中考英语作文书面表达.ppt

中考英中考英语作文作文书面面表达表达第一部分第一部分写作综述一、考试说明：一、考试说明：n n能简单能简单描述描述人物、场所、活动、事件。人物、场所、活动、事件。n n就常见话题就常见话题表述表述事实、表达观点、情事实、表达观点、情感和态度。感和态度。n n能用能用连词连词表示顺序和逻辑顺序表示顺序和逻辑顺序n n根据图示或表格写出简单的段落或操根据图示或表格写出简单的段落或操作说明作说明。二、评分标准二、评分标准n n说明：先根据文章整体内容和语言表达确定档次，然后在该档次内评出分数。二、评分标准二、评分标准n n第一档第一档 13-1513-15分分n n完全符合题目要求，表达思想清楚，内容丰富。使用多种语法结构和丰富的词汇，语言通顺，语意连贯，具有逻辑性。允许有个别语言错误。二、评分标准二、评分标准n n第二档第二档 9-129-12分分n n符合题目要求，表达思想基本清楚，内容基本完整。语法结构和词汇满足文章需要，语言基本通顺，语意基本连贯。有一些语言错误，但不影响整体理解。二、评分标准二、评分标准n n第三档第三档 5-85-8分分n n部分内容符合题目要求，表达思想不清楚，内容不完整。语法结构和词汇错误较多，语言不通顺，影响整体理解。二、评分标准二、评分标准n n第四档第四档 0-40-4分分n n与题目有关的内容不多，不能表达出自己的思想。只能简单拼凑影响词语，所写内容难以理解。三、写作流程三、写作流程n n1.1.思考素材思考素材n n-哪些素材适合本文写作？n n-哪些素材能满足写作要点？n n-在合适的素材里，哪些是我擅长表达的？三、写作流程三、写作流程n n2.组织材料组织材料 用写作提纲的方式组织好写作材料n n-开头：根据写作目的和内容要求选择恰当的开头方式。三、写作流程三、写作流程n n2.组织材料组织材料 用写作提纲的方式组织好写作材料n n-中间：根据写作中心和要点，按逻辑顺序列出具体素材和细节等。在要点中间列出需要的连词和过渡词，体现文章层次。三、写作流程三、写作流程n n2.组织材料组织材料 用写作提纲的方式组织好写作材料n n-结尾：根据写作目的和内容要求思考恰当的结束语。三、写作流程三、写作流程n n3.写作成文写作成文n n根据写作提纲，选用自己擅长的英语表达方式，把想要表达的内容完整地写出来。注意遣词造句方面应推敲打磨，力求行文流畅，语言地道，并使用多种语法结构和丰富的词汇。三、写作流程三、写作流程n n4.4.检查修改检查修改n n-文章中心明确、要点齐全吗？n n-文章表达清晰、有逻辑性吗？n n-文中的时态正确吗？（重点检查第三人称单数，动词过去式等）n n-文章的语法表达、拼写和标点正确吗？四、注意事项四、注意事项n n1.列好提纲打好草稿把握词数，注意表达的完整性。避免结构失调n n2.使用书面语，避免“中式英语”。n n3.书写工整，卷面整洁。n n4.把握时间，认真检查。n n5.练就基本功。（词汇的积累、常用写作句型、全面准确的语法知识、语言的流畅性、逻辑性等）第二部分第二部分获得技巧获得技巧 快速提高快速提高n n针对中考真题，呈现优秀、良好、合格三针对中考真题，呈现优秀、良好、合格三档范文，供不同层次学生学习并借鉴档范文，供不同层次学生学习并借鉴2009年北京市中考试题年北京市中考试题 某英文报纸就某英文报纸就“家务劳动（家务劳动（houseworkhousework）”话题征文，请你投稿。话题征文，请你投稿。每个家庭都有许多家务，人人都应该学做每个家庭都有许多家务，人人都应该学做一些。谈谈你一些。谈谈你经常帮父母做哪些家务经常帮父母做哪些家务，有什有什么体会么体会，并，并打算在暑假为家里做什么打算在暑假为家里做什么。提示词：提示词：every family,lots of every family,lots of housework,learn to do,help,parents,housework,learn to do,help,parents,be/feel proud ofbe/feel proud of优秀范文优秀范文1515分分 With some housework to do,every With some housework to do,every family member is family member is assignedassigned some tasks some tasks to finish every day.For me,to finish every day.For me,instead instead of of a bothersome mattera bothersome matter,doing,doing housework for my family is actually housework for my family is actually what adds some spice to my lifewhat adds some spice to my life.在第一段中，作者简明扼要地点明在第一段中，作者简明扼要地点明写作写作主题主题 After getting up every morning,I After getting up every morning,I constantlyconstantly help my mum prepare for help my mum prepare for breakfast,breakfast,from which I obtain from which I obtain some some valuable skills in cooking.Also,valuable skills in cooking.Also,thanks to thanks to the housework,I the housework,I have some have some good opportunities togood opportunities to spend time spend time talking and laughingtalking and laughing with my mum,with my mum,so so that that I can I can refresh my mind in fast-refresh my mind in fast-paced life paced life and and get ready to face get ready to face whatever comes in the day with whatever comes in the day with enthusiasmenthusiasm.Its.Its trulytruly meaningful and meaningful and important for me!important for me!在第二段中，作者用生动在第二段中，作者用生动形象的语言形象的语言记述记述了做家务了做家务一方面一方面是一种技能的学习，是一种技能的学习，另一方另一方面面提供了作者与父母沟通交流的平台。提供了作者与父母沟通交流的平台。In a wordIn a word,even if even if doing housework doing housework is just is just a little deeda little deed,it,it contributes contributes to making to making me become me become an all-round an all-round studentstudent by helping by helping me know more about me know more about life.life.在第三段中作者总结了做家务的体会，在第三段中作者总结了做家务的体会，升华了文章主题。升华了文章主题。AsAs my summer vacation is coming,my summer vacation is coming,I I cant wait to do cant wait to do everything within everything within my my capabilitycapability for my family.for my family.在第四段中，作者用简短的语言谈论了在第四段中，作者用简短的语言谈论了自己的暑假打算。自己的暑假打算。总体点评总体点评 本文内容完整，结构合理，有条不紊，本文内容完整，结构合理，有条不紊，详略详略得当，衔接得当，衔接自然，并且使用了自然，并且使用了多种句型多种句型结构，结构，使文章形式多样。精心选材，用优美的语言记使文章形式多样。精心选材，用优美的语言记述了做家务这一日常话题。述了做家务这一日常话题。最难能可贵的是文最难能可贵的是文章立意深刻，章立意深刻，作者不仅将做家务看作是一种生作者不仅将做家务看作是一种生活技能的学习，更重要的是他认为做家务是一活技能的学习，更重要的是他认为做家务是一个可以和父母沟通的桥梁，因此中心思想得到个可以和父母沟通的桥梁，因此中心思想得到了充分的了充分的升华升华，即文章的可读性及，即文章的可读性及思想性较强思想性较强。良好范文良好范文1111分分 Every family Every family is filled with is filled with different kinds of different kinds of housework.Mom housework.Mom cleans the floor cleans the floor every other dayevery other day,and,and does the laundry does the laundry and all the other and all the other housework on weekends.housework on weekends.Sometimes I Sometimes I help in the kitchen,doing some help in the kitchen,doing some cutting,cooking or washingcutting,cooking or washing.在第一段中，作者点明写作主题，讲述了在第一段中，作者点明写作主题，讲述了自己在家帮助父母所做的一些家务活，但自己在家帮助父母所做的一些家务活，但是仅停留在列举上，语言描述不够饱满。是仅停留在列举上，语言描述不够饱满。Housework is tiring Housework is tiring as well as as well as boring,boring,soso it must be much harder for it must be much harder for the parents coming home after a whole the parents coming home after a whole days busy work.days busy work.ThereforeTherefore,I think,I think its time for me to learn to do more its time for me to learn to do more things for our family.things for our family.在第二段中，作者说明做家务活很辛苦，在第二段中，作者说明做家务活很辛苦，但是如果能结合自身，谈谈帮父母做家务但是如果能结合自身，谈谈帮父母做家务活后的感受就更好了。活后的感受就更好了。Im Im planning to clean planning to clean the plates the plates after each meal and water the flowers after each meal and water the flowers in the summer vacation.I hope Ill in the summer vacation.I hope Ill make my parents make my parents feel proud of feel proud of me.me.在第三段中，作者清楚具体地表述了自己在第三段中，作者清楚具体地表述了自己在暑假中打算为父母做哪些家务活。在暑假中打算为父母做哪些家务活。总体点评总体点评 本文要点齐全，结构紧凑合理，使用了较为本文要点齐全，结构紧凑合理，使用了较为丰富的词汇，是一篇较好的习作。丰富的词汇，是一篇较好的习作。合格范文合格范文9 9分分 Every family has lots of Every family has lots of housework,and we should learn to do housework,and we should learn to do it.At home,I usually it.At home,I usually help my help my parents to doparents to do some housework,some housework,such as such as washing clothes,sweeping the floor washing clothes,sweeping the floor and watering the flowers.and watering the flowers.I think doing housework is I think doing housework is interesting.For example,one day I interesting.For example,one day I made breakfast for my parents,they made breakfast for my parents,they were happy.were happy.The summer vacation is coming The summer vacation is coming soon.soon.Im going to Im going to learn how to learn how to cook.I think my parents will cook.I think my parents will be be proud ofproud of their daughter me.their daughter me.总体点评总体点评 这篇习作内容不够充实，在句型的使用方这篇习作内容不够充实，在句型的使用方面几乎均为简单句（只有一处运用了面几乎均为简单句（只有一处运用了andand并列并列句，两处使用了句，两处使用了I think)I think)，同时词汇量有，同时词汇量有限，直接导致文章整体不够丰富精彩。限，直接导致文章整体不够丰富精彩。第三部分第三部分精打细磨，百炼成钢精打细磨，百炼成钢三类作文有一些典型错误，修改并加工提升；三类作文有一些典型错误，修改并加工提升；二类作文基本无语言错误，从内容、层次、二类作文基本无语言错误，从内容、层次、礼仪、语言等方面提升成一类作文。礼仪、语言等方面提升成一类作文。20082008北京海淀一模北京海淀一模 还记得发生在你身上最难忘的一次经历吗？还记得发生在你身上最难忘的一次经历吗？某英文报纸正在以某英文报纸正在以“An Unforgettable An Unforgettable Experience”Experience”为题进行征文活动。请你写一篇为题进行征文活动。请你写一篇短文，描述一次难忘的经历，并谈谈你的感想。短文，描述一次难忘的经历，并谈谈你的感想。提示词：提示词：remember,help,wonderful,feel,remember,help,wonderful,feel,thinkthink三类作文提升到二类作文三类作文提升到二类作文8 8分分Everyone has some unforgettable Everyone has some unforgettable experiences.experiences.Last Last summer I went to Guilin.Its summer I went to Guilin.Its beautiful.beautiful.WeWe went there by plane.We went there by plane.We sit boat sit boat in the river,and I in the river,and I cancan see see the grass and fish in it.We were the grass and fish in it.We were excitingexciting to see many special hills and to see many special hills and holes,and we took a lot of holes,and we took a lot of photophoto.Then we went to buy some Then we went to buy some giftgift for my for my friends.We friends.We eateat some food in a some food in a restaurant.At the end of the restaurant.At the end of the triptrip,I,I was sad and was sad and saysay goodbye to the goodbye to the beautiful city.beautiful city.I will never forget that trip.I will never forget that trip.修改后的文章修改后的文章 Last summer I went to Guilin Last summer I went to Guilin with with my parents by planemy parents by plane.On the first On the first dayday,we,we took a boattook a boat down the Li down the Li River.The scenery River.The scenery impressedimpressed me a me a lot.The water was lot.The water was soso clean clean thatthat I I could see the grass and fish in it.could see the grass and fish in it.BesidesBesides,Ive never seen those kinds,Ive never seen those kinds of special hills and holes,of special hills and holes,soso I I couldnt help taking couldnt help taking photos.photos.During the next two daysDuring the next two days,we,we not not onlyonly enjoyed the wonderful view enjoyed the wonderful view of of the nature there,the nature there,but also but also tried some tried some traditional foodtraditional food in the local in the local restaurants.restaurants.At the end of the tripAt the end of the trip,I bought some gifts for my friends I bought some gifts for my friends and and felt hard to say goodbyefelt hard to say goodbye toto the the city.city.Now when I see the photos,all the Now when I see the photos,all the beautiful memories beautiful memories come back to my come back to my mindmind.It is indeed a very memorable.It is indeed a very memorable trip.trip.提升亮点提升亮点n n1.1.要点齐全，突出中心要点齐全，突出中心n n It is indeed a very memorable It is indeed a very memorable trip.trip.提升亮点提升亮点n n2.2.加强层次加强层次n n Besides,Besides,n n so,so,n n During the next two days During the next two daysn n At the end of the trip At the end of the trip提升亮点提升亮点n n3.3.丰富了句式丰富了句式n nThe scenery impressed me a lot.The scenery impressed me a lot.n nI couldnt help taking photos.I couldnt help taking photos.提升亮点提升亮点n n4.4.丰富内容丰富内容n nThe water was so clean that I could The water was so clean that I could see the grass and fish in it.see the grass and fish in it.n nBesides,Ive never seen those kinds Besides,Ive never seen those kinds of special hills and holes,so I of special hills and holes,so I couldnt help taking photos.couldnt help taking photos.提升亮点提升亮点n n4.4.丰富内容丰富内容n nDuring the next two days,we not only During the next two days,we not only enjoyed the wonderful view of the enjoyed the wonderful view of the nature there,but also tried some nature there,but also tried some traditional food in the local traditional food in the local restaurants.restaurants.n nNow when I see the photos,all the Now when I see the photos,all the beautiful memories come back to my beautiful memories come back to my mind.It is indeed a very memorable mind.It is indeed a very memorable trip.trip.二类作文提升到一类作文二类作文提升到一类作文1111分分（注意黄色字体的好词好句）（注意黄色字体的好词好句）I had I had an unusual talk an unusual talk and it and it made made me so impressedme so impressed.One day I One day I had a quarrel with had a quarrel with one one of my classmates of my classmates becausebecause I thought I thought she was unfair and it she was unfair and it made me made me annoyedannoyed.Then I was asked to my head.Then I was asked to my head teacher,Ms.Zhangs office.She teacher,Ms.Zhangs office.She didnt blame me.She gave me a didnt blame me.She gave me a lesson lesson with reasonable wordswith reasonable words.She said,“You should She said,“You should respectrespect others.others.Keep calm Keep calm and and think on the think on the side of othersside of others.”Then she told me.”Then she told me some examples.She some examples.She didntdidnt stop stop talking talking untiluntil it was late.it was late.At the end At the end ofof the talk,she the talk,she encouraged me to doencouraged me to do better in future.I better in future.I got quite movedgot quite moved.Thats really an unforgettable Thats really an unforgettable experience for me to learn to forgive experience for me to learn to forgive others.others.总体点评总体点评n n优点：语言准确，表达基本清楚优点：语言准确，表达基本清楚n n不足：内容比较简单，描写不够细致不足：内容比较简单，描写不够细致n n 表达不够流畅，关联词使用较少表达不够流畅，关联词使用较少修改后的文章修改后的文章 Ive never had Ive never had suchsuch an unusual an unusual experience experience which which made me quite made me quite impressed.impressed.改前：改前：I had I had an unusual talk an unusual talk and it and it made me so impressedmade me so impressed.One day I had a quarrel with one One day I had a quarrel with one of my classmates.I of my classmates.I was really driven was really driven madmad and I and I yelled back to yelled back to each word of each word of hers.hers.Heading to Heading to my head teacher,Ms.my head teacher,Ms.Zhangs office,I still felt Zhangs office,I still felt misunderstood and annoyed.misunderstood and annoyed.To my surpriseTo my surprise,Ms.Zhang didnt,Ms.Zhang didnt blame me.blame me.InsteadInstead,she gave me a,she gave me a lesson with reasonable words.She lesson with reasonable words.She also also shared some lively examples of shared some lively examples of hershers.She.She kept talking patiently kept talking patiently untiluntil it was late.It was then that I it was late.It was then that I realized we were supposed to respect realized we were supposed to respect others and wed better keep calm to others and wed better keep calm to listen to others comments.listen to others comments.It was then thatIt was then that I realized we I realized we were supposed to were supposed to respect others and respect others and wed better keep calm to listen to wed better keep calm to listen to others comments.At the end of the others comments.At the end of the talk,I talk,I appreciatedappreciated Ms.Zhang for her Ms.Zhang for her help and help and promisedpromised to be a more open-to be a more open-minded person in the future.minded person in the future.I was quite moved by the I was quite moved by the impressiveimpressive talk,which taught me that talk,which taught me that forgiving was a necessary virtueforgiving was a necessary virtue and and we should learn to“we should learn to“look before you look before you leapleap”.”.提升亮点提升亮点n n1.1.非限制性定语从句的使用，补充说明相非限制性定语从句的使用，补充说明相关信息关信息(,which/who)(,which/who)n nI was quite moved by the impressive I was quite moved by the impressive talk,which taught me that forgiving talk,which taught me that forgiving was a necessary virtue.was a necessary virtue.n n注意：没有十分的把握，千万别用此句型，注意：没有十分的把握，千万别用此句型，否则反而因语法错丢分。否则反而因语法错丢分。提升亮点提升亮点n n2.2.为了突出强调某一部分，使用强调句为了突出强调某一部分，使用强调句(It is/was that/who)(It is/was that/who)n nIt was then that I realized we were It was then that I realized we were supposed to respect others.supposed to respect others.提升亮点提升亮点n n3.3.被动语态的灵活运用被动语态的灵活运用n n we were supposed to respect others we were supposed to respect others提升亮点提升亮点n n4.4.现在分词表示伴随动作，修饰细节现在分词表示伴随动作，修饰细节n nHeading to my head teacher,Ms.Heading to my head teacher,Ms.Zhangs office,I still felt Zhangs office,I still felt misunderstood and annoyed.misunderstood and annoyed.提升亮点提升亮点n n5.5.习语或相关谚语的使用，为突出主题服习语或相关谚语的使用，为突出主题服务务n nLook before you leap.Look before you leap.n n三思而后行。三思而后行。如何替换？如何替换？n n总结时：总结时：n nI think.n nI am greatly convinced/assured that.我深信我深信n nIt goes without saying that.不用说，。不用说，。n nIt goes without saying that home is the warmest place in the world.n nThere is no doubt that.毫无疑问的是毫无疑问的是.n nIt is obvious/apparent that.显然的是显然的是.n nIt is obvious that knowlege palys an important role in our life.n nIn my opinion,.n nAs far as I am concerned,.n n引用谚