英语学习：幽默故事中英文对照.doc

英语幽默小故事集锦约会When the young waitress in the caf in Toms building started waving hello everyday. Tom was flattered, for she was at least 15 years younger than he. One day she waved and beckoned to Tom again. When Tom strolled over, she asked, Are you single? Why, yes, Tom replied, smiling at her broadly. So is my mom, she said. Would you like to meet her?约会在汤姆工作的大楼里有一个咖啡屋，那儿总有一位小姐每天都和他打招呼。汤姆有些受宠若惊，因为这位小姐看上去至少比他年轻15岁。一天她又对汤姆招手并示意汤姆过去。于是汤姆走了过去。她问道，“您现在是单身吗？” “对，是单身，”汤姆满脸堆笑的说。 “我母亲也是，”她说，“您愿不愿意见见她？”Taken for GrantedTHE SCHOOL HEALTH FORMS had been distributed to the students with an error-the word Sex had been spelled with an o. One mother, filling out the form for her son, wrote in the blank next to Sox: Usually brown.理所当然某学校发给学生的健康调查表里有个错别字把“性别”的“性”字写成了“袜”字。一位母亲在为她的儿子填写表格时，在“袜别”的那栏填上了：“棕色为主。”注 英语 中sex（性）与sox（袜）只有一个字母之差。世界上最爱你的女人Which woman?One evening I drove my husbands car to the shopping mall.On my return, I noticed that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit.When I finally entered the house, I called out.The woman who loves you the most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield.My husband looked up and said, Moms here?哪一位女人？一天晚上我开着丈夫的车去购物，回来后发现车身沾满灰尘，于是擦洗了一阵。当我终于走进屋里时大声喊：“世界上最爱你的女人刚擦洗了你的车灯和挡风玻璃。”我丈夫抬头看了看，说：“妈妈来了？”一只小猫Mrs Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a small box with holes punched in the top. Whats in your box? asked the friend.A cat, answered Mrs Brown. You see Ive been dreaming about mice at night and Im so scared! This cat is to catch them.But the mice are only imaginary, said the friend.So is the cat, whispered Mrs Brown.布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友，她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子。 “盒子里装的是什么？”朋友问道。 “一只小猫，” 布朗夫人回答说，“你知道我晚上睡觉总梦见老鼠，我非常害怕。这只猫可以抓住那些老鼠。” “可老鼠都是假想的呀。”朋友说。 “小猫也是假想的。” 布朗夫人小声说道。My Wife Will Exchange Them TomorrowMy Wife Will Exchange Them Tomorrow.A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.Cloth of leather? asked the salesperson.Makes no difference, replied customer.What color? asked the clerk.Any, he responded.Size?Give me whatever you prefer, the gentleman said, slightlyexasperated. My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them.反正我太太明天会来换的。一位先生走进一家商店要买付手套。“您是要布的还是皮的？”售货员问。“没什么区别。”这位顾客回答。“那您要什么颜色的呢？”售货员又问。“什么颜色都成。”他回答。“号码呢？”“您就随便给我拿一付吧，”这位顾客有点不耐烦了，“反正我太太明天都会来换的。”