幽默短篇2.doc

幽默短篇(2)

    Can you think of a sentence in which the word "and" appears five times, without any words in between?  There is one at the end of this story.
    There was once an inn which was called "The House and Cart".  It had a sign outside it which had a picture of a horse and cart on it, but the sign was getting very old, so the owner of the inn decided to have a new one made.  He went to a painter and asked him to paint one, and to write "The Horse and Cart" on it in large letters.
    A few days later, he went to see how the painter was getting on.  He liked the picture of the horse and cart very much, but he did not like the writing at all.  He said to the painter, "No, no!  There is too much space between HORSE and AND and AND and CART!"

 1. What is strange about the last sentence in this story?
 2. Why did the inn sign have a picture of a horse and cart on it?
 3. Why did the owner of the inn want a new sign?
 4. What didn't he like about the writing on the new sign? 

    Carol and Susan were great friends.  They were in the same class at school, and they often visited each other's homes at weekends.
   When they were both eight years old, Carol's mother had a baby.  Carol was overjoyed to have a little sister and was always talking about her to Susan, Who had no brothers or sisters.
    At first Susan was very interested in the new baby, but after some time she began to get rather discontented with Carol's continual talking about it.  She also felt a little jealous.
    One morning when the two girls were in the school play-ground, Carol said to Susan cheerfully, "Do you know, Sue, my baby sister gained nearly two hundred grams in weight this week."
    "That's not very much," answered Susan.  "I know a baby that gains five kilograms a day."
    "Oh, that can't be true!" answered Carol scornfully.  "Whose baby is it?"
    "An elephant's," said Susan.

 1. How many children did Susan's parents have?
 2. Why did Susan get tired of hearing about Carol's sister?
 3. What did Carol boast to Susan about one morning?
 4. What did Susan do to try to make Carol boast less?　

    David was a young man who worked in an office in a big city.  His hobby was fishing, but he did not often get a chance to practice it.
    Then one summer he decided to have a holiday in a beautiful place in the mountains where there were a lot of streams.  "I ought to be able to have some good fishing there," he said to himself.
    The first morning after he arrived, he walked to the nearest stream with his fishing-rod.  He saw an old man standing beside the water, so he asked him whether it was a private stream.  The old man answered that it was not, so David then said to him, "Well, then it won't be a crime if I catch some fish here, will it?"
    "Oh, no," answered the old man, "it won't be a crime, but it will certainly be a miracle."

 1. Why did David decided to have a holiday in a place with streams?
 2. Why did he ask the old man if the stream was private?
 3. What did the old man think would be a miracle?
 4. Why did he think so?          

    For a long time Dr. Jackson had wanted to get a permanent job in a certain big modern hospital, and at last he was successful.  He was appointed to the particular position which he wanted, he and his wife moved to the house which they were now to live in.  The next day some beautiful flowers were delivered to them, with a note which said, "Deepest sympathy". 
    Naturally, Dr. Jackson was annoyed to receive such an extraordinary note, and telephoned the shop which had sent the flowers to find out what the note meant.
    When the owner of the shop heard what had happened, he apologized to Dr. Jackson for having made the mistake.
    "But what really worries me much more," he added, "is that the flowers which ought to have gone to you were sent to a funeral, with a card which said, 'Congratulations on your new position'."

 1.What did Dr. Jackson succeed in doing?
 2. What annoyed him about the note on the flowers he had received?
 3. Why was the owner of the shop worried about the card which had gone to      the funeral?