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母亲节:原谅、感恩及其它.doc

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Mother’s day, forgiveness, celebration and a special offer I was one of 10 children. My mom wrote me the above note 25 years ago when I was angry with her for breaking a promise. It reads, "To My Dearest Daughter Theresa, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. It's so hard to please all ten. I love you much. Mom." It meant the world to me. Reading it provided me with a light bulb moment. As a mother and daughter it was a defining moment. Being a mom is very difficult. I agree. There is no such thing as a perfect mom, perfect children or a perfect family. You only need to be 'good enough.' We know that and yet for some reasons we continue to have high expectations of each other. As a mom you don't get a second chance at being a parent. You can't go back in time and change things. You can only begin again. Some mothers aren't capable of beginning again. Some can't. Some won't. It doesn't matter. If nothing else she gave you the gift of life. That's huge. This Mother's Day be grateful and celebrate it! Forgiveness I made numerous mistakes as a teenage mom. With four daughters under four, my twenties were my most difficult years! I give myself credit for sticking it out. I so wanted to run. Disappear. Never come back. I was thin. Dark circles under my eyes. Depressed. I didn't run. I stayed and at 27 decided to get help. My commitment to therapy saved us. Forgive your mom. She did the best she could do, with what she knew, at the time. When we know better, we do better. Forgive your mom for the mistakes she made. Forgive yourself as well. Life is too short to live in the past. A phone call A child's voice, chatter, whisper, giggle, or laugh is music to a mother's ears. No matter what the age, we love to hear our children's voices. Go one step further than a text and call your mother on Sunday. Speak from your heart. Make a card It doesn't have to be fancy. Homemade cards make a mother's heart sing. They have more meaning than a purchased gift. I don't know why. They just do. Write down three words, "I love you." Then sign it. Frame a photo I love, love, love framed photographs. Some suggestions would be a photo of you and your mom when you were young, a photo of your family today, a photo of a special birthday party. My walls have always been filled with family photos. Write a poem It is meant to be a meditation of sorts, that conveys an image or feeling when you see or notice something that makes you want to say to others – Bake cookies What activity did you love to do together when you were young? Invite your mom to join you and do it again. My mom used to love to bake. I loved to help her. Time together will put her over the moon! Invite her over for a favorite TV show and a big bowl of popcorn. A favorite book or movie Do you know your mom's favorite author or movie star? An offline shopping trip to a neighborhood bookstore is a double joy. Enjoy coffee or tea and a sweet treat. Keep your cell phone off and give her your undivided attention. Look at her with loving eyes and a heart filled with gratitude. She won't be around forever. A weekend trip Is there a bed and breakfast nearby? Is there a friend or relative that she would enjoy visiting overnight? Make the arrangements. Time together is priceless. Priceless! My mom and her younger brother were very close. He moved from Indiana to Colorado Springs to be near his family when he retired. My mom was 80 years old when he became ill. I convinced her to fly from Michigan with me to visit him one last time. I have a beautiful photo of this precious weekend. Extend a helping hand Notice what your mother's needs are. What small jobs could you help out with? Show up with your tools and supplies and offer to help. Do it with a smile. You'll never regret it. Never. Reflect on all the memories you have of her helping you. Dinner out Does she have a favorite restaurant? Before we moved to Arizona we would visit my mom on Sundays. We often made or picked up dinner on the way, when she wasn't able to get out anymore. I was blessed to live nearby. It's difficult to watch your parents age. Sometimes it's difficult to go. Go anyway. It's part of a life of no regrets. Gather family together This can be as simple as gathering family members together for a game night, family dinner, or family reunion. You don't have to wait until everyone can be together. Gather those who are willing and able. Mentally prepare yourself before you go. Set an intention of love. Don't bring up old issues or discuss problems. Make it light and have fun! Learn to enjoy each other's company. Accept your mother If you are an adult, speak well of your mother or say nothing at all. Heal your pain. Heal your past. You can't change it. You can 0nly change your perception. Learn to choose love over fear. If you can't be with her. Love her from a distance. If you choose to be with her, do so out of unconditional love. Live in the moment. Be in the moment. Be the love you wished you had received. Commit today that you will never say another unloving word again. Stop complaining. It's bad karma. Deal with it and move on. 母亲节:原谅、感恩及其它 我一共有10个兄弟姐妹。我还依稀记得25年前因母亲没有兑现诺言而和她大吵了一架。母亲当时写给我一张便条:我的宝贝女儿特蕾莎,非常抱歉我伤害了你的感情,要让10个孩子都满意,真的很难做到。爱你的母亲。 这张便条对我来说意味着一切,它化解了我与母亲之间的矛盾,又让我明白了许多东西。 妈妈不好当,我非常同意这句话。世上也没有一个完美的母亲、完美的孩子、完美的家庭。我们能做的就是尽可能地做到更好。 出于一些原因,我们依然对彼此持有高期望值。 作为一个母亲,你只有一次宝贵的机会当你孩子的家长。你无法回到过去改变已发生的事情。你能做的只有重新开始。  一些母亲可能不会再去养育子女了,但这也多大关系。母亲所给你的最宝贵的礼物就是生命,所以每一个子女都应心怀感激地好好庆祝一下母亲节。 作为一个年轻的母亲,我犯过许多过错。我有四个年龄还不到四岁的孩子,这对于一个年轻轻轻的母亲来说无疑是件头疼的事。我多么想一逃了之,就此消失得无影无踪,不再回来。我身体很虚弱,脸上都是黑眼圈、极度沮丧。但是我没有那样做,我没有逃跑,我留了下来去抚养这四个孩子,作为一个27岁的母亲我需要别人的帮助。最终我们还是度过了难关。 所以,请原谅你的母亲。她已尽了全力,原谅她所犯的过错,同时也要原谅你自己。因为人生太短暂,我们不该或者过去。 打一通电话 孩子的笑声、喃喃低语、傻笑对于母亲来说就仿佛是来自天堂的美妙音乐。不论年龄几何,我们都爱听到自己的孩子的声音。所以,除了发短信之外,你还有更进一步,向她打一通电话,说说你的心里话,她会非常开心的。 制作一张卡片 卡片不需要非常昂贵的那种,你只需手工做一张就可以了,母亲们也会非常喜欢的。而且对她们来说,你亲手做的卡片要比购买来的更意义深刻。卡片做完后,在上面写上“我爱你”,最后再签上你的名字。 选一张特殊照片,然后添加上相框 我非常非常喜欢带有相框的照片。你可以选择一种特别的相片,如年轻时候的你、全家福、生日聚会纪念照片,然后给他们镶上相框。我家墙上挂满了家人的照片。 写一首诗 你可以借景抒情,表达你的感受。 烘培曲奇饼 你小时候特别喜欢哪些家庭活动呢?我母亲非常喜欢烘培曲奇饼,我很喜欢打她下手。要是我在母亲节邀请她来一起烘培饼干,看看电视,吃吃爆米花,我想她一定会开心死的。 最爱的一本书或一部影片 你知道你母亲最喜欢的一位作家或影星是谁吗?邀请你的母亲去临近街区的书店逛逛会是一件非常愉悦的事。把手机关机,心怀感激之心,把心思都放在你母亲身上。你要做的就是在她有生之年给她带去尽可能多的快乐。 周末短途旅行 附近是否有你的老朋友正等着你去拜访他们?如果是的话,作好安排,一起欢度美好的时光。 我的母亲和她的弟弟家住得非常近。他退休后就从印第安纳州搬到了科罗拉多州斯普林斯住。我母亲80岁时生了一场病。我说服她从密歇根州飞往她弟弟的住处去见他最后一面。我还保存着那个周末所拍的宝贵照片。 伸出你的援助之手 你母亲的需求是什么?你都要一清二楚。有哪些事你可以帮她一下的呢?何不带着微笑,帮她一点小忙呢?她会非常开心的。 外出就餐 她最喜欢的一家餐馆是哪家?在我们搬往亚利桑那州前,我们拜访了我的母亲。因为她行动不方便,我们时常带着外卖去她家。幸亏我们那时住得比较近。看着你父母一天天老去是件很难受的事,如果他们行动还尚方便的话,那就多带他们去他们喜欢的餐馆共进晚餐。 家庭聚会 举办家庭聚会是件非常简单又能带来巨大欢乐的事情。首先先向你的家庭成员发出邀请,接着你去好好期待这次聚会吧。在聚会上,切忌谈论不高兴的往事,让活动变得轻松有趣。      接受你的母亲 如果你已是一个成年人,那就更应该向你母亲多说些好话。过去的事情无法改变,不要拒绝接受事实,这样你就可以治愈自己的痛苦,忘怀过去。 如果你不在她身边。你要知道空间上的距离也不会削弱你对她的爱。如果你就在她的身边,何不现在你向她表达你对她的敬意呢?  活在当下,你便能享受生活;给予爱,你便能收获爱。承诺不再说没有爱心的话。不要再抱怨,那是不好的因果循环,处理它,然后继续前行。
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