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LoveandLovingRelationshipsNijole V.BenokraitisUnit4第1页What are the essential factors in choosing your boyfriend/girlfriend?n nAppearance:n nCharacter:n nJob:n nFamily background:第2页ResponsibleReliableHard-workingHumorousEasy-goingGenerousRomanticSmartConsiderateknowledgeableWhat characters make your dream man?第3页Astoryaboutlove:OncealadywhenhavingaconversationwithherOncealadywhenhavingaconversationwithherlover,asked:lover,asked:LadyLady:Whydoyoulikeme.?Whydoyouloveme?:Whydoyoulikeme.?Whydoyouloveme?ManMan:Icanttellthereason.butIreallylikeyou.:Icanttellthereason.butIreallylikeyou.Lady:Youcanteventellmethereason.howcanyousayyouLady:Youcanteventellmethereason.howcanyousayyoulikeme?Howcanyousayyouloveme?likeme?Howcanyousayyouloveme?Man:Ireallydontknowthereason,butIcanprovethatIloveMan:Ireallydontknowthereason,butIcanprovethatIloveU.U.Lady:Proof?No!Iwantyoutotellmethereason.MyfriendsLady:Proof?No!Iwantyoutotellmethereason.Myfriendsboyfriendcantellherwhyhelovesherbutnotyou!boyfriendcantellherwhyhelovesherbutnotyou!Man:Ok.ok!Emmmmm.becauseyouareMan:Ok.ok!Emmmmm.becauseyouarebeautiful,becauseyourvoiceissweet,becauseyouarebeautiful,becauseyourvoiceissweet,becauseyouarecaring,becauseyouareloving,becauseyouarethoughtful,caring,becauseyouareloving,becauseyouarethoughtful,becauseofyoursmile,becauseofyoureverymovements.becauseofyoursmile,becauseofyoureverymovements.第4页TheladyfeltverysatisfiedwiththemansTheladyfeltverysatisfiedwiththemansanswer.Unfortunately,afewdayslater,theladyanswer.Unfortunately,afewdayslater,theladymetwithanaccidentandwentincomma.Themetwithanaccidentandwentincomma.Theguythenplacedaletterbyherside,andhereisguythenplacedaletterbyherside,andhereisthecontent:thecontent:Darling,Darling,BecauseofyoursweetvoicethatIloveyou.NowBecauseofyoursweetvoicethatIloveyou.Nowcanyoutalk?No!ThereforeIcannotloveyou.canyoutalk?No!ThereforeIcannotloveyou.BecauseofyourcareandconcernthatIlikeBecauseofyourcareandconcernthatIlikeyou.you.第5页Nowthatyoucannotshowthem,thereforeIcannotNowthatyoucannotshowthem,thereforeIcannotloveyou.Becauseofyoursmile,becauseofyourloveyou.Becauseofyoursmile,becauseofyoureverymovementsthatIloveyou.NowcanyoueverymovementsthatIloveyou.Nowcanyousmile?Nowcanyoumove?No,thereforeIcannotsmile?Nowcanyoumove?No,thereforeIcannotloveyou.Ifloveneedsareason,likeloveyou.Ifloveneedsareason,likenow,Thereisnoreasonformetoloveyouanymore.now,Thereisnoreasonformetoloveyouanymore.Doesloveneedareason?NO!Therefore,IstillloveDoesloveneedareason?NO!Therefore,Istillloveyou.you.SometimesthebestandthemostbeautifulthingsinSometimesthebestandthemostbeautifulthingsintheworldcannotbeseen,cannotbetouched,butcantheworldcannotbeseen,cannotbetouched,butcanbefeltintheheartbefeltintheheart第6页Whatislove?l lLoveisaLoveisasensation(sensation(感觉）感觉）(basedonphysicalandemotional(basedonphysicalandemotionalattraction)thatmagically,spontaneouslygenerateswhenMr.attraction)thatmagically,spontaneouslygenerateswhenMr.orMrsRightappears.orMrsRightappears.l lLoveisLoveisastrongfeelingastrongfeelingofattachment(ofattachment(喜爱、喜爱）喜爱、喜爱）,intimacyandlongingbetweenpeople.Suchintimacyandlongingbetweenpeople.Suchafeelingafeelingmakesmakespeopleunselfishandwillingtodevoteallthattheyhave.peopleunselfishandwillingtodevoteallthattheyhave.l lLoveistheLoveistheattachmentattachmentthatresultsfromdeeplyappreciatingthatresultsfromdeeplyappreciatinganothersanothersgoodnessgoodness.第7页Whatislove?lCommonandessentiallove:lfamilylovelfriends,lthelovebetweenamanandawoman.第8页Understanding love and marriage Mutualunderstandingiscrucialtothesuccessofmarriage.Asasayinggoes:Marriageisthegraveforlove.”Toacertainextent,ithassomepointinit,becauseloveinmostcaseisromanticandtheloveronlyseesthebrightsideofhisorhercounterpart,butthemarriageinvolvesmoreunpleasantthings.Duringthedailylife,younotonlydiscoverhisorherbrightside,youmayalsobereluctanttofindsometimeshimorheroffensivetoyou.Therefore,mutual understandingisprettyimportanttomaintainagoodmarriage.Withoutit,thecoupleswillonlycomplaineachotherwhenconfrontedwithconflictsbetweenthem.Astimegoesbyandthetensionexists,moreoftenthannot,themarriagewilleventuallyfallcollapsed.Sothemostandforemostthingthatacoupleshouldkeepinmindisthatthe precious love that bind them together.Ifnotforthat,howcouldtheygettoknowandfallinlovewitheachother?第9页TipstoLoveandHappyMarriage1.Starteachdaywithakissorahug2.Wearyourweddingringatalltimes3.Acceptdifferences4.Begentle5.Selectasongthatcanbe“oursong”6.Dowhattheotherpersonwantsbeforeheorsheasks第10页TipstoLoveandHappyMarriage7.Encourage8.Knowhisorherneeds9.Complimenttwiceaday10.Callduringtheday11.Askforeachothersopinion12.Showrespect13.Celebratebirthdaysinabigway第11页TipstoLoveandHappyMarriage14.Apologize15.Forgive16.Bepositive17.Respondquicklytotheotherpersonsrequest18.Treateachothersfriendsandrelativeswithcourtesy第12页Idiomsaboutlove:llovebirds鸳鸯鸳鸯lfallinlove相爱相爱lloveatfirstsight一见钟情一见钟情lbeheadoverheelsinlove热恋中热恋中lhaveacrushonsb 迷恋迷恋lsweepsb.offtheirfeet另某人一另某人一见倾心见倾心第13页Forbetter,forworse;Forricher,forpoorer;Insicknessandinhealth;Toloveandtocherish;Tilldeathusdopart.Marriage Vows 第14页Backgroundofthetext ThetextisextractedfromMarriages and FamiliesbyNijole V.Benokraitis.ThebookhasbeenusedasatextbookforsociologycoursesandwomensstudiesinanumberofuniversitiesintheU.S.Ithighlightsimportantcontemporarychangesinsocietyandthefamilyandexploresthechoicesthatareavailabletofamilymembers,aswellastheconstraintsthatmanyofusdonotrecognize.ItexaminesthediversityofAmericanfamiliestoday,usingcross-culturalandmulticulturalcomparisonstoencouragecreativethinkingaboutthemanycriticalissuedthatconfrontthefamilyofthetwenty-firstcentury.第15页TextAnalysis-LoveandLovingRelationshipsPart1.Paras.1-3Mainidea:Loveisessentialforhumansurvival.Arguments:Para.1A.Thefamilyisusuallyourearliestandmostimportantsourceofloveandemotionalsupport.B.Babiesandchildrendeprivedoflovehavebeenknowntodevelopawidevarietyofproblems.Supports:第16页TextAnalysis-LoveandLovingRelationshipsProblemsbabiesandchildrendevelop(whichsometimes:DepressionHeadachesPhysiologicalimpairments生理方面残疾Neuroticandpsychosomaticdifficulties神经质及心理上压力造成疾病IncontrastInfantswhoarelovedandcuddledtypicallygainmoreweight,cryless,andsmilemore.Byfiveyearsofage,theyhavebeenfoundtohavesignificantlyhigherIQsandtoscorehigheronlanguagetests.第17页TextAnalysis-LoveandLovingRelationshipsMainidea:Loveisessentialforhuman survival.Arguments:Paras.2-3C.Muchresearchshowsthatthequalityofcareinfantsreceiveaffectstheirlifeinmanyways.Supports:(how,how,how,how.)(Sopeoplesearlyintimaterelationshipswithintheirfamilyoforiginarecritical.)Incontrast,D.Loveforoneself,orself-love,isalsoessentialforSupports:(ExampleofMaeWest)第18页TextAnalysis-LoveandLovingRelationshipsMainidea:Loveisessentialforhuman survival.Arguments:Paras.2-3E.Socialscientistsdescribeself-loveasF.Peoplewhodontlikethemselvesmaynotbeableto(self-loveasaprerequisiteforlovingothersFromm1956)第19页TextAnalysis-LoveandLovingRelationshipsPart2.Whatislove?Paras.4-8A.Loveisanelusiveconcept.(argument)Supports:a.Whenaskedwhatloveis,peoplegiveavarietyofanswers.sub-supports:b.Lovehasmanydimensions.c.Lovecanberomantic,exciting,obsessive,irrationalorplatonic,calming,altruisticd.Lovedefiesasingledefinition第20页TextAnalysis-LoveandLovingRelationshipsB.Threeelementsforalovingrelationship:a.b.c.C.Love,especiallylong-termlove,hasnothingincommonwiththeimagesofloveorfrenziedsexthatwegetfromHollywood,television,andromancenovels.supports:“stirring-the-oatmeallove”第21页TextAnalysis-LoveandLovingRelationshipsPart3.Whattypeoflovebringspeopletogether?Isthereonepersonouttherethatoneismeantfor?Paras.9-12Supports:a.Empiricalstudiesshowthatculturalnormsandvalues,notfate,bringpeopletogether.Culturalnormsandvalues:b.Criticismandapprovalteachuswhatisacceptableromanticbehaviorandwithwhom.第22页TextAnalysis-LoveandLovingRelationshipsc.Lustanddesirearedifferentfromlove,especiallyromanticlove.d.Oneshouldnotconcludethatdesirealwaysculminateinphysicalintimacyorthatdesireisthesameasromanticlove.e.Healthylovingrelationships,whetherphysicalornot(suchasloveforfamilymembers),reflectabalanceofcaring,intimacy,andcommitment.第23页Backgroundinformation:MaeWest(18931980)Americanactress,playwright,screenwriter,andsexsymbol.Penname:JaneMaskFirststarringroleinaplay:Sex(1926)Otherstarringrolesin:Night After Night(1932)She Done Him Wrong(1933)Im No Angel(1933)Myra Breckinridge(1970)Sextette(1978)第24页lMae West(Mae West(麦麦韦斯特韦斯特)(1893-1980)(1893-1980)百老汇著名女演员百老汇著名女演员 麦韦斯特5 岁时便登台演戏演滑稽戏，14岁时开始演杂耍戏并在百老汇舞台上演时事讽刺剧。1926年她创作并演出了自己第一个剧本性，在百老汇引发轰动，但却遭到司法部门禁演，并被拘留5天，原因是该剧内容有伤风化。1927年她又编导了一部描写同性恋戏剧舞会，该剧一上演便大获好评，但却被警告不得在百老汇上演。1928年她创作小钻石终于在百老汇取得好评，依据小钻石改编而成电影地狱之花也在1933年取得奥斯卡最正确影片提名。35年以性感著称麦韦斯特成为当初好莱坞片酬最高女明星。40年代，她曾在欧洲各地舞台上巡回演出她得意之作小钻石多年之久。1954年，六十多岁麦韦斯特开始在夜总会演出，不想早已不是风华正茂她一样取得了巨大成功，可见其魅力之大。1959年她出版了自己自传与德性无关。70年，已年届80她重返影坛参加影片迈拉布雷肯里奇演出与制作。78年，85岁高龄她依然宝刀不老，再次重返影坛，自编自导了影片老相好群英会。第25页Backgroundinformationl艾瑞克弗洛姆(Erich Fromm，19001980)，德國猶太人。為逃避納粹迫害，逃亡美國，於一九三四年加入美國籍。他是二十世紀著名心理學家、社會學家和哲學家，人本主義精神分析學說創始人。在心理學中，他是精神分析社會文化學派代表人物和集大成者；在哲學中，他又是法蘭克福學派和西方馬克思主義代表人物之一。第26页Languagepoints1.Babiesandchildrendeprivedoflovehaveknowntodevelopawidevarietyofproblemforexample,depression,headaches,physiologicalimpairments,andneuroticandpsychosomaticdifficultiesthatsometimeslastalifetime.(Para.1)deprivesbofsth.:剥夺；使丧失剥夺；使丧失e.g.Hewasdeprivedofhisrightstoeducation.他被剥夺了受教育权利。他被剥夺了受教育权利。impairment:thefactthatapartofyourbodyisunabletodosomethingfully（身体机能）受损（身体机能）受损 e.g.ahearingimpairment听力受损听力受损第27页2.Amongotherthings,peoplewholikethemselvesaremoreopentocriticismandlessdemandingofothers.(Para.3)amongotherthings:除了别以外，另外除了别以外，另外e.g.1)Shesverykeenonsport;amongotherthings,sheplaystennistwiceaweek.2)Atthemeetingtheydiscussed,amongotherthings,recenteventsinJapan.demanding:(指人指人)对他人要求高对他人要求高,苛求苛求e.g.Childrenaresodemanding:theyneedconstantattention.第28页3.Lovehasmanydimensions.(Para.5)dimension:anaspectofasituationthatinfluencesthewaythatyouthinkaboutthesituation方面；部分 e.g.1)Thereisadimensiontotheproblemthatwehavenotdiscussed.2)Thereisapoliticaldimension(政治色彩）totheaccusations.第29页4.Althoughlovemayinvolvepassionateyearning,respectisamoreimportantquality.(Para.6)lyearning:n.astrongdesireorfeelingofwantingsomething向往，思慕，向往，思慕，渴望渴望e.g.1)Hehadadeepyearningtoreturntohishometown.2)IsupposeitsbecauseIliveinacrowdedcitythatIhavethisyearningforopenspaces.第30页5.Evenduringthepreteenyears,romanticexperiencesareculturedinthesensethatsocietalandgrouppracticesandexpectationsshaperomanticexperience.(Para.10)lpreteen:of,relatingto,characteristicof,ordesignedforpreteens13岁以下儿童 e.g.preteenfashions青春期前儿童时装lsocietal:relatingtoaparticularsociety,orthewaysocietyisorganized社会 e.g.societalchanges社会变革societalforces社会势力第31页6.ReganandBerscheid(1999)differentiatebetweenlust,desire,andromanticlove.(Para.11)ldifferentiate:toseeorshowadifferencebetweenthings=distinguish识别；看出差异e.g.1)Neiliscolor-blindandcannotdifferentiatebetweenredandgreen.2)Itssometimeshardtodifferentiateonesamplefromanother.第32页7.Oncedesirediminishes,disappointedloversmaywonderwherethe“spark”intheirrelationshiphasgoneandmayreminisceregretfully(andlongingly)about“thegoodolddays”.(Para.11)ldiminish:tobecomeless,ortomakesomethingbecomeless（使）变小；（使）降低（使）变小；（使）降低e.g.Suddenlythewinddiminishedandtheseagrewcalmagain.突然风变小了，大海又平静了下来。突然风变小了，大海又平静了下来。lreminisce:v.torecallortalkaboutpastexperiences,events,etc.追忆往事，缅怀往事；回想，话旧追忆往事，缅怀往事；回想，话旧e.g.Wespenttheeveningreminiscingaboutouruniversitydays.我们整晚都在回想我们大课时光。我们整晚都在回想我们大课时光。第33页UsefulGrammarintheText1.Byfiveyearsofage,theyhavebeenfoundto have significantly higher IQs andto score higher on language tests.2.When asked whatloveis,peoplegiveavarietyofanswers.3.ReganandBerscheidsuggestthatdesireisanessentialingredientforinitiating and maintaining romantic love.第34页非谓语动词使用方法1.非谓语动词分类非谓语动词分类2.非谓语动词特点非谓语动词特点3.非谓语动词时态、语态改变非谓语动词时态、语态改变4.非谓语动词在句中使用非谓语动词在句中使用第35页指出以下句中非谓语动词使用方法指出以下句中非谓语动词使用方法lItisnoteasytomaster(mastering)aforeignlanguage.lTheyencouragedlearningEnglishbyradio.lThenexttraintoarrivewasfromNewYork.lWejumpedwithjoytohearthenews.lDontgetyourschedulechanged;staywithus.第36页1.Thebossrealizedtheimportanceofqualifiedstaff,andurgedall_toparticipateinthetrainingseminar.A.concerningB.theconcerningC.concernedD.theconcerned2.InAustraliatheAsianshavemadetheirinfluence_inbusinesses,largeandsmall.A.feelingB.feelC.feltD.tobefelt3._inasimplestyle,thebookclearlydescribestheauthorschildhoodexperiencesinasmalltown.A.WritingB.TobewrittenC.BeingwrittenD.Written第37页True or False 1.Accordingtotheresearches,childrenwhohaveintimaterelationshipwiththeirownfamilieswillshowtheirstrongabilitytocommunicate,togethighschoolachievements,toreacttopossiblestressfulsituationsandtofindgoodjobs.2.Childrenfromanunlovingenvironmentarelikelytoshowemotionalandsocialunderdevelopment,languageandmotorskillsretardation,andmentalhealthproblems.3.Accordingtotheauthor,itisverydifficulttogiveasingledefinitionforlovebecauseofthevariousdegrees,intensityanddifferentsocialcontextofit.第38页4Accordingtotheauthor,peoplecometogetherbecauseoftheirculturalstandardsandprinciplesaswellastheirdestiny.5Accordingtotheexpert,“stirring-the-oatmeallove”(Para.7)meansthatparentshavetopreparethemealtogetherinordertoshowtheirlove.6Desireisanessentialingredientforinitiatingandmaintainingromanticlove,however,oneshouldnotconcludethatdesirealwaysculminatesinphysicalintimacyorthatdesireisthesameasromanticlove.第39页lLoveisessentialforhumansurvival.First,familyisusuallyearliestandmostimportantsourceoflove.Sochildren_1_maydevelopavarietyofproblemssuchasdepression,headachesandneuroticdifficulties,whilechildrenwhoarelovedhavebeenfoundtohavesignificantlyhigherIQsandto_2_onlanguagetests.Inaddition,self-loveisalsoessentialforour_3_development.Socialscientistsdescribeself-loveasanimportantbasis_4_,anditisnecessaryforlovingothers.lIntermsofdescribinglove,loveisanelusiveconceptwhichhasmanydimensionsandvariesin_5_andacrosssocialcontexts.Therearethreeelementsnecessaryforalovingrelationship:(1)youarewillingto_6_theotherperson,evenifthisinvolvescompromiseandsacrifice;(2)youcanaccepttheotherpersonsfaultsandshortcomings;and(3)you_7_theloveoneswelfareasyourown.Andpeoplewhosaytheyare“inlove”emphasizecaring,_8_.lEmpiricalstudiesshowthat_9_andvalues,notfate,bringpeopletogether.Yourdecisionsaboutacceptableromanticinvolvementsmaybeinfluencebyyourparents,_10_,aswellassocietalandgrouppracticesandexpectations.第40页
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