生活大爆炸第三季第三集剧本.doc

谢尔顿 你错了
Sheldon,you're wrong.
金刚狼出生时没有骨爪
Wolverine was not born with bone claws.
霍华德
Howard,
你知道我是个聪明绝顶的人
you know me to be a very smart man.
我要是错了 我能不知道吗
Don't you think if I were wrong,I'd know it?
-首先... -算了吧
- Okay,first of all... - Give it up,dude.
别跟疯子争辩了
You're arguing with a crazy person.
我不是疯子
I'm not crazy.
我妈妈带我去检测过
My mother had me tested.
-伙计们 -你来这干嘛
- Hey,guys. - What are you doing here?
你说呢 今晚是新漫画书之夜啊
What do you mean? It's new comic book night.
鉴于你和佩妮终于勾搭上了
Yeah,but since you and Penny finally hooked up,we thought
我们以为你们会来个光溜溜之夜呢
you two would be having bouncy naked yum-yum night.
生活并非只有性爱 拉杰
There's more to life than sex,Raj.
谁认同"莱佩情24小时内熄火"
Okay,who had "Leonard flames out with Penny in less than 24 hours"?
我
I did.
什么都没熄火
Nothing flamed out.
我们没必要夜夜春宵
We don't have to have sex every night,you know.
是没必要 但强烈推荐啊
You don't have to,but it's highly recommended.
在机遇之窗猛然关闭之前
Yeah,take advantage of that window of opportunity
好好利用这段绝佳时期
before it slams shut on your little dinky.
这不是机遇的问题
It's not a matter of opptunity.
我们要了解对方
We're getting to know each other.
有学习的曲折过程
There's a learning curve.
有什么可学的
What's there to learn?
脱光光 互相猥亵对方
You get naked,do nasty things to each other,
然后某人做做炒蛋和香肠
then somebody makes scrambled eggs and salami.
小菜一碟
Easy peasy.
或许莱纳德
Perhaps what Leonard
间接所指的
is oblique referring to
是性功能障碍吧
is the occurrence of some sort of sexual dysfunction.
谁认同"小莱软趴了"[阳痿]
Okay,who had "Leonard gets a floppy disk"?
真聪明 虽然这种委婉表达
Oh,a clever,albeit obsolete,euphemism
男性性器官充血不足的说法过时了
for insufficient blood flow the male sex organ.
不是那么回事
Nothing like that happened,all right?
那次做爱...挺好
The sex was... just fine.
挺好
Just fine?
《哈利·波特》第4部电影也"挺好"
Oh,dude,the fourth Harry Potter movie was "just fine."
我没说它很差
I'm not saying it was bad.
我只是说...不是非常好
I'm just saying it... wasn't great.
你说的"不是非常好"
Okay,when you say "it wasn'great,"
是指你们都这么认为吗
do you mean for both of you?
我们完全可以认为她觉得不好
Because we can totally see it not being great for her.
-对吧 -没错
- Am I right? - Oh,yeah.
说实话 我想我们都有点...
To tell you the truth,I think we were both a little...
我不知道
I don't know.
沮丧 失望
Disappointed? Let down?
羞愧 恐惧 厌恶
Ashamed? Horrified? Repulsed?
我只觉得跟梦想中的不一样
All I know is,it wasn't the way I dreamed it would be.
真正做爱跟我梦想中的从来都不一样
Sex is never the way I dream it's gonna be.
那是因为在梦中
That's because in your dreams,
你是半人马
you're a horse from the waist down.
打扰了 《金刚狼前传》
Excuse me,Wolverine: Origin.
迷你剧2 第22页
Miniseries issue two,page 22.
伸缩自如的骨爪
Retractable bone claws.
你们要是能少花点时间在性上
If you people spent less time thinking about sex
多花点时间在漫画书上
and more time concentrating on comic books,
我们就能减少相当多的尴尬时刻了
we'd have far fewer of these embarrassing moments.
谢尔顿 吃饭啦
Sheldon,dinner's here.
唐杜里膳宫?
Tandoori Palace?
不 我们去了家新餐馆
No,we went somewhere new.
你们是在嘲笑我是吗
You're good naturedly ribbing me,aren't you?
没有 看 孟买膳宫
No,look,Mumbai Palace.
为什么
Why?
为什么要改变
Why would we change?
已经有个完美的膳宫了
We had a perfectly good palace.
唐杜里膳宫就是我们的御膳房
Tandoori Palace is our palace.
相信我 这个也挺好
Trust me,this will be just fine.
你可是"挺好"的
You are the authority
权威代表
on "just fine."
那是什么意思
What's that supposed to mean?
就是"不差 也不好"
It's actually "Not bad,but not great".
他们在说什么
What are they talking about?
-我不知道 -我知道
- I don't know. - I know.
我相信你已发现
As I'm sure you're aware...
哒哒哒哒哒哒
Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh.
如果你用的是莫尔斯电码
If that's Morse code,
未免太没水平了
That's terrible.
言归正传 你和莱纳德
As I was saying,you and Leonard had
的性爱比较失望
a disappointing sexual encounter.
今天傍晚
Earlier this evening,
莱纳德将其描述为"挺好"
Leonard characterized as "just fine."
所以你看到的只是
So what you're seeing here is a continuation
嘲笑的后续篇
of the mocking that followed.
行啊
Okay,yeah,well,
我去其他地方吃饭吧
I'm just gonna go eat my dinner elsewhere.
说不定去一架要撞山的飞机上
Maybe an airplane headed for a mountainside.
佩妮 等等
Penny,wait.
你有毛病啊
What is wrong with you?
我感觉自己貌似说过分了
I sense I may have crossed some sort of line.
-对 你... -别告诉他
- Yeah,you... - No,don't tell him.
看他能不能弄懂
Let's see if he can figure it out.
简直羞死人了
Ugh,I am so embarrassed!
别生气嘛
Please don't be mad.
你跟他们说了什么
What did you tell them?
没什么 就说昨晚的事挺好
Nothing bad,just that last night was fine.
挺好? 你说挺好?
Fine? You said it was fine?
这个词很好啊
Yeah,it's a perfectly good word.
放在"酒"和"餐"前面
You put it in front of "wine" or "dining,"
效果不是很好嘛
and you've really got something.
我想问问你
Okay,well,let me ask you this:
你觉得昨晚怎么样
How was last night for you?
我觉得...还行
It was... okay.
还行?
Okay?
这个词很好啊
Yeah,it's a perfectly good word.
放在"不错"前面
I mean,you put it in front of "dokay"
效果也很好啊
And you really got something.
算了 别小题大做了
All right,look,let's not overreact,you know.
很多情侣都需要时间
For a lot of couples,it takes time
才能了解彼此的节奏
to get to know each other's rhythms.
明白对方的喜好
Learn what the other person was and likes.
这么说你以前有过经验?
So,you've been through this before?
没有
No.
行啊
Okay-dokay.
我觉得这件事
You know,I think this is one of those things where
越讨论只会越糟糕
talking about it is not going to make it better.
喝一杯吗
Want a glass of wine?
-正合我意 -好
So much. Okay
我们昨晚就该这样嘛
See,we should've done this last night.
喝点小酒 刺激刺激
You know,have a little wine,take the edge off.
事实上 酒精会抑制神经细胞的电传导
Actually,ethyl alcohol inhibits electrical conduction
并会刺激感受器重新摄取抑制性神经递质
in the nerve cells and stimulates reuptake receptors
比如伽马氨基丁酸
of inhibitory neurotranmitters like gamma-aminobutyric acid.
闭嘴 喝酒就是
Don't talk,just drink.
不 你搞错了
No,you're misunderstanding.
谢夏不是真的女神(犹太人用以称呼非犹太的女人)
A shiksa goddess isn't an actual goddess.
我们不用向她们祈祷
And we don't pray to them.
我们在她们身上祈祷
We prey on them.
管他呢 兄弟
Whatever,dude.
关键在于 莱纳德有他的女人而你没有
The point is,Leonard's got one and you don't.
我想到了
Is this it
当着莱纳德和佩妮的面
It was inappropriate to discuss Leonard and Penny's sex life
谈论他们的性生活是不合适的
in front of Leonard and Penny.
太棒了
Oh,good!
终于可以吃饭了
Now I can eat.
啥东西
What's that?
-好像是个蟋蟀 -等下
Sounds like a cricket. Hang on.
根据每分钟的鸣叫次数
Based on the number of chirps per minute
并结合房间的环境温度
and the ambient temperature in this room,
这是一只雪树蟋蟀
it is a snowy tree cricket.
靠 饶了我吧
Oh,give me a freakin' break.
你怎么可能知道
How could you possibly know that?
1980年 埃米尔·道贝尔
In 1890,Emile Dolbear
得出结论
determined that there was
雪树蟋蟀每分钟的鸣叫次数
a fixed relationship between the number
与环境温度之间
of chirps per minute of the snowy tree cricket
存在着固定的关系
and the ambient temperature.
而在普通平原蟋蟀之中
A precise relationship that is not present
则不存在这种确切的关系
with ordinary field crickets.
你怎么会知道这房间的确切温度的
How do you know what the exact temperature of the room is?
据我与莱纳德室友之间的协定
Under the terms of my roommate agreement with Leonard,
自从06年那次"浸汗之夜"以来
I've had unilateral control of thermostat
就由我来专门负责室内的恒温控制
ever since the sweaty night of '06.
好吧 关于金刚狼的骨爪问题算你说对了
Ok,you were right about wolverine and bone claws,
但是这次你却错了
but you're wrong about the cricket.
霍华德 少给自己丢脸了
Howard,don't embarrass yourself.
科学就像虫鸣一样从不说谎
The science chirps for itself.
幽默的文字游戏而已
Humorous word play.
不 你绝对错了
No,no,not this time.
我可是昆虫的专家 伙计
I know insects,my friend.
我的整个童年时代
I spent many
基本都在用网捕虫
childhood years capturing them with nets,
把它们放在玻璃瓶里 用针钉成标本
putting them in glass jars,sticking pins through them,
用瓦楞纸板做成标签
mounting them on corrugated cardboard with Dymo labels
为它们分门别类属和种
underneath,identifying the genus and species.
用的可是拉丁文哦
In Latin.
天啊 老兄 你这辈子都别想得到女神垂青了
Oh,dude,you are never getting a shiksa goddess.
绝对是雪树蟋蟀
That is a snowy tree cricket.
雪树蟋蟀[拉丁语]
Oecanthus fultoni.
我早在五年级就通拉丁语了
I was done with Latin by fifth grade.
好吧 这么着吧
Okay,okay,tell you what.
这绝对是一只普通平原蟋蟀
I am willing to bet anything
要我赌啥都成
that's an ordinary field cricket.
我不能拿你的钱
I can't take your money.
这算啥 你临阵退缩吗[原词是英语里的鸡]
What's the matter,you chicken?
我总觉得这个用法很荒谬
I've always found that an inappropriate slur.
鸡这种动物天生就
Chickens are not by nature,
一点儿也不胆小
at all timid.
事实上 在我小时候
In fact,when I was young,
我邻居家系鸡的绳子松了
my neighbor's chiken got loose
它一直追着我跑到我家门口的大榆树
and chased me up the big elm tree in front of our house.
鸡不会爬树
Chickens can't climb trees.
谢天谢地
Thank God.
好吧
Okay,
我相信你和鸡有宿怨
I believe a chicken made you his bitch.
但是这件事我可不服
But the cricket thing,I don't buy.
打赌吧
Bet me.
好吧
Fair enough.
赌什么
What stakes do you propose?
就赌我的第四十八期神奇四侠-银影侠现身
I would put my Fantastic Four of No. 48 first appearance of Silver Surfer,
和你的第123期闪电侠
against your Flash 123,
两个世界的闪电侠经典系列
the classic Flash of two worlds issue.
好吧 就这么定了
All right,you have a wager.
真是太好了
Hmm. Great.
你们怎么确定输赢呢
Now how are you going to settle it,hmm?
只有通过实际观察
There is no way to determine the species
才能确定蟋蟀的种类吧
of the criet without examining it.
我在想今天那个不可怜的人在干嘛
I wonder what the non-pathetic people are doing tonight.
-再来点 -好吧
-More wine? -Hit me.
啥都没有
I don't see anything.
嘘
Shh!
从走廊传来的
Hallway.
一个一个走
One at a time.
这次又是什么
What was that?
我的肚子在抗议
My stomach.
吃不惯印度菜
Indian food doesn't agree with me.
这算是讽刺吗
Ironic,isn't it?
嘘
Shh!
是电梯井
Elevator shaft.
快帮忙打开
Help me open it.
你疯了吗
Are you crazy?
我们不能下到空的电梯井里去
We can't go down empty elevator shaft.
好啊 如果你退缩
Fine,if you don't want to proceed,
就要没收你的赌注
then you forfeit the bet,
而你的神奇四侠就归我了
and I'll take possession of your Fantastic Four.
那就打开她吧
Let's open her up.
这么轻易被我操控 你不烦恼吗
Are you bothered that I can so easily manipulate you?
别逼我 谢尔顿
Don't push me,Sheldon.
我是很矮 但我13岁时可学过功夫
I may be small,but I took kung fu when I was 13,
现在还没生疏呢
and I remember a good deal of it.
是吗
Oh,really?
我有一个哥哥
Well,I grew up with an older brother
还有一对非常好争论的双胞胎姐姐
and a very contentious twin sister.
所以我确信在任何物理对抗中我都占上风
And I believe I could easily best you
并足以揍得你找不到北
in any physical confrontation-- be it noogies,swirlies
记得那句经典名言吗 "你怎么自己打自己啊"
or the classic "Why are you hitting yourself?"
被鸡追得逃到树上的人还真敢吹啊
Ooh,big talk from a man who was once treed by a chicken.
我们现在喝的什么呀
What are we drinking now?
薄荷杜松子酒
Peppermint schnapps.
你买薄荷杜松子酒干嘛呀
Why would you buy peppermint schnapps?
因为我喜欢薄荷
Because I like peppermint,
而且杜松子酒念起来很爽
and it's fun to say schnapps.
-喂 莱纳德 -什么
- Hey,Leonard? - What?
杜松子酒
Schnapps.
杜松子酒
Schnapps.
你对极了 真好玩
You're right,that is fun.
小心啊
Be careful.
假若我不小心
If I were not being careful,
我不会因为你告诉我小心就小心
your telling me to be careful would not make me careful.
楼梯里
Stairwell.
哦哦 手电灭了
Uh-oh,flashlight went out.
我需要电池
I need some batteries.
伙计们?
Fellas?
喂?
Hello?
这儿好黑呀
It's really dark down here.
唉 宝贝
Oh,sweetie.
你真是不会喝酒啊
You really can't hold your liquor,can you?
我没事
I'm okay.
来点儿漱口水
Just a little mouthwash,
然后你就等着乐个够吧
and then I'm gonna rock your world.
你没事吧
Are you okay?
哎呀 托比 你上辈子造了什么孽
Ugh,Toby,what did you do in a past life
现在活得这么恶心
to be so disgusting now?
他不叫托比
His name isn't Toby.
蟋蟀怎么能叫托比呢
Toby is an absurd name for a cricket.
那你会叫他什么
What would you name him?
适合蟋蟀的名字
An appropriate cricket name.
比如说 吉姆尼
For example,Jiminy.
好好
All right,
谢尔顿 来吧
Sheldon,here we go.
北美昆虫野外指南
Kleingast's Field Guide to North American Insects.
嘿 托比
Hey Toby.
就在这儿
Right here.
看见了?
See it?
普通田野蟋蟀
The common field cricket,
学名Gryllus assimilis
AK Gryllus assimilis,
拉丁文就是"气死你 你输了"的意思
which is Latin for "suck it,you lose."
等等
Hang on.
看看
Voilà.
雪白树蟋
The snowy tree cricket.
学名Oecanthus fultoni
AKA Oecanthus fultoni,
拉丁文就是"我气不死"
which is Latin for I'll suck nothing.
当然是玩笑
Of course I'm joking
因为那个的拉丁文是nihil exsorbibo
because the Latin for that is nihil exsorbibo.
这根本不是托比
That is not Toby,
就是托比
this is Toby.
拉杰 你怎么看
Raj,what do you think?
我早已经不关心了
Oh,I really don't care anymore.
天啊 我昨晚上惨透了
God,I had the most horrible night.
显然是与谢萨女神的又一次失败肉体接触
Obviously another carnal fiasco with the shiksi goddess.
是谢夏 谢夏
Shiksa. Shik-sa.
对不起
Forgive me.
德州东部的人都不说犹太语
Yiddish was not spoken in East Texas.
即使说 也没说几年
And if it was,it wasn't spoken for long.
好好 随你怎么说
Yeah,fine,whatever.
事实是 你又错了
The point is,you're wrong again.
咱们还没说清上次我什么时候错呢 好了
We haven't established that I'm wrong once. All right.
这么办吧 咱们下楼
Tell you what. Let's go down
去昆虫系
to the Entomology Department
让克莱利教授告诉我们
and let Professor Crawley tell us
托比究竟是哪种蟋蟀
what kind of cricket Toby is.
他是雪树蟋蟀
He's a snowy tree cricket,
而且他叫吉姆尼
and his name is Jiminy.
我打赌要是在这屋里扔块石头
I bet I could throw a rock in this room
也能打中三个更好的朋友
and come up with three better friends.
我的天啊
Holy crap.
这块儿简直就像《沉默的羔羊》
It's like Silence of the Lambs down here.
不要那样
Don't do that.
你简直像个女生
You're such a girl.
不过是虫子
The're just bugs.
哼 我不喜欢虫子 怎么啦
Yeah,well,I don't like bugs,okay?
它们让我害怕
They freak me out.
有趣
Interesting
你既怕虫子又怕女人
You're afraid of insects and women.
瓢虫[英文: 女士+虫]还不得把你吓昏了
Ladybugs must render you catatonic.
这是笑话
It was a joke.
我编来让你放松的
I made it to lessen your discomfort.
不用客气
You're welcome.
别敲门
Don't knock.
尽管进来吧
Just walk in.
对一位世界领先地位的
Why be polite to the world's leading expert
屎克螂专家客气什么啊
on the dung beetle?
对不起
Excuse me,
你是克莱利教授吗
are you Professor Crawley?
谁想知道
Who wants to know?
我是物理系的库珀博士
I'm Dr. Cooper from the Physics Department.
等不及了 是不?
Couldn't wait,huh?
什么
I'm sorry?
我还没装完东西
I haven't even packed yet,
你就已经来量我的实验室了
and you're already measuring my lab
准备装你们那些无神论的激光机器
for one of your godless laser machines.
不是 你不明白
No,you don't understand.
我们只想问你个问题
We just want to ask you a question.
让我先问你
Let me ask you one first.
一位世界知名的昆虫学家
What's a world renowned entomologist
有博士学位
with a doctorate
有二十年的经验 当学校裁掉
and 20 years of experience to do with his life
他实验室的经费之后他该干什么
when the university cuts off the funding for his lab,huh?
向别人吐嘈
Ask rhetorical questions
让人家不舒服
that make people uncomfortable?
你又是怎么回事
What's your deal?
他们是不是打算把我的职位外包到班加罗尔
Are they planning to outsource my job to Bangalore?
我是新德里来的
I'm from New Delhi.
也许你该去问别的昆虫学家
Maybe you should find another entomologist.
不行不行 咱们来了就得弄清楚
No,no. We're here. Let's settle this.
教授 你能辨认出我们的蟋蟀吗
Professor,can you identify our cricket?
我当然能
Of course I can.
我能认出全世界所有的昆虫和节肢动物
I can identify every insect and arachnid on the planet.
但我也一样得去
Not that that's going
投奔我住在奥克斯纳德的女儿
to keep me from having to move in with my daughter in Oxnard.
而且这不是
And we're not talking
海滩旁边的奥克斯纳德
Oxnard at the beach. No!
我们说的是葱地中间的
We're talking Oxnard
奥克斯纳德
in the onion fields.
能帮忙鉴定下托比
Well,could you look at Toby?
托比
Toby?
蟋蟀叫这名字真蠢
What a stupid name for a cricket.
我就说嘛
Told ya.
就是只普通黑蟋蟀
It's a field cricket.
-太好了 -不 等等
- Yes! - No,no,wait.
克莱利教授 你确定吗
Dr. Crawley,are you sure?
年轻人 我从8岁起就开始学习昆虫知识
Young man,I've been studying insects since I was eight years old.
知道上学时他们都叫我什么
You know what they used to call me in school?
爬虫克莱利
Creepy Crawley.
这么叫你或许很残忍
Cruel as that may be,
但并不能证明什么
But