读写作文（夹叙夹议文）写作指导2015.doc

夹叙夹议文写作指导
摘要的开头语
a.点明写作目的类：
1.The passage/ story is mainly about (talks about) …
2.The writer/author tells us about …
3.The passage narrates that …
4.The writer tells us…（主题）by showing us an example of…, who/which…（故事情节）.
b.作者经历类：
In the passage, the writer mainly tells us his experience of doing sth, which……
c. 他人经历类：
This passage is mainly about sb’s experience of doing sth…..
记叙文的过渡语 (引出类似的经历)
1.This story reminds me of another story that happened to…
2.This story reminds me of a similar experience of…
3. There is a story about me realizing the importance of patience.
4.Take me for example.
5.As far as I am concerned, I have a similar experience .
第三段：
1.Through this experience, I have learned that we should help each other in our daily life.
2.As for me/ Personally, the whole society should pay close attention to the problem, only in this way can we build a harmonious society in the future.
结尾段：
1.To be brief，we should be aware of the importance of...总之，我们应当明白……的重要性。
2.Therefore，it is necessary for us to...因此，我们有必要
3. In a word/ All in all/ In conclusion/ To sum up…
夹叙夹议就是一方面叙述某一事情，一方面又对此事加以分析与评论。这种表达方式中的叙与议是一个有机的整体，“叙”是“议”的基础，即议论不能脱离记叙，必须在记叙的基础上展开；“议”是“叙”的渗透，即议论在记叙的基础上发表，且要有一定的深度与广度。 写夹叙夹议类书面表达时，思维要有灵活性，要随着记叙与议论的转换，及时调整思维方式。
夹叙夹议的写作 文章内容要素包括who, what, when, where, how。夹叙夹议文写作的具体过程是：点题(abstract), 指向(orientation), 进展 (action)，评议(evaluation), 结果(result)和回应(coda)。 ”读写任务”写作的第一部分即summary只占总分权重的20%,即5分。而第二部分即opinion部分则占80%，即20分。因此，若想在这一大题中取得好的成绩，opinion部分是关键。那么，如何才能发表出中肯的“观点”，在众多考卷中脱颖而出，获得阅卷老师的青睐呢？下面就以一篇实例具体分析其解题思路及整体上如何备考。
It is an in-depth relationship combining trust, support, communication, loyalty, understanding, sympathy and intimacy(亲密,亲近). These are certainly aspects of life that all of us desire. Being able to trust and relax with your friend is a big part of friendship. Remember when you were young you went with a friend to her grandma’s for the weekend. It was fun but when you got home, home was wonderful. Your feeling was “I’m home. I can relax now.” That’s what a friendship should be. You go out into the world and do your best. You have your ups and downs(盛衰), your problems and triumphs(成功), your fun and tribulations(苦难). You charm and perform. Then you come “home” to a friend. You can relax, put up your feet; you are relieved. If you still have to be charming and /or performing, it’s not a relief. Friendship is a comfortable situation like home. You get home, kick off your shoes, relax and sigh, “Ahh, home.”
But no one can form a friendship until he /she realizes that the basis of being friends is meeting the needs of the other person. One must be a friend to have a friend.
Never forget that relating is the basis of friendship.
【写作内容】：1）以约30个词概括短文的要点；
2）然后以约120个词就“On Friendship”这个主题目发表看法，并包括如下要点：
a)根据你的亲身经历，你觉得朋友给你的生活带来了什么？
b)你对友谊的理解是什么？ c) 你觉得如何才能建立起真正的友谊？
【写作要求】：你可以使用实例或其它论述方法支持你的论点，也可以参照阅读材料的内容，但不要抄袭阅读材料中的句子。
解题思路
1、认真审题，领悟题意
第一步：写作内容
a)根据你的亲身经历，你觉得朋友给你的生活带来了什么？ 对友谊的理解是什么？
c) 你觉得如何才能建立起真正的友谊？
文体：夹叙夹议 人称：第一人称 时态：一般现在时（主体时态） 一般过去时（“经历”）
第二步：写作要求
1）字数要求：以约120个词就”On Friendship”这个主题发表看法。
2）注意事项：你可以使用实例或其它论述方法支持你的论点，也可以参照阅读材料的内容，但不要抄袭阅读材料中的句子。
2、整理要点，布局谋篇
在明确写作要求和写作内容后，不要急于动笔写作。要从整体上把握文章的结构，划分文章的段落，理清文章的层次。如这篇文章我们可以把opinion部分直接按照a) b) c) 三个点分成三段。也可以把a) b) 放在一段，c)则单独成一段。这样阅卷老师一眼就能看到你是否把要点写全。此外，各段的笔墨分配要有机平衡，不能光a)这一要点就写了90词，剩下寥寥数语来论述b) c)两个要点。
3、组织材料，充分论证
1）调动经验，大胆想象
由第一步分析可知，本文的文体是夹叙夹议。其中a)要求我们要有自己的亲身经历。这时，我们就应充分调动已有的生活经验，或者大胆发挥想象，虚构经历。如：Once on a weekend I fell badly ill and had to go to the doctor. Unfortunately, I lived at school and my parents had no idea of my illness. I had thought about living in bed all day hungry. But one of my friends had me sent to hospital and looked after me all day without having a rest, which moved me a lot. It is friendship that gives me a hand when I’m in trouble.
2)复读材料，移花接木
写作要求中提到：可以参照阅读材料的内容，但不要抄袭阅读材料中的句子。那么，就让我们再回到材料中去，查看有无可以利用的论点、论据等，再用自己的话语进
行阐释，用以充实文章的内容，从而达到移花接木的效果。如b)要求我们谈对友谊的理解，而文中提到Your feeling was “I’m home, I can relax now.” That’s what a friendship should be.那么，我们可以这样来改写： To my mind, friendship is a harbor where people may rest secure from storms and waves. 再如c)要求我们谈如何建立友谊。这一点，其实文中就有很好的建议： no one can form a friendship until he /she realizes that the basis of being friends is meeting the needs of the other person. One must be a friend to have a friend. 在充分利用原文的基础上，再加入一两条自己的建议，我们可以写出这样的语句：First and foremost, to build up true friendship, do remember to trust your friends. Besides, it’s important for yourself to be a friend to have a friend, and always be honest with the other person. When he is in trouble, lend him a helping hand.
4、注意衔接，自然过渡
在完成写作之后，要特别留意各段落之间的衔接。因为a)b)c)三个点虽然被分成三段，但却是一个有机的整体。我们必须把他们巧妙地衔接起来。如b) c)两段这间可以如此过渡：Thus, it’s self-evident(毋待证明的,自明的) that friendship is not only a must but also a need to everybody. However, how can we gain a true friendship?
此外，我们还必须注意opinion部分和前面summary的衔接。由于实例中阅读材料是议论文体,那么summary部分必然是以议论为主。而a)中首先要求要用亲身经历来说明朋友对你生活的影响。实际上就是由议论summary转入例证(experience)。那么，我们用一个短语就可以轻松过渡：As to me/ To me, friends bring me a lot. 或者In terms of me, friends have always been the postman bringing happiness to me. According to my experience, I think that what friends bring me is not only trust, understanding but also happiness.
总之，只要读来顺畅、自然就达到目的了。
5、勘误润色，锦上添花
在打好草稿后，还需要认真复查，尽可能减少一切可能出现的失误。检查时可从以下几个方面入手：时态、语态是否正确，主谓是否一致，句子结构是否完整，词语搭配是否恰当，单词拼写是否有误，标点符号是否准确等。当然，如果想写出一篇优秀的作文，还少不了最后一着：修饰润色。按照试题的评分标准，学生除了概括的准确性、语言的规范性、内容的合适性外，还必须注意篇章的连贯性。因此，在完成整篇文章的写作后，还可以在句与句之间、段与段之间增加合适的连接词或过渡性的词、短语或句子、句式的表达式尽量多样化，语言尽量地道化，不要使用汉语式的英语。只有这样的作文才可能在从多考卷中脱颖而出，获得阅卷老师的青睐。以下就是加工过后的优秀作文：
Friendship plays a big part in our life, just like a home where you can get relaxed. But to keep and form it needs relating and being ready to help each other.
According to my experience, I think friends bring me not only trust, understanding but also warmth. Once on a weekend I fell badly ill. Unfortunately, I lived at school and my parents had no idea of my illness. I had thought about lying in bed all day. But one of my friends had me sent to hospital and looked after me without having a rest, which moved me a lot. It is friendship that gives me a hand when I’m in trouble.
As I enjoy making friends, I value friendship a lot. And I think friendship is a relationship which requires both honesty with each other and sharing.
Thus, to my mind, to build up real friendship, we should make friends with those who we can trust, then take serious concerns on our friendship and always get ready to help each other.

仿写：
2010
社会热点
用金钱鼓励孩子学习
夹叙夹议
3
In junior high school, one of my classmates, Ethan, was addicted to TV. This boy simply knew everything about such pop shows as Who’s the Boss? Then one day Ethan’s mother made him an offer in order to draw him back to his school subjects. She promised that she would give him $200 if he could go a full month without watching any TV None of us thought Ethan could do it, but he did quit TV His mom paid him $200. He went out and bought a TV the biggest he could find.
In recent years, hundreds of schools have carried out experiments with paying kids with cash for showing up or getting good grades. All school kids admire this trend. But it upsets adults. Teachers say that we are rewarding kids for doing what they should be doing of their own will. Psychologists warn that money can actually make kids perform worse by making the act of learning cheap. The debate has become a typical battle over why our kids are not learning at the rate they should be despite decades of reforms and budget increases.
【写作内容】 1.以约30词概括上文的主要内容。
2.以约120词对用金钱鼓励孩子学习的现象进行议论，内容包括：
(1)你对用金钱鼓励孩子学习的看法：
(2)你的父母（或其他亲人）是如何鼓励你学习的；
(3)你认为怎样才能更好地鼓励孩子学习
【写作要求】 1.作文中可以使用亲身经历或虚构的故事，也可以参照阅读材料的内容，但不得直接引用原文中的句子。
2.作文中不能出现真实姓名和学校名称。
【评分标准】 概括准确，语言规范，内容合适，语篇连贯。
The passage is mainly about parents give money to their children so that they can show up or get good grades recently by the way of taking the example of Ethan and his mother.[34]
The passage tells us Enthan’s mother and many schools rewarded kids with cash to improve their performance and change their bad habits. However, psychologists point out it will cause negative consequences.[31]
As far as I’m concerned, encouraging kids with cash will _________________________. Take one of my classmates as a typical example, he ____________________________________ ________________________________________________________ As a result, not only did he not become a good student but worse still, it aggravated his severe situation.
Being no exception, my parents also care about my studying. but they _______________
_______________________________________________________________ Finally, I became a top students in my class.
From what has been mentioned above, we can drew the conclusion that ______________
______________________________________ On one hand ____________________________
_________________________________________On the other hand _____________________
_________________________________________________________________ Only in these ways can parents make their kids grow up healthfully.
Practice：1. 阅读下面的短文，然后按照要求写一篇150词左右的英语短文。
School News: Yesterday, Dec.14, the grand ceremony—To Build Our School an Eco­school(国际生态学校), was held on the school playground. First, our geography teacher just gave us a very brief introduction about Eco­school, which is one of five environmental education programmes run internationally by the Foundation for Environmental Education (FEE)．It is the biggest environmental education programme for young children all over the world. It aims to help the school improve the environment, raise their awareness of environment. Being a member of the programme, we students can share experience on the Internet with foreign students, which could provide a bigger stage for us.
After that, the schoolmaster Mr. Liu made a speech titled “To save and treasure our resources, to love and be masters of the school！” He pointed out that we students should bear the responsibility to protect our environment and learn to save.
Finally, on behalf of all the students, Tan Peiying, Chairman of the Students’ Union, made a speech to call on us all to take action now to make our school a green one.
【写作内容】 1．以约30个词概括以上“校园新闻”的内容要点；
2．然后以约120个词就“节约资源，爱我校园 Save Resources and Love Our School”的主题发表你的看法，内容包括：
(1)你认为校园里存在哪些浪费的现象；
(2)谈谈这些浪费现象带来的危害；
(3)建设“国际生态学校”，你该做些什么？
【写作要求】 1．在作文中可以使用亲身经历或虚构的故事，也可以参照阅读材料的内容，但不得直接引用原文中的句子；
2．作文中不能出现真实姓名和学校名称。
【评分标准】概括准确，语言规范，内容合适，语篇连贯 。
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2. 阅读下面的短文，然后按照要求写一篇150词左右的英语短文。
Sharing is an important process of growing up that we continue to learn, even in our adult years! As humans, we are naturally protective of our things. However, over time we learn the pleasure of giving.
Here are simple ways to start teaching your preschooler about sharing：
Demonstrate sharing yourself. It sounds simple, but sometimes we forget that our children learn best from the model we provide. When you are sharing, be sure to explain to your child what you are doing and why; otherwise, he may be unaware of what is happening. For example, you might point out that it feels good to help out a neighbor by sharing a book or lending yard tools, and that your neighbor appreciates it, too.
Acknowledge sharing. When your child shares a toy with a friend, praise him for it, but be specific in your choice of words. Too often we use the word “nice” to describe an action of sharing. But “nice” is a hard word to define, and is even harder for your young child to understand. Instead of saying, “Thank you for being nice to your friend”， you can say, “Thank you for sharing your ball with Mattew. You made him happy.”
【写作内容】 以约30个词概括短文的要点；
2．然后以约120个词就“让独生子女学会分享”的主题发表你的看法，并包括以下要点：
(1)以前的孩子，由于兄弟姐妹多，在平时的生活里，有意无意地就学会了分享，而现在独生子女很难有机会感受到分享的乐趣；
(2)一个没有分享意识的孩子必然自私，也不容易合群，很难适应未来的社会；
(3)你的看法。
【写作要求】 可以使用实例或其他论述方法支持你的论点，也可以参照阅读材料的内容，但不得直接引用原文中的句子。
【评分标准】 概括准确，语言规范，内容合适，语篇连贯。
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答案
记叙文写作万能句：
摘要的开头语
a.点明写作目的类：
1.The passage/ story is mainly about (talks about) …
2.The writer/author tells us about …
3.The passage narrates that …
4.The writer tells us…（主题）by showing us an example of…, who/which…（故事情节）.
b.作者经历类：
In the passage, the writer mainly tells us his experience of doing sth, which……
c. 他人经历类：
This passage is mainly about sb’s experience of doing sth…..
记叙文的过渡语 (引出类似的经历)
1.This story reminds me of another story that happened to…
2.This story reminds me of a similar experience of…
3. There is a story about me real