朱纯深译《荷塘月色》部分段落赏析.doc

朱纯深译荷塘月色部分段落赏析荷塘月色,中国现代经典散文,是现代著名散文家、诗人兼学者朱自清的传世之作。写于1927年7月,那时作者在清华大学教书,文中所写的荷塘即在清华园。当时正值“四一二”政变及大革命失败,白色恐怖笼罩着中国大地。同当时大多数有良知、有社会责任感的人们一样,作者也处于苦闷彷徨中,他想投身革命,却有太多的顾虑和犹豫;他选择了逃避,却又在矛盾中挣扎。在如此复杂的心绪之下,他借景抒情,写出了这篇著名的荷塘月色,通过对夏夜荷塘景色的描绘,表明了自己对时局担忧和内心矛盾的心情,表达了作者对超凡脱俗的向往。文中作者采用首尾呼应的结构、清新自然的语言、天然去雕饰的风格、新奇贴切的联想、新奇别致的比喻及精心推敲的炼字,描绘了一幅有着梦幻般诗意的立体可观的荷塘月色图,营造了一个静谧阴沉的小天地。如此佳作,如何英译才能表达其音美、形美和意美呢?诺曼夏皮罗(Norman Shapiro)说过:“我认为,译文应力求透明,以致看起来不像译文。好的翻译像一块玻璃。只有玻璃上的一些小小的瑕疵擦痕和气泡。当然,理想的是最好什么也没有。译文应该永远不会引起读者感到他们是在读译作。”朱纯深先生的译文则在传达原文意境和情趣方面达到了“化境”,保持了原作的风姿,不失为这方面的一个好例子。赏析片段,见微知著。鉴于原文与译文篇幅较长,笔者拟从原文文本(source text)和译文文本(target text)中选出其中的部分段落试作对比,谈谈自己的看法。原文:曲曲折折的荷塘上面,弥望的是田田的叶子。叶子出水很高,像亭亭的舞女的裙。层层的叶子中间,零星地点缀着些白花,有袅娜地开着的,有羞涩地打着朵儿的;正如一粒粒的明珠,又如碧天里的星星,又如刚出浴的美人。微风过处,送来缕缕清香,仿佛远处高楼上渺茫的歌声似的。这时候叶子与花也有一丝的颤动,像闪电般,霎时传过荷塘的那边去了。叶子本是肩并肩密密地挨着,这便宛然有了一道凝碧的波痕。叶子底下是脉脉的流水,遮住了,不能见一些颜色;而叶子却更见风致了。月光如流水一般,静静地泻在这一片叶子和花上。薄薄的青雾浮起在荷塘里。叶子和花仿佛在牛乳中洗过一样;又像笼着轻纱的梦。虽然是满月,天上却有一层淡淡的云,所以不能朗照;但我以为这恰是到了好处酣眠固不可少,小睡也别有风味的。月光是隔了树照过来的,高处丛生的灌木,落下参差的斑驳的黑影,峭楞楞如鬼一般;弯弯的杨柳的稀疏的倩影,却又像是画在荷叶上。塘中的月色并不均匀;但光与影有着和谐的旋律,如梵婀玲上奏着的名曲。荷塘的四面,远远近近,高高低低都是树,而杨柳最多。这些树将一片荷塘重重围住;只在小路一旁,漏着几段空隙,像是特为月光留下的。树色一例是阴阴的,乍看像一团烟雾;但杨柳的丰姿,便在烟雾里也辨得出。树梢上隐隐约约的是一带远山,只有些大意罢了。树缝里也漏着一两点路灯光,没精打采的,是渴睡人的眼。这时候最热闹的,要数树上的蝉声与水里的蛙声;但热闹是它们的,我什么也没有。译文:All over this winding stretch of water,what meets theeye is a silken field of leaves,reaching rather high above the sur-face,like the skirts of dancing girls in all their grace.Here and there,layers of leaves are dotted with white lotus blossoms,some indemure bloom,others in shy bud,like scattering pearls,or twinkling stars,or beauties just out of the bath.A breeze stirs,sending overbreaths of fragrance,like faint singing drifting from a distant build-ing.At this moment,a tiny thrill shoots through the leaves and flow-ers,like a streak of lightning,straight across the forest of lotuses.The leaves,which have been standing shoulder to shoulder,are caught trembling in an emerald heave of the pond.Underneath,the exquisite water is covered from view,and none can tell its colour;yet the leaves on top project themselves all the more attractively.The moon sheds her liquid light silently over the leaves and flowers,which,in the floating transparency of a bluish haze from the pond,look as if they had just been bathed in milk,or like a dream wrapped in a gauzy hood.Although it is a full moon,shining through a film of clouds,the light is not at its brightest;it is,however,just right for mea profound sleep is indispensable,yet a snatched doze also has a savour of its own.The moon light is streaming down through the foliage,casting bushy shadows on the ground from high above,dark and checkered,like an army of ghosts;whereas the be-nign figures of the drooping willows,here and there,look like paint-ings on the lotus leaves.The moonlight is not spread evenly over the pond,but rather in a harmonious rhythm of light and shade,like a fa-mous melody played on a violin.Around the pond,far and near,high and low,are trees.Most ofthem are willows.Only on the path side can two or three gaps beseen through the heavy fringe,as if specially reserved for the moon.The shadowy shapes of the leafage at first sight seem diffused into amass of mist,againstwhich,however,the charm of those willow treesis still discernible.Over the trees appear some distantmountains,butmerely in sketchy silhouette.Through the branches are also a coupleof lamps,as listless as sleepy eyes.The most lively creatures here,forthe moment,must be the cicadas in the trees and the frogs in thepond.But the liveliness is theirs,I have nothing.原文中运用了大量的叠词(如:“曲曲折折”“田田”“亭亭”“层层”等)、迭声词(如:“袅娜”“仿佛”“渺茫”“斑驳”等)和双声叠韵词(如:“零星”“宛然”“酣眠”“均匀”等),它们的交错使用使原文在形象美的基础上还具备了音乐美和意境美。这些词除了精确达意外,在音节上更是给人以琅琅上口、回味无穷的审美享受,使原文增色不少。作者在原文中还精心恰当地选用了准确生动的动词(“泻”“浮”“笼”“画”“漏”等),其语言贴切,使原文平添了许多生动性。作者选用“一丝”“一道”“一带”“一两点”等准确达意的量词,起到了丰富、润色、强化形象,以及渲染和加强诗情画意的作用。文中大量无主句和平行结构的运用也加强了语言的气势和节奏感,使文章富于音乐感和美感。更须指出的是,除了大量的比喻外,原文还使用了比拟和通感(synaesthesia)两种修辞手法。比拟是把物拟成人,或将人拟成物,或将一物拟作另一物。如“层层的叶子中间,零星地点缀着些白花,有袅娜地开着的,有羞涩地打朵儿的”中“袅娜”和“羞涩”让荷花的万千的仪态和娇羞的媚态尽呈读者眼前。又如“叶子本是肩并肩密密地挨着”一句使文章生色许多。再如“ 叶子却更见风致了”写叶子像人一样风姿绰约。上述种种比拟不仅使荷塘景色更加形象生动,而且还起到了化静为动的神奇作用。而原文中最为经典的则是通感的运用。在“微风过处,送来缕缕清香,仿佛远处高楼上渺茫的歌声似的”中用“渺茫的歌声”来形容荷花的清香,在“但光与影有着和谐的旋律,如梵婀玲上奏着的名曲”中用“和谐的旋律”“如梵婀玲上奏着的名曲”来形容光和影。作者通过采用“通感”的手法,调动了读者的听觉、视觉、嗅觉等多种感觉器官,并把它们沟通起来,共同参与对散文的艺术欣赏,引起了读者丰富的联想,使文章产生更大的艺术魅力。以上种种既是原文的精彩之处,也是翻译时的重点和难点,还是真正体现译者水平的地方。朱纯深先生在译文中的遣词造句力求传达原文的形象美和音乐美,力图从整体效果上追求原文所传达的意境。针对原文中频频出现的叠词和平行结构,译者采用了各种不同的手法以期达到相应的效果:用头韵法(alliteration)和尾韵法(rhyming words),如:winding stretch of water,what/lay-ers of leaves/tiny thrill shoots through/a streak of lightning/shad-owy shapes/a mass of mist及here and there再现了原文的音乐美。即便是不押韵的情况下,作者精心挑选的词汇(如:silken field of leaves/around the pound)也使句子变得琅琅上口,极富节奏感;silken field同时还兼顾到了触觉和空间印象;译文也利用了英语中平行结构的类似效果,力图产生相应的感染力。如:some in demure bloom,others in shy bud等;译文中大量选用恰当的动词+ing形式,使得译文紧凑,完全符合英语表达习惯,同时也使译文生动形象,极富感染力。如:windingreachingdancingscatteringtwinklingsendingsingingdrifting等。倒装(inversion)的恰当运用也有效地增添了文采。如:Over the trees appear some distant mountains,but merely in sketchysilhouette.Through the branches are also a couple of lamps,as list-less as sleepy eyes.这两句都使用了倒装句式,既使前后对称又保持了上下文的连贯,互为对称又略有变化,原文的意境和神韵在译文中显而易见,使译文也别有一番韵味;原文中对照(antithesis)也在译文中得到了较好的体现,如:aprofoundsleep和a snatched doze;原文的通感在译文中得到了保留,原文的技巧和效果得到了再现,对译文读者来讲,不存在任何理解的障碍,它们都符合译入语的表达习惯。所谓见微知著,从原文的部分段落及其译文的对比中我们可以看出译者字斟句酌,精心选词,使用了大量常见且富于表现力的灵活度很高的小词,运用了各种翻译技巧、句子结构及修辞手法,再现了原文的清新自然的风格,传达了原文的音美、形美和意美。