofadvice”(P44).Hediscouragedparentsfromtellingchildrenwhattheyoughttofeel,becausethatsimplymakeschildrendistrusttheirfeelings.Hesaidkidsemotionsdonotdisappearwhenparentssay,“Dontfeelthatway,”Hebelievedthatwhilenotallbehaviorisacceptable,allfeelingsandwishesareacceptable.Therefore,parentsshouldsetlimitsonacts,butnotemotionsanddesires,becausecommunicationaboutemotionscanserveasawayforparentstoteachtheirchildrenvalues.Authoritativeparentsalsoexpectmature,promoteindependenceandappropriatebehaviorofchildren.Theyteachchildrentocalmdownandfocusattention.Whentheycalmdown,theycanconcentrateinfindingwaystosolvetheproblems.Psychologistssaypeopleareveryeasytolosecontrolwhentheygetmad,soitisveryeasytodowrongthing.Forexample,mysonistenyearsold.Heisveryeasytogetmadorexcited.Whenhegetsmad,Idontblamehim.IknowIhavetocalmdownsothatIcanteachhimtodoso.Ialwaystellhimslowlyandtenderly:“Canyoutellmewhatsgoingon?MaybeIcanhelpyou.Dontworry.Mumisherewithyou.Letmehelpyoutofindagoodway.”SometimesIteachhimtodosomeexercisetorelax.Iteachhimtododeepbreathwhenheismad.Afterdeepandslowinhalationandbreathingforfivetosixtimes,hefeelspeacefulandrelaxes.Itreallyworks.Learningtocalmdownandfocusattentionbecomeincreasinglyimportantasthechildrenmature.Learningtobecalmalsohelpsthechildtoconcentrateinlearningsituationsandtofocusontheachievementofspecifictasks.And,asachildgrows,itsextremelyhelpfulforlearninghowtosharetoys.Thisskillcanmakeabigdifferenceinachildsabilitytoenternewplaygroups,makenewfriends,andhandlerejectionwhenpeersturnaway.Althoughsomepeoplethinkauthoritarianparentingisassociatedwithschoolsuccess,childrenfromthiskindfamilyareoftenaggressive,fearful,andanxiousandhaveweakcommunicationskills,becauseparentshavetoomanyrestrictive,punitivedisciplinesfortheirchildrentofollow.Theyarealsorejectingtochildren.Myparentsusedauthoritarianparentinginmyfamily.Therearethreechildreninmyfamily.Mymotherusedthesamestyletousall.Idontthinkitisbestforparentsorcaretakerstousethesamestyle,becausedifferentfamilieshavedifferentchildren,eveninthesamefamily,childrenaredifferentfromeachother.Itsbetterforthemtouseeclecticparentingstyle.Wedidntlikeauthoritarianparenting,becausewehadnoanyopportunitytotellourfeelingorargue.Whatwecoulddois“shutup”and“followmywords.”AccordingtoJohnGottman,“Familylifeisourfirstschoolforemotionallearning”(P20).Itstrue.Allofushavedevelopedintodifficultemotionalpersons.Bothofmybrothersareoverfortynow.Theyarereallyaggressive.Theyhaveproblemsincommunicationskillsandfailtoinitiateactivity.Theyalsostillusethesameparentingtoeducatetheirchildrennow.Especiallymysecondelderbrother,hisfamilyhaslotsofproblemsjustbecauseofhistemper.Heoftenjellstohischildrenandfightwithhiswife.Iamtimid,fearfulandhaveweakcommunicationskill,too.Iamafraidtoexpressmyopinioninpublic.Thoughweareadultsnow,wearealllackofconfidence.Wearestillundertheshadowofthiskindofparentingandhaveinfluencetoourkids.AccordingtoGoleman,familieswithauthoritarianparents“seemunabletofunctionwelleitherbecausetheycannotsetguidelines,orbecausetheydonotpursueintereststhatinvolveplacesandpersonsoutsidethefamily(P39).Thismakesitmoredifficultforchildrentodevelopself-knowledgeanddifferentiatetheirowncareergoalsfromtheirparents#39;goals.Goodparentingcanhelpparentstomakegoodemotionalkidsandhaveahappyfamily.Theauthoritativestylebalancesclear,highexpectationswithemotionalsupportandrecognitionofchildren#39;sautonomy.Childrenassociatedwiththiskindoffamilyarehappy,cheerful,self-controlledandcopewithstress.Theyhavefewerbehaviorproblems,andarebetterabletobouncebackfromdistressingexperiences.Childrencandobetterintermsofacademicachievement,health,andpeerrelationships.Gottmanbelieves“thechildrenwholearntoacknowledgeandmastertheiremotionsaremoreself-confidentaswellasphysicallyhealthier.Theyalsodobetterinschoolandaremorelikelytogrowintoemotionallyhealthyadults”(50).Pleaseuseauthoritativeparentingathome.Itisverygoodforyourchildrensmotionaldevelopment.Bibliography:Santrock,JohnLifeSpanPsychologyGinott,HaimBetweenParentandChildGoleman,DianielEmotionalIntelligenceGottman,HohnandDanielGolemanTheHeartofParentingIntelligentChild目录第一章 可行性研究报告概述11.1项目名称11.2项目承担单位11.3项目建设地点11.4可研报告编制单位11.5项目概述及主要经济技术指标1第二章 编制目的、依据、原则和范围52.1编制目的52.2编制依据52.3编制原则52.4可行性研究的范围6第三章 建设的必要性73.1符合国家“十一五”规划纲要和循环经济要求73.2环境保护和节能降耗的需要83.3企业可持续发展的需要9第四章 项目建设条件104.1主体工程概况104.2厂址选择124.3公用设施及社会依托条件12第五章 改造规模与产品方案155.1改造规模155.2生产方案15第六章 生产设备节电技改方案166.1企业能耗现状分析166.2改造设备运行参数166.3技术方案、设备方案176.4项目建议改造方案226.5消耗定额256.6小结25第七章 项目实施机构和项目法人287.1项目实施机构287.2项目法人28第八章 环境保护28第八章 环境保护29第九章 社会经济效益319.1环境效益319.2社会效益31第十章 节约和合理利用能源3310.1节能依据及标准3310.2节能设计原则3310.3能耗分析3310.4节能措施及节能效果分析34第十一章 环境安全与劳动保护3511.1安全3511.2劳动保护36第十二章 生产管理与人员编制3812.1生产管理3812.2人员编制38第十三章 项目实施进度3913.1 建设工期3913.2 项目实施时期各阶段进度建议39第十四章 项目招标方案41第十五章 投资估算及资金筹措4215.1投资估算4215.2资金筹措43第十六章 经济评价4416.1项目周期4416.2成本参数4416.3损益类参数4416.4经济评价结果45第十七章 结论4717.1结论意见及总的评价、存在的问题和建议47