有关离异家庭子女心理问题产生的家庭影响因素及其教育对策的探析中英文对照.doc

有关离异家庭子女心理问题产生的家庭影响因素及其教育对策的探析中英文对照
Influence of family psychological problems of children from divorced family of factors and Educational Countermeasures in Chinese and English
当前，随着我国离婚率急剧上升，离异家庭子女日益增多，他们的心理健康问题已成为社会普遍关注的热点问题。离异家庭子女在父母离婚后会表现出一系列心理问题，如情绪情感障碍、适应性差、性格缺陷、学习困难、社会性发展不良等。这些心理问题的产生有其多方面的原因，其中家庭影响因素起着举足轻重的作用。要使离异家庭子女同完整家庭子女一样健康成长，关键还在于弥补业已缺损的家庭教育。
At present, with China's soaring divorce rate, divorced families are increasing, their psychological health problem has become a hot social issue of common concern. The children of divorced families will show a series of psychological problems after the divorce of his parents, such as emotional disorder, poor adaptability, character flaws, learning difficulties, poor social development. These problems have many causes, which play a decisive role of family influence factors. To make the children in divorced families with the whole family children grow up healthy, the key is to make up for the defect is the family education.
　　关键词：离异家庭；父母；子女；心理问题；家庭教育
Keywords: divorced family; parents; children; psychological problems; family education
　　离异家庭子女是由于父母婚姻破裂而导致家庭解体后出现的一种特殊的社会现象。中华全国妇女联合会公布的数据称，我国每年离婚的夫妻保持在120万对左右。可以说，平均每分钟就有一起离婚案。而据统计，我国的离婚数量仍在以每年20％左右的速度递增。一般地讲，一个国家的离婚率越高，离异家庭子女也就越多，其对社会的消极作用也就越大。有调查发现，54％的犯罪青少年是因父母离异而造成品德不良。父母离婚对未成年子女来说无疑是一场灾难，要把这场灾难可能给子女造成的心理创伤减轻到最低限度，以至化消极因素为积极因素，必须有针对性地对这些子女采取必要的心理保健和教育措施，而家庭教育在其中起着举足轻重的作用。
The children of divorced families is a special social phenomenon caused by the disintegration of the family after the parents divorce. The All-China Women's Federation released data, China's annual divorcing couples maintained at around 1200000 on the. Can say, average every minute divorce. According to statistics, the number of divorce in China is still increasing at a rate of 20% per year. Generally speaking, a country's divorce rate is high, the children of divorced families are also more, its negative effects on society have more. A survey found, 54% of the people will be because parents divorced due to bad. The divorce of the parents of a minor child is a disaster, to reduce the disaster may give children the psychological trauma caused to a minimum, and even turn negative factors into positive factors, should be targeted to take necessary psychological care and education measures for the children, and family education play a decisive role in the among them.
　　一、离异家庭子女的心理问题
The psychological problems of children from divorced family,
　　(一)情绪情感障碍
( a ) emotional disorder
　　由于离异家庭子女对父母离婚的不理解和长期郁结在内心的对一方父母的怨恨，使他们的情绪很不稳定，往往一触即发，主要表现为发脾气、摔玩具、不愿意与人交往、睡眠也不安稳，亲子之间冲突加剧等。而出现情绪问题的诱因也往往只是一些生活琐事。
Due to the divorce of parents of children in divorced families do not understand and long-term stagnation in the heart of a parent 's resentment, their mood is very unstable, often be triggered at any moment, mainly for the temper, broken toys, and not willing to communicate with people, sleep is not stable, parent-child conflict intensified. And cause emotional problems is often only some life trivia.
　　(二)适应性差
( two ) the poor adaptability
　　父母离异后，儿童随父亲或母亲过着单亲生活，他们很难适应家庭的这种突变，心理会处在一种严重的失衡状态，表现出极度的愤恨和绝望。有研究表明，家庭解体后，儿童都有一个较长时间的心理适应期，一般要经过2～3年或3～5年的时间。这一心理适应期大体可以分为六个阶段：愤怒、痛苦阶段；盲目乐观阶段；流动、出走阶段；终日忙碌、闭门不出阶段；渴望、思索阶段；获得新生阶段。如果承担抚养子女的一方父／母，离异后能够及时调整自己，尽快给孩子创设一个温暖的家庭环境，孩子的适应期可以缩短。而如果承担抚养子女的一方父／母，离异后不能很好地调整自己，经常表现出对离异对方的忌恨、诅咒，情绪消沉、喜怒无常或借酒消愁等，那么他们的子女所遭受的心理折磨比夫妻当事人还要严重几倍。比如，有的孩子索性离家出走，甚至产生轻生的念头。一般来说，夫妻离异后，失去父爱的男孩比女孩的心理创伤严重。他们失去了男性特有的教育影响，会产生强烈的失落感，甚至会延缓性别社会化的进程。
After his parents divorced, children with the father or mother lived a single life, they are very difficult to adapt to the family of the mutation, psychology will be in a serious imbalance, showing extreme anger and despair. Research has shown that, the disintegration of the family, meet the children have a long time psychological, generally after 2 ~ 3 or 3 ~ 5 years. The psychological adaptation period can be divided into six stages: anger, pain stage; blindly optimistic phase; flow, leaving stage; busy all the time, keep close at home, thinking to stage; stage; a new stage. If take the party to raise children the father / mother, divorced can adjust their own, as soon as possible for children to create a warm family environment, children's adaptation period can be shortened. If the bear of the party to raise children the father / mother, divorced and not well adjust themselves, often show divorced each other 's jealousy, curse, depression, be subject to changing moods or sorrows-drowning, so their children suffered psychological torture than couples party also serious times. For example, some children simply run away, and even suicidal thoughts. In general, the couple divorced, lost boys than girls love severe psychological trauma. They lost the education influence male, will have a strong sense of loss, and even delay the gender socialization process.
　　(三)性格缺陷
( three ) character flaws
　　离异家庭子女容易产生的性格缺陷主要有：
Character defect children in divorced families prone to include:
　　1　自卑。因父母离异而产生自卑感的孩子总觉得自己低人一等，处处不如他人，容易导致自卑情结，进而在自我评价中经常伴随着消极的情绪体验，如不安、内疚、胆怯、害羞、忧伤、失望等。随着年龄的增长，在生活道路上再次经历挫折(如学习成绩差，升学无望，家庭关系剧变等)时，则自卑情结很容易被重新唤起。若经常沉浸在这种自卑情结的痛苦之中，就会形成自卑性格。
1 inferiority. Because their parents divorced and have a sense of inferiority children feel inferior, you are not as good as others, easily lead to inferiority complex, then the self-evaluation, often accompanied by negative emotions, such as anxiety, guilt, fear, shy, sad, disappointed. Along with the growth of the age, experience setbacks in life on the road again ( such as poor academic performance, school hopeless, family relationships change etc.), the inferiority complex is very easy to be recalled. If often immersed in the inferiority complex pain, will create inferiority personality.
　　2　孤僻。强烈的自卑感使离异家庭子女不能自如地与他人交往，唯恐被他人轻视和排斥。当恐惧感超过亲近他人的欲望时，就会压抑自己的欲望，对他人采取冷漠的态度。为了避免孤独，他们往往在想像的世界中创造出一个“朋友”来，并把“他(或她)”当成真实的朋友去对待。被孤独的阴影笼罩着的儿童，心中充满孤寂、愁苦与被遗弃的感觉，与外界环境就会越来越疏远。如果父母整天陷于“内战”，心绪烦乱，教育方式不当，或已重建家庭而放弃教育责任，对孩子放任自流，不管不顾，任其发展下去，孩子将会形成不合群、独来独往的孤僻性格。
2 eccentric. A strong sense of inferiority make children in divorced families cannot interact with others freely, lest be contempt and rejection. When fear more than close to the desires of others, will suppress their desires, to take the attitude of indifference to others. In order to avoid alone, they are often in the world of imagination to create a " friend", and " he ( or she ) " as a true friend to treat. To be lonely shadow hangs over the children, hearts full of sorrow and loneliness, the feeling of abandonment, and the external environment will become more and more estranged. If the parents all day in a " civil war ", upset, improper education, or has been rebuilding family and give up the responsibility of education, be careless with the children, follow one's own inclination, unchecked, the children will form is not gregarious, have no contact with anyone solitary.
　　3　怯懦。意志薄弱的离异家庭子女易形成怯懦性格。他们胆小怕事，容易屈从他人，无反抗精神，在困难面前惊惶失措，感情脆弱，经不住挫折和打击等。夫妻离异后，往往把希望寄托在子女身上，对孩子管教严格，使孩子望而生畏，总是担心自己使父亲或母亲失望，时时体验着恐惧的情绪。此外，同伴的讥笑和轻视，也会使离异家庭子女造成严重的心理创伤，表现出抑郁和退缩。
3 cowardice. Will divorce family weak children easy to form the cowardly character. They are timid and overcautious, easy to others, without the spirit of resistance, be thrown into a panic, in the face of difficulties, affection weakness, could not resist the setback and the attack. The couple divorced, often put their hopes on their children, strict on child discipline, make the child terrified, always worry about the father or mother down, from time to time to experience the emotion of fear. In addition, peer ridicule and despise, also can make the children of divorced families caused serious psychological trauma, showed depression and retraction.
　　4　粗暴。在不和睦的家庭中，家庭成员之间经常争吵、打闹，极易使子女产生冷酷、悲戚的心情，并由此导致惊慌、恐惧、心绪不定，长此下去，就会形成粗暴的性格。父母对孩子的体罚及攻击行为，易引起孩子对父母及社会的攻击和破坏，特别是那些父母另有新欢后被虐待、遗弃的子女更是如此，即所谓“暴力的结果必然产生暴力”。
4 rough. In a dysfunctional family, family members often quarrel, fight, easy to make children's cold, sad mood, and thus lead to panic, fear, restless, if things go on like this, will form a tough character. The parents of the child's physical and aggressive behavior, easy to cause the attack and damage to the parents and society of children, especially those parents have another is mistreated, abandoned children is even more so, the so-called " violence will result in violent ".
　　(四)学习困难
( four ) learning difficulties
　　离异家庭子女情绪的变化，必然会给学习带来困难。这是学习困难产生的内在因素。对儿童来说，他们的学习在一定程度上依赖于父母的督促和帮助，自觉性较差，而父母离异后，儿童多半无人管教，这是造成学习困难的外在因素。因此，大部分离异家庭子女在学习成绩上明显不如完整家庭的子女。已有的调查表明，许多离异家庭子女经常无故旷课、扰乱课堂秩序，作业马马虎虎，抄袭别人，甚至不完成作业，所以，他们中的不少人逐渐成为班级里的差生。
Emotional changes of children in divorced families, will bring difficulty to the study. This is the intrinsic factor to produce learning difficulties. For children, they are learning to a certain extent, depend on the parents urge and help the poor, self-consciousness, and after his parents divorced, most troubled children, which is caused by external factors of learning difficulties. Therefore, the majority of children in divorced families in academic achievement than the complete family of children. The survey shows that, many children of divorced families often absenteeism, disrupt the class, homework careless, copying other people, don't even finish the homework, so, many of them become poor students in the class.
　　(五)社会性发展不良
( five ) the social development of non-performing
　　离异家庭子女社会性发展不良，突出表现在同伴关系、亲子关系等人际关系上。他们行为表现的反应较为被动，包容需求比较倾向于期待他人接近自己，支配需求比较倾向于期待他人引导自己，感情需求比较倾向于期待他人对自己表示亲密，特别是当他们产生自卑、孤独、压抑等消除情绪时，这种倾向就会表现得更为强烈。当然，当这种被动需求得不到满足时，他们的人际关系需求也会向主动方向转化，但这种转化更多的只是局限在意向上，而不是那么强烈地表现在行动上。
Children of divorced families in social development, outstanding performance in the peer relationships, parent-child relationship and interpersonal relationship. Their behavior was relatively passive, inclusive demand tend to expect others to yourself, control demand tend to expect others to guide them, emotional needs tend to expect others to their intimacy, especially when they have low self-esteem, loneliness, depression, eliminate the emotional, this tendency will be more strong. Of course, when this passive needs are not met, their relationship will be transformed to active direction, but this transformation more confined in the intention, but not so strong in action.
　　二、离异家庭子女心理问题产生的家庭影响因素
Family factors produced two offspring from divorced families, psychological problems
　　家庭是社会的细胞，是儿童接受教育的第一所学校。美满幸福、和谐友爱的家庭，不仅是社会安定的基础，而且也是儿童身心健康的保障。离异家庭子女的心理发展之所以受到严重的阻遏，直接的原因就是夫妻离异使得家庭解体，从而使儿童不得不生活在一个破裂的不完整的单亲家庭里。家庭缺损必定带来家庭教育的缺损，具体表现在以下几点：
Family is the cell of society, is the first school for children's education. Happy, harmonious family, is not only the foundation of social stability, but also the guarantee of children's physical and mental health. Children from divorced family psychological development is severe repression, the direct reason is the couple divorced makes the disintegration of the family, so the children have to live in a broken incomplete single-parent family. Family defect will surely bring the defect of family education, the specific performance in the following:
　　　(一)离异父母情感教育的缺失 　 有些离异的父亲或者母亲虽然在离婚时力争对子女的抚养权，但却往往是为了不让对方得逞，或将孩子视为“人质”，通过控制孩子来报复对方。在这样的家庭中，父亲或母亲常常对孩子过于严厉，百般挑剔，动辄指责孩子的某个缺点，很少对孩子的痛苦和孤独加以慰藉，甚至将自己生活的不顺都归罪于对方和孩子。儿童在这样的环境里，不可能获得积极的成长动力，也不可能正确地看待和应对自己的处境，思想感情和道德认知会产生严重缺陷。
( a ) the lack of emotional education some divorced parents divorced mother or father although at the time of divorce and custody of their children, but often is not to let each other succeed, or will the child as " hostage ", in retaliation for each other through the control of children. In such families, the father or the mother often to children is too harsh, picky, frequently accused a disadvantage children, rarely on the child's pain and loneliness to comfort, and even their lives not blame each other and children. Children in such an environment, can not grow actively, is also not possible to correctly treat and deal with their situation, thoughts and feelings and the moral cognition will have a serious defect.
　　(二)离异父母教育方式的极端化
( two ) the extreme divorced parents education way
　　1　过分溺爱。父母在离异后，觉得有愧于子女，于是就把更多的爱都倾注在子女身上，在教育上放松了要求，在行为上过分溺爱，对孩子的事包办代替，生活上有求必应；犯错误时舍不得批评，孩子不肯上进时总有借口，“谁叫他缺少父爱(或母爱)呢”。天真、幼小的孩子，最需要父母经常性的正确教育和引导，但是由于过分的溺爱，儿童常常是在不知道错还是对的心理状态下干自己想干的一切，无法成为一个明辨是非、有责任感的人。
1 too much. Parents divorced, feel so sorry for the children, then put more love in their children in education, relax requirements, behavior in too much, do evevthing on behalf of sb. To him, life grant whatever is requested; make a mistake not criticism, the child refused to do always have an excuse, " who call him the lack of fatherly love (or parents ) ". Naive, young children, and most in need of the right of parents to educate and guide often, but because of too much love, children are often do not know right or wrong psychological state do everything you want to do, can not become a distinguish between truth and falsehood, responsible person.
　　2　放任自流。这一类父母大多对孩子缺乏责任感，漠不关心。虽然他们也声称自己爱孩子，然而事实上缺乏真正的爱。他们很少过问孩子的学习，认为孩子的成长是他自己的事，孩子会自己克服困难。这类家长与溺爱孩子的家长一样是走向了另一个极端。
2 follow one's own inclination. This kind of parents most of the children lack a sense of responsibility, be indifferent to. Although they claim to love their children, but the fact is the lack of true love. They rarely ask children to learn, think the child is his own things, the child will overcome their difficulties. This kind of parents and doting parents is moving toward the other extreme.
　　(三)离异父母不正确的教育心理
( three ) divorced parents incorrect educational psychology
　　有些父母在离异前就缺乏独立精神和职业目标，离异后，又失去了对对方的依赖，所以，他们就会把孩子变成自己生活的唯一目标，而这样会使孩子的心理负担过重，压力过大，影响孩子的心理发展。“望子成龙”、“望女成凤”是中国父母普遍的心态。离异的父母更是把希望寄托在孩子的成才上。这种渴望子女成才的急切心态，往往会导致态度简单、粗暴和生硬。态度生硬，批评过多，会导致孩子出现情感障碍及逆反心理、恐惧心理，甚至拒绝父母任何合理的要求。而这些心理问题往往又会恶性循环，影响孩子正常的成长。(四)离异父母性别角色社会化的残缺
Some parents lack the spirit of independence and occupation target, in the divorce of divorced, and lost rely on, on the other side of it, they would put the child into his only goal in life, and it will make the child's psychological burden, the pressure is too large, affect the child's psychological development. " Family resemblance", " women look into the Phoenix " is the Chinese parents general mentality. The parents are pinning their hopes on a child's success. This desire to children learning urgent mentality, often leads to simple, rough and stiff attitude. Blunt, too much criticism, will cause children appear affective disorder and rebellious psychology, fear, and even refused to parents any reasonable request. These psychological problems often vicious spiral, affect children's normal growth. ( four ) the divorced parents and sex role socialization.
　　很多夫妻离异后，承担抚养子女的一方往往都千方百计阻止对方与孩子往来。但是，父母双方在儿童社会化过程中的角色功能是不可相互替代的。特别是在儿童性别角色社会化的过程中，儿童是通过与自己性别相同的一方父／母的认同来完成的。一方父／母角色的长期缺失，可能会对孩子的双性化人格的平衡，各种不同兴趣、能力与思维方式的发展产生不良影响。
Many couples divorced, bear the party to raise children t