chapter8 listening and feedback.ppt

Click to edit Master title style,Click to edit Master text styles,Second level,Third level,Fourth level,Fifth level,*,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,*,CHAPTER,8,Listening and Feedback,2026/5/27 周三,1,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,案例：做倾听式,CEO,马里奥特（,J.W.Marriott,Jr.,）是万豪国际酒店集团的董事长和,CEO,，喜欢走动式管理，以四处巡视旗下酒店为乐事。,他有一次巡视酒店，注意到顾客对餐厅女招待的服务评分不高。他问问题出在哪里，经理说不知道。但是，马里奥特注意到了经理不安的身体语言，接着问女招待的待遇是多少。得到回答之后，他接着问为什么待遇比市场标准低。经理说：加薪要总公司决定，而他不想提出来。,2,2026/5/27 周三,2,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,对话不过,30,秒，但是马里奥特发现了三个严重的问题：,第一，总公司管得太多。,第二，高层重视利润胜过顾客满意度。,第三，经理不敢提加薪要求，说明他的上级是糟糕的倾听者。,当然，马里奥特解决了所有三个问题。,3,2026/5/27 周三,3,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,Chapter Focus,In this chapter you will learn:,The benefits of better listening,An inventory of poor listening habits,Developing good listening habits,Guidelines for constructive feedback,Knowing how to give effective feedback,2026/5/27 周三,4,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,How Our Time is Spent Communicating,45%,of our day is spent listening,30%of our day is spent speaking,16%of our day is spent reading,9%of our day is spent writing,2026/5/27 周三,5,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,Listening is Hard Work,It is characterized by faster heart action,quicker circulation of the blood,and a small rise in bodily temperature.,The average American adult listens at an efficiency rate of 25%.,Listening is a process that includes hearing,attending to,understanding,evaluating,and responding to spoken messages.,2026/5/27 周三,6,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,倾 听,所谓倾听，就是,用耳听，用眼睛观察，用嘴提问，用脑思考，用心灵感受,。换句话说，倾听就是对信息进行积极主动的搜寻的行为。,“洗耳恭听”就是倾听的一种表现！,“听君一席话，胜读十年书”,2026/5/27 周三,7,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,倾听的五位一体法则,用耳听,用心灵感受,用眼观察,用嘴提问,用脑思考,2026/5/27 周三,8,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,中文听字的符号构成,Ear,耳朵,Plus-,加,One-,一,Heart-,心,Eye-,眼睛,经典管理故事分享与感悟,曾经有个小国的人来到中国来，进贡了三个一模一样的金人，把皇帝高兴坏了。可是这小国的人不厚道，同时出了一个题目：三个金人哪个最有价值？,2026/5/27 周三,10,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,皇帝请来珠宝匠来鉴定，称重量，看做工，都一样。泱泱大国，不会被这点小问题难倒吧？最后，有位退休的大臣说他有办法。皇帝将他请到大殿。,老臣拿着三根稻草，插入第一个金人的耳朵里，稻草从另一个耳朵出来了。,插入第二个金人的耳朵里，稻草从嘴里直接掉出来了。,插入第三个金人的耳朵里，稻草掉进了肚子里，什么响动也没有了。,老臣说：,第三个小金人最有价值。,2026/5/27 周三,11,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,感 悟,最有价值的人，不一定是最能说的人，老天给我们两只耳朵一个嘴巴，本来就是让我们,多听少说,的。,善于倾听,，才是成熟的人最基本素质。,2026/5/27 周三,12,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,听,Vs,倾听,听,：,耳朵接受响声的行为；,只有声音，没有信息；,被动,的、无意识的行为；,主要取决于客观。,倾听,：,不仅获得信息,而且更加了解我们自己及我们的思维的途径；,需要技巧和实践；,积极,的和有意识的行为；,主要取决于主观意识。,2026/5/27 周三,13,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,Why Arent People Better Listeners?,Were always in a hurry;good listening takes time.,People think listening is boring;they had rather talk.,Were conditioned to listen passively,not actively,because of TV and radio.,2026/5/27 周三,14,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,Why Listen?,Poor listening results in millions of little time-wasting mistakes a day:wrong telephone number,wrong coffee order,etc.,Poor listening can cause liability lawsuits.,Listening is the central skill in,estab-lishing,and maintaining interpersonal relationships.,2026/5/27 周三,15,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,The Benefits of Better Listening-1,Increased knowledge;Job success;Improved interpersonal relations;Self-protection,Listening demonstrates acceptance,Listening promotes problem-solving abilities,2026/5/27 周三,16,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,The Benefits of Better Listening-2,Listening increases the speakers receptiveness to the thoughts and ideas of others.,Listening increases the self-esteem of the other person.,Listening helps you overcome self-consciousness.,2026/5/27 周三,17,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,An Inventory of Poor Listening Habits-1,Being preoccupied with talking,not listening.,Calling the subject uninteresting.,Letting bias or prejudice distort the messages you hear.,Oversimplifying answers or explanations.,2026/5/27 周三,18,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,An Inventory of Poor Listening Habits-2,Yielding to external distractions,Yielding to internal distractions,Avoiding difficult or demanding material,Rationalizing poor listening,Criticizing the speakers delivery,Jumping to conclusions,Getting over-stimulated,2026/5/27 周三,19,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,小 故 事,美国知名主持人“,林克莱特,”一天访问一名小朋友，,问他说：“你长大后想要当什么呀？”小朋友天真的回答：“我要当飞机的驾驶员！”,林克莱特接着问：“如果有一天，你的飞机飞到太平洋上空所有引擎都熄火了，你会怎么办？”小朋友想了说：“我会先告诉坐在飞机上的人绑好安全带，然后我挂上我的降落伞跳出去。”,在现场的观众笑的东倒西歪,而林克莱特继续注视这孩子，想看他是不是自作聪明的家伙。,没想到，接著孩子的两行热泪夺眶而出，这才使得林克莱特发觉这孩子的悲悯之情远非笔墨所能形容。,于是林克莱特问他说：“为甚么要这么做？”,孩子回答：“,我要去拿燃料，我还要回来,！”。,你真的听懂对方的话了吗？你是不是也习惯性地用自己的权威打断对方说话？,2026/5/27 周三,20,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,An Inventory of Poor Listening Habits-3,Assigning the wrong meaning to words,Listening only for the facts,Trying to make an outline of everything you hear,Faking attention to the speaker,Letting emotion-laden words throw us off track,2026/5/27 周三,21,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,An Inventory of Poor Listening Habits-4,Not Resisting the temptation to interrupt,Wasting the differential between the rate at which we speak and the rate at which we think,2026/5/27 周三,22,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,Developing Good Listening Skills-1,Stop talking!,One conversation at a time,Empathize with the person speaking,Ask questions,Dont interrupt,Show interest,Give your undivided attention,2026/5/27 周三,23,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,Developing Good Listening Skills-2,Evaluate facts and evidence,React to ideas,not to the speaker,Wishing doesnt make it so,Listen for what is,not,said,Share the responsibility for communi-cation,2026/5/27 周三,24,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,The Five Essential Skills of Active Listening(1),Active listening,Active listening is a way for the listener to relate back to the speaker exactly the total message received,that is,both the content and the feelings.It is a technique that lets the speaker either confirm or correct the feedback and,in the process,find a solution or resolution of the problem.,2026/5/27 周三,25,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,两种倾听方式,感谢式倾听,点头示意，附和的声音；跟随思路，鼓励继续，不被打扰,积极倾听,最高水准，难度大；,更多信息，更好理解和交流效果,激发讲话者和听众灵感，积极参与,积极心理活动,-,理解,反馈,澄清思想,激发补充,2026/5/27 周三,26,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,两段对话（,1,）,A:,您的车行驶了多少公里？,C:,每周大约,300-500,公里。,A:,在什么级别的公路上行驶？,C:,一般是柏油路。,A:,车速是多少？,C:,在限速内，持久不变。,A:,您车上经常带什么？,C:,平时是我自己，周末有父母和孩子。,2026/5/27 周三,27,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,两段对话（,2,）,A:,您刚才说您的车行驶了多少公里？,C:,我说每周大约,300-500,公里。,A:,我明白，就是说在平均的里程内。您一般在什么级别的公路上行驶？,C:,一般是在柏油路上，周末可能去一些道路条件不太好的地方，但这种情况不是经常性的。,A:,通常道路条件较好？,C:,是的，实际上我每天都要翻越一座小山。,A:,如果是这样，您的轮胎会磨损很快的，而且拐弯驾驶对您非常重要。,C:,绝对正确。,2026/5/27 周三,28,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,两段对话（,2,）,A:,通常您的车速有多快？,C:,我很遵守交通规则，通常在限速内。,A:,那样的话，我们不必要特别好的轮胎。通常您车上带什么？,C:,平时是我自己，周末父母及孩子一起郊游。,2026/5/27 周三,29,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,The Five Essential Skills of Active Listening(2)*,Paraphrase(interpret)others as they speak,Reflect feelings,Reflect meaning,Reflect conclusions,Follow through,2026/5/27 周三,30,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,解释,（用自己的词汇解释讲话者所讲的内容，从而检查自己的理解）,S:,我觉得很压抑，因为我自愿加班加点，尽了最大努力，按时完成了项目，但是好象人人都不赞同我。,Paraphrase:,L:,看上去你很失望，你没有得到足够的支持。,S:,是的，正是这样，并且,.,（激发，补充）,2026/5/27 周三,31,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,反射感觉,(,向对方表达你对他感受的认同,),S:,我真是厌烦极了。这项预算非常不精确，他们希望我严格管理。我花费大量的时间熟悉它们，发现错误，却耽误了我的工作。,L:,是的，真是够烦的。,S:,你别开玩笑，关键是还有许多事要做。我需要有人去做，我的大脑需要休息。,L:,听起来你确实厌烦极了。,S:,我建议,.,我宁愿,.,2026/5/27 周三,32,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,又如：,S:,这项增加销售的计划没有任何实质性的建议。,L:,听起来你很不顺利。,S:,是的，这个问题一直在谈论却没有行动。我们不该有个基本原则吗？我认为早就应订下基本原则了。,2026/5/27 周三,33,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,反馈意思,（把讲话者所说的内容、事实简要概括）,S:,你不在时发生了许多事情。李撞了车，需要几天才能治好；王患了感冒；张扭伤了脚踝。此外，我们必须有一份临时计划，不知谁故意把我们的主要文件弄丢了。你回来了我真高兴。,L:,听起来你做了大量工作，而且一直忙到现在，对吗？,S:,我要说的是，如果由我自己来做，我会把一切管理得井井有条，并且我已经在做了。,2026/5/27 周三,34,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,大胆的设想,（从讲话者的角度大胆的设想）,S:,我真不知道该如何选择，每项活动都有赞成和反对两种意见，而且反映都很强烈。,L:,如果我处在你的位置上，我想我宁愿慢些做出决定，以免得罪某一方。,S:,是的,.,我想我需要更多的信息，或许应该再收集一些意见，向有这方面经验的人请教。,2026/5/27 周三,35,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,又如：,管理者：我需要这些报告是为了能够按时完成任务。,雇员：我们恐怕不能满足您，任何人都是我的老板。,管理者：我想这一定为难你了。,雇员：这仅仅是,.,2026/5/27 周三,36,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,综合处理,（把讲话者的几种想法综合为一种想法）,S:,第一件事主要是政策改变，没有人能预言；第二件事是我们最好的一个技术员辞职了；第三件事是这个项目的最后期限到了，我建议检查一下，看看我们应该做些什么？,L:,你的意思是有一系列的障碍使得我们这个项目的完成更加困难了。,S:,你别开玩笑，我认为最关键的是政策的变化，如果政策不变，我们会有机会。,L:,好象你觉得一切都失去了。,S:,不是所有都失去，而是我们肯定还会有机会。,2026/5/27 周三,37,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,Effective Listening,Whatever the purpose,concentration and a deliberate effort to be interested in the speakers message,will increase listening effectiveness.,Guidelines for better listening:,1.Listen for the whole meaning,2.Watch for signals,3.Concentrate,4.Resist distractions,5.Avoid premature judgments,2026/5/27 周三,38,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,(Continued),6.,Keep your objectivity,7.Use the time lag,Listening Skills:,Attending listening,Encouraging Listening,Reflecting listening,Active listening,2026/5/27 周三,39,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,善于倾听：服务型领导的基础（,2,）,积极的措辞,继续讲，你说得对。,继续说。,我很高兴你提到那一点。,我们该如何做呢？,有趣的想法。,让我们试一试。,杀伤性措辞,这个想法的问题是,想法不错，但是,你没有考虑到,我们以前试过了。,你没有理解问题是什么,有他人试过吗,?,2026/5/27 周三,40,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,情景模拟训练,speaker 1,listerner 1,observer 1-2,“Wei MC p.187”,2026/5/27 周三,41,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,A System for Improving Your Listening Habits,Review your listening inventory,Recognize your undesirable listening habits,Refuse to tolerate undesirable habits,Replace undesirable habits with effective ones,2026/5/27 周三,42,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,Guidelines for Constructive Feedback-1,Acknowledge the need for feedback,Give both positive and negative feedback,Understand the context,Provide definitions,Use a common language,Dont assume,2026/5/27 周三,43,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,Guidelines for Constructive Feedback-2,Focus on behavior rather than people,Know when to give feedback,Know how to give feedback,2026/5/27 周三,44,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,Developing Effective Feedback Skills(1),Focus on specific behaviors,Avoid such statements as:“You have a bad attitude”or“Im really impressed with the good job you did”.Your feedback could be something like this:“Jeff,Im concerned with your attitude towards your work.You were half an hour late for yesterdays staff meeting and then you told me you hadnt read the preliminary report we were discussing.Today you tell me,2026/5/27 周三,45,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,(2),youre taking off three hours early for a dental appointment”;or“Susan,I was really pleased with the job you did on the Phillips account.They increased their purchases from us by 22 per cent last month,and I got a call a few days ago from Dan Phillips complimenting me on how quickly you responded to those specification changes for the MJ-7 microchip.”,2026/5/27 周三,46,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,(3),Keep feedback impersonal,Feedback,particularly the negative kind,should be descriptive rather than judgmental or evaluative,.,Keep feedback goal-oriented,Feedback should not be given primarily to“dump”or“unload”on another.,Make feedback well-timed,Feedback is most meaningful to a recipient when there is a very short interval between his or her behavior and the receipt of feedback about that behavior,.,2026/5/27 周三,47,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,(4),Ensure understanding,Direct negative feedback towards behavior that the recipient can control,There is little value in reminding a person of some shortcoming over which he or she has no control.,2026/5/27 周三,48,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,Knowing When Not to Give Feedback,-1,You dont know much about the circum-stances of the behavior.,You dont care about the person or will not be around long enough to follow up on the aftermath of your feedback.,The feedback,positive or negative,is about something the person has no power to change.,2026/5/27 周三,49,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,Knowing When Not to Give Feedback,-2,The other person seems low in self-esteem.,You are low in self-esteem.,Your purpose is not really improvement,but to put someone on the spot or show how smart you are.,The time,place,or circumstances are inappropriate.,2026/5/27 周三,50,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,Knowing How to Give Effective Feedback-1,Be descriptive.,Be objective.,Dont use labels.,Dont exaggerate.,Dont be judgmental.,Speak for yourself.,2026/5/27 周三,51,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,Knowing How to Give Effective Feedback-2,Talk first about yourself,not about the other person.,Phrase the issue as a statement,not as a question.,Encourage people to change.,Restrict your feedback to things you know for certain.,2026/5/27 周三,52,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,Knowing How to Give Effective Feedback-3,Build trust.,Help people hear and accept your compliments when giving positive feedback.,2026/5/27 周三,53,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,Knowing How to Receive Feedback-1,Breathe.,Listen carefully.,Ask questions for clarity.,Acknowledge the feedback.,Acknowledge valid points.,2026/5/27 周三,54,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,Knowing How to Receive Feedback-2,Dont be defensive.,Try to understand the other persons objectives.,Take time out to sort out what you heard.,2026/5/27 周三,55,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,“,I”messages,Two-part“I”,message,Three-part“I”,message,Four-part“I”,message,Feelings,Feelings,Feelings,+,+,+,Behavior,Behavior,Behavior,+,+,Effects,Effects,+,Accpt,alter,beh,.,+,2026/5/27 周三,56,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,Exercise,Work in pairs.Read each statement aloud with what you think is the appropriate tone and inflection.Distinguish between the“I”message and the non-“I”message.,(1)I feel angry when my conversation is cut off.,(2)I find it hard to work when you stand and look over my shoulder.,(3)Im unable to work with you constantly insisting on leaning over my shoulder and upsetting me.,2026/5/27 周三,57,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,(continued),(4),I feel angry when you interrupt because youre more interested in other things.,(5)You always look after yourself.What about my needs?,(6)Youre always late and that makes it so hard for us.,(7)I missed you when you were late this morning.,(8)You keep me waiting because you dont care about me.,Reframe the non-“I”message as“I”message.,2026/5/27 周三,58,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,(continued),One of your colleagues frequently makes remarks about how carefully and slowly you think before making a contribution at staff meetings.Even though these comments appear to be a joke,you feel others hearing them are starting to label you as slow.Youve had enough of the comments.,2026/5/27 周三,59,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,(cont.),Write a two-part“I”message using the two-part formula to:,state your feelings,describe the behavior,(2)Change your two-part“I”message into a three-part“I”message using the three-part formula.,A three-part formula example:“I feel annoyed when you do not let me know you will be late because I am unable to re-schedule my timetable.”,2026/5/27 周三,60,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,(cont.),Think of a person whom you regard as a good listener,and one who is a poor listener.Identify three aspects of the their listening techniques that make them either a good listener or a poor listener.,2026/5/27 周三,61,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,(cont.),Self-Assessment,How good are your listening skills?Rate yourself on each of the following elements of good listening;then examine your ratings to identify where you are strongest and where you can improve,using the tips in this chapter.,2026/5/27 周三,62,Guo Zhiwen(C)Copyright 2002,