专题07-2022年天津卷英语真题作文深度点评与满分作文赏析.docx

专题07-2022年天津卷英语真题作文深度点评与满分作文赏析

【试题再现2022年天津卷7月】
你是高中口语社成员李津，李华为了招募新成员，让你录制一个视频，撰写视频的文字稿，要点如下:

1.邀请大家加入社团；

2.介绍一下社团活动(如英语演讲比赛，观看英语电影等)；

3.谈谈你加入社团以后的收获 可适当添加细节。

参考词汇:

Spoken English Club; English Speech Contest
注意：
(1) 词数不少于100；
(2) 可适当加入细节，使内容充实、行文连贯；
(3) 开头和结尾已给出，不计入总词数。
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【试题解读】
主题语境：人与社会---人际沟通（良好的人际关系）

话题选择：为招募新成员撰写视频邀请解说词

语篇类型：解说词

解说词是口头解释、说明事物的文体。往往事先拟好文稿，通过对事物的准确描述、渲染，感染观众或听众，使其了解事物的实情、状态和意义，力争收到宣传效果。解说词这种文体有如下特征：

（1）通过口头语言宣传教育群众，读起来上口，听起来顺耳。

（2）对实物和形象的解说，以实物和形象为表达的依据，结构不苛求严谨，段落之间不苛求紧扣，但叙述形象要完整、逼真。

写作构思：

1. 写前四审

（1）审题材：成员招募；

（2）审时态：一般现在时为主，进行时等为辅助；

（3）审人称：第一、第二人称为主；

（4）审要点：构思文章是否符合题目要求，主旨突出，内容要点齐全，写作对象明确，语言的选用得当，符合要求等。

2. 分列提纲

作文要求写一个招募新成员的视频解说词，因此在介绍的时候，既有对过去旧的招募通告的一种传承，也要考虑到结合视频，和这个受众互动。

其次它的写作目的是介绍大家入团，那么必然要介绍一下社团的活动有哪些，最重要还是以自己加入社团的收获现身说法，并且添加适当的细节来使得这个视频更加的有说服力。

因此在写作过程当中，应该是第二点是写作的核心，第三点属于例子证明，写作的目的就是第一条，分清主次，分清层次对于考生就是一个审题重难点了。因此我们不要轻易改变所给要点顺序，按照三个要点的要求写出来就好。作文中所给的关键词要用上。

3. 写后三审

（1）检查时态、语态、单词拼写、标点符号是否有错误；

（2）句子的时态、主谓、代词要做到一致；

（3）句子谓语要完整；

（4）习惯用法、固定搭配要正确；

（5）冠词、形容词、副词及连词要得当等；

（6）根据内容要点改写句子、合并句子、用非谓语动词改写句子、用高级替代词、用高级句式润色文章、运用适当的过渡词加强逻辑等。

【满分范文欣赏1】
Hi! My name is Li Hua, a member from Spoken English Club. Now I would like to represent our Club to recruit new members. If you also feel zest to improve your oral English, through this short video clip, you will feel amazed to join us.As you can see,various activities are being held in our Club, such as English Speech Contest, and Poetry Repetition, etc. What’s more, members will gather together on our English corner to talk freely under the instruction of our foreign teachers, Ann and John. Now they are leading us to train our oral English for film dubbing, which is my favorite part. For me, I have gained a lot from this fantastic Club, not only because it builds up courage and confidence in me by practising but also because communicating with others easily in English helps me make more friends and enrich my life with a new experience.Anyone, as long as your are interested in oral English, can join us, to explore a new world, and become a new star in our Club, to demonstrate your charm and make more progress with us! Below the screen is the telephone number, We are expecting your joining.

【满分范文欣赏2】

I am Li Jin, a member of the Spoken English club in our school.
In order to enhance the students’ ability to speak English fluently, our club has held varieties of activities, such as English Speaking Contest and watching English movies. By taking an active part in different events, not only have our club members made academic progress in using English, but also they have become more confident when communicating with others.
Personally I have benefited greatly from the club activities. Besides the improvements in my oral English, I have made friends with many club members, who come from different classes and grades
In a word, I sincerely invite you to join our Spoken English Club, where you will have a fantastic experience.

【满分范文欣赏3】
Dear my fellows,
As one of its members, I would like to make this video asking you to join the High-School Spoken English Club in finding it pleasant for you to improve in English. This helps you with English that all of you would feel good at speaking, listening to, or writing.
Combining with these, you will be invited not only to attend a serious of lecture once a month about English, of which you would have acquired a good knowledge, but to have English party a week to get much enjoyment in making you understood in English, much efficiently, not mentioned English films watching frequently.
So achievable would your English remain that you will renew benefits in English, being able to communicate with your fellows, each other, in English.
Always by learning each other’ strong points in putting English into practice, will you be enabled to be ready for the English Speech Contest. This will keep you wise in asking each other for questions to which your fellows could set you broad-minded quickly in reply.
So much valuable for improving English-in-use quality becomes the one-term lectures I attended on news-writing and historical-culture lessons in English, together with on photography taking, that my fruitfulness could be favorable to bringing me as one of English learners to increase in its knowledge. As seen from this, the Club is to get me successful in progress made previously, in my view.
You would have developed proficiency in English, that is becoming favourable for negotiating successfully with foreigners some days to come on some fields, in my belief.
To your improvement intentionally in learning English, your kindly valuable comments together with suggestions would be welcome to be one of the best members in this Club, to my delight.