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控制好你内心的心流演讲稿
eveensler:embraceyourinnergirlgoodmorning.i'mveryhappytobehereinindia.andi'vebeenthinkingalotaboutwhatihavelearnedovertheselastparticularly11yearswithv-dayand"thevaginamonologues,"travelingtheworld,essentiallymeetingwithwomenandgirlsacrosstheplanettostopviolenceagainstwomen.
whatiwanttotalkabouttodayisisthisparticularcell,orgroupingofcells,thatisineachandeveryoneofus.andiwanttocallitthegirlcell.andit'sinmenaswellasinwomen.iwantyoutoimaginethatthisparticulargroupingofcellsiscentraltotheevolutionofourspeciesandthecontinuationofthehumanrace.
andiwantyouimaginethatatsomepointinhistoryagroupofpowerfulpeopleinvestedinowningandcontrollingtheworldunderstoodthatthesuppressionofthisparticularcell,theoppressionofthesecells,thereinterpretationofthesecells,theunderminingofthesecells,gettingustobelieveintheweaknessofthesecellsandthecrushing,eradicating,destroying,reducingthesecells,basicallybegantheprocessofkillingoffthegirlcell,whichwas,bytheway,patriarchy.
iwantyoutoimaginethatthegirlisachipinthehugemacrocosmofcollectiveconsciousness.anditisessentialtobalance,towisdom,andtoactuallythefutureofallofus.andtheniwantyoutoimaginethatthisgirlcelliscompassion,andit'sempathy,andit'spassionitself,andit'svulnerability,andit'sopennessandit'sintensityandit'sassociation,andit'srelationship,anditisintuitive.
andthenlet'sthinkhowcompassioninformswisdom,andthatvulnerabilityisourgreateststrength,andthatemotionshaveinherentlogic,whichleadtoradical,appropriate,savingaction.andthenlet'srememberthatwe'vebeentaughttheexactoppositebythepowersthatbe,thatcompassioncloudsyourthinking,thatitgetsintheway,thatvulnerabilityisweakness,thatemotionsarenottobetrusted,andyou'renotsupposedtotakethingspersonally,whichisoneofmyfavorites.
ithinkthewholeworldhasessentiallybeenbroughtupnottobeagirl.howdowebringupboys。whatdoesitmeantobeaboy。tobeaboyreallymeansnottobeagirl.tobeamanmeansnottobeagirl.tobeawomanmeansnottobeagirl.tobestrongmeansnottobeagirl.tobealeadermeansnottobeagirl.iactuallythinkthatbeingagirlissopowerfulthatwe'vehadtotraineveryonenottobethat.(laughter)
andi'dalsoliketosaythattheironyofcourse,isthatdenyinggirl,suppressinggirl,suppressingemotion,refusingfeelinghasleadthushere.wherewehavenowcometoliveinaworldwherethemostextremeformsofviolencethemosthorrificpoverty,genocide,massrapes,thedestructionoftheearth,iscompletelyoutofcontrol.andbecausewehavesuppressedourgirlcells,andsuppressedourgirl-ship,wedonotfeelwhatisgoingon.so,wearenotbeingchargedwiththeadequateresponsetowhatishappening.iwanttotalkalittlebitaboutthedemocraticrepublicofcongo.forme,itwastheturningpointofmylife.ihavespentalotoftimethereinthelastthreeyears.ifeeluptothatpointihadseenalotintheworld,alotofviolence.
iessentiallylivedintherapeminesoftheworldforthelast12years.butthedemocraticrepublicofcongoreallywastheturningpointinmysoul.iwentandispenttimeinaplacecalledbukavuinahospitalcalledthepanzihospital,withadoctorwhowasaclosetoasaintasanypersoni'veevermet.hisnameisdr.denismukwege.and,inthecongo,forthoseofyouwhodon'tknow,therehasbeenawarragingforthelast12years,awarthathaskillednearlysixmillionpeople.itisestimatedthatsomewherebetween300,000and500,000womenhavebeenrapedthere.
whenispentmyfirstweeksatpanzihospitalisatwithwomenwhosatandlinedupeverydaytotellmetheirstories.andtheirstoriesweresohorrificandsomind-blowing,andsoontheothersideofhumanexistence,thattobeperfectlyhonestwithyou,iwasshattered.andiwilltellyouthatwhathappened,isthroughthatshattering,listeningtothestoriesofeight-year-oldgirlswhohadtheirinsideseviscerated,whohadgunsandbayonetsandthingsshovedinsidethemsotheyhadholes,literally,insidethemwheretheirpeeandpoopcameoutofthem.
listeningtothestoryof80-year-oldwomenwhoweretiedtochainsandcircled,andwheregroupsofmenwouldcomeandrapethemperiodically,allinthenameofeconomicexploitationtostealthemineralssothewestcanhaveitandprofitfromthem.mymindwassoshattered.
butwhathappenedformeisthatthatshatteringactuallyemboldenedmeinawayihaveneverbeenemboldened.thatshattering,thatopeningofmygirlcell,thatkindofmassivebreakthroughofmyheartallowedmetobecomemorecourageousandbraver,andactuallymorecleverthanihadbeeninthepastinmylife.
andiwanttosaythatithinkthepowersthatbeknowthatempirebuildingisactuallythatfeelingsgetinthewayofempirebuilding.feelingsgetinthewayofthemassacquisitionoftheearth,andexcavatingtheearth,anddestroyingthings.iremember,forexamplewhenmyfather,whowasveryveryviolent,usedtobeatme.andhewouldactuallysay,whilehewasbeatingme,"don'tyoucry.don'tyoudarecry."becausemycryingsomehowexposedhisbrutalitytohim.andeveninthemomenthedidn'twanttoberemindedofwhathewasdoing.
iknowthatwehavesystematicallyannihilatedthegirlcell.andiwanttosaywe'veannihilateditinmenaswellasinwomen.andithinkinsomewayswe'vebeenmuchharshertomenintheannihilationoftheirgirlcell.(applause)iseehowboyshavebeenbroughtup,andiseethisacrosstheplanet,tobetough,tobehardened,todistancethemselvesfromtheirtenderness,tonotcry.iactuallyrealizedonceinkosovo,wheniwatchedamanbreakdown,thatbulletsareactuallyhardenedtears,thatwhenwedon'tallowmentohavetheirgirlselfandhavetheirvulnerability,andhavetheircompassion,andhavetheirhearts,thattheybecomehardenedandhurtfulandviolent.
andithinkwehavetaughtmentobesecurewhentheyareinsecure,topretendtheyknowthingswhentheydon'tknowthings,orwhywouldwebewhereweare。topretendthey'renotamesswhentheyareamess.andiwilltellyouaveryfunnystory.onmywayhereontheairplane,iwaswalkingupanddowntheisleoftheplane.andallthesemen,literallyatleast10menwereintheirlittleseatswatchingchickflicks.andtheywereallalone,andithought,"thisisthesecretlifeofmen."(laughter)
i'vetraveled,asisaid,tomanymanycountries,andi'veseen,ifwedowhatwedotothegirlinsideusthenobviouslyit'shorrifictothinkwhatwedotogirlsintheworld.andweheardfromsunithayesterday,andkavitaaboutwhatwedotogirls.butijustwanttosaythati'vemetgirlswithknifewoundsandcigaretteburns,whoareliterallybeingtreatedlikeashtrays.i'veseengirlsbetreatedlikegarbagecans.i'veseengirlswhowerebeatenbytheirmothers,andbrothersandfathersanduncles.i'veseengirlsstarvingthemselvestodeathinamericaininstitutionstolooklikesomeidealizedversionofthemselves.i'veseenthatwecutgirlsandwecontrolthemandwekeepthemilliterate,orwemakethemfeelbadaboutbeingtoosmart.wesilencethem.wemakethemfeelguiltyforbeingsmart.wegetthemtobehave,totoneitdown,nottobetoointense.wesellthem,wekillthemasembryos.weenslavethem.werapethem.wearesoaccustomedtorobbinggirlsofthesubjectofbeingthesubjectsoftheirlivesthatwehavenowactuallyobjectifiedthemandturnedthemintocommodities.
thesellingofgirlsisrampantacrosstheplanet.andinmanyplacestheyareworthlessthangoatsandcows.butialsowanttotalkaboutthefactthatifoneineightpeopleontheplanetaregirlsbetweentheagesof10to24,theyaretheykey,really,inthedevelopingworld,aswellasinthewholeworld,tothefutureofhumanity.andifgirlsareintroublebecausetheyfacesystematicdisadvantagesthatkeepthemwheresocietywantsthemtobe,includinglackofaccesstohealthcare,education,healthyfoods,laborforceparticipation.theburdenofallthehouseholdtasksusuallyfallsongirlsandyoungersiblings.whichensuresthattheywillneverovercomethesebarriers.
thestateofgirls,theconditionofgirls,will,inmybelief,andthat'sthegirlinsideusandthegirlintheworld,determinewhetherthespeciessurvives.andwhatiwanttosuggestisthat,havingtalkedtogirls,becauseijustfinishedanewbookcalled"iamanemotionalcreature:thesecretlifeofgirlsaroundtheworld,"i'vebeentalkingtogirlsforfiveyears,andoneofthethingsthati'veseenistrueeverywhereisthattheverbthat'sbeenenforcedongirlistheverb"toplease."girlsaretrainedtoplease.iwanttochangetheverb.iwantusalltochangetheverb.iwanttheverbtobe"educate"or"activate"or"engage"or"confront"or"defy"or"create."ifweteachgirlstochangetheverbwewillactuallyenforcethegirlinsideusandthegirlinsidethem.
andihavetonowshareafewstoriesofgirlsi'veseenacrosstheplanetwhohaveengagedtheirgirl,whohavetakenontheirgirlinspiteofallthecircumstancesaroundthem.iknowa14yearoldgirlinthenetherlands,forexample,whoisdemandingthatshetakeaboatandgoaroundtheentireworldbyherself.
thereisateenagegirlwhojustrecentlywentoutandknewthatsheneeded56starstattooedontherightsideofherface.
thereisagirl,juliabutterflyhill,wholivedforayearinatreebecauseshewantedtoprotectthewildoaks.
thereisagirlwhoimet14yearsagoinafghanistanwhoihaveadoptedasmydaughterbecausehermotherwaskilled.hermotherwasarevolutionary.andthisgirl,whenshewas17yearsoldworeaburqainafghanistan,andwentintothestadiumsanddocumentedtheatrocitiesthatweregoingontowardswomen,underneathherburqa,withavideo.andthatvideobecamethevideothatwentoutallovertheworldafter9/11toshowwhatwasgoingoninafghanistan.
iwanttotalkaboutrachelcorriewhowasinherteenswhenshestoodinfrontofanisraelitanktosay"endtheoccupation."andsheknewsheriskeddeathandshewasliterallygunneddownandrolledoverbythattank.
andiwanttotalkaboutagirlthatijustmetrecentlyinbukavu,whowasimpregnatedbyherrapist.andshewasholdingherbaby.andiaskedherifshelovedherbaby.andshelookedintoherbaby'seyesandshesaid,"ofcourseilovemybaby.howcouldinotlovemybaby。it'smybabyandit'sfulloflove."
thecapacityforgirlstoovercomesituationsandtomoveonlevels,tome,ismind-blowing.andthereisagirlnameddorcas.andijustmetherinkenya.anddorcasis15yearsoldandshewastrainedinself-defense.andafewmonthsagoshewaspickeduponthestreetbythreeoldermen.theykidnappedher,theyputherinacar.andthroughherselfdefense,shegrabbedtheiradam'sapples,shepunchedthemintheeyes,andshegotherselffreeandoutofthecar.
inkenya,inaugustiwenttovisitoneofthev-daysafehousesforgirls,ahouseweopenedsevenyearsagowithanamazingwomannamedagnespareyio.agneswasawomanwhowascutwhenshewasalittlegirl,shewasfemalegenitallymutilated.andshemadeadecisionasmanywomendo,acrossthisplanet,thatwhatwasdonetoherwouldnotbeenforcedanddonetootherwomenandgirls.
so,foryearsagneswalkedthroughtheriftvalley.shetaughtgirlswhatahealthyvaginalookedlike,andwhatamutilatedvaginalookedlike.andinthattimeshesavedmanygirls.andwhenwemetherweaskedherwhatwecoulddoforher,andshesaid,"well,ifyougotmeajeepicouldgetaroundalotfaster."so,wegotherajeep.andthenshesaved4,500girls.
andthenweaskedher,"okay,whatelsedoyouneed。"andshesaid,"well,now,ineedahouse."so,sevenyearsagoagnesbuiltthefirstv-daysafehouseinnarok,kenya,inthemasailand.anditwasahousewheregirlscouldrunaway,theycouldsavetheirclitoris,theywouldn'tbecut,theycouldgotoschool.andintheyearsthatagneshashadthehouseshehaschangedthesituationthere.shehasliterallybecomedeputymayor.shehaschangedtherules.thewholecommunityhasboughtintowhatshe'sdoing.whenwewerethereshewasdoingaritual,whereshereconcilesgirlswhohaverunaway,withtheirfamilies.andtherewasayounggirlnamedjaclyn.jaclynwas14yearsoldandshewasinhermasaifamilyandthereisadroughtinkenya.andsocowsaredying,andcowsarethemostvaluablepossession.andjaclynoverheardherfathertalkingtoanoldmanabouthowhewasabouttosellherforthecows.andsheknewthatmeantshewouldbecut.sheknewthatmeantshewouldn'tgotoschool.sheknewthatmeantshewouldn'thaveafuture.sheknewshewouldhavetomarrythatoldman,andshewas14.
so,oneafternoon,she'dheardaboutthesafehouse,jaclynleftherfather'shouseandshewalkedfortwodays,twodaysthroughmasailand.shesleptwiththehyenas.shehidatnight.sheimaginedherfatherkillingherononehand,andmamaagnesgreetingher,withthehopethatshewouldgreetherwhenshegottothehouse.andwhenshegottothehouseshewasgreeted.andagnestookherin.andagneslovedher.andagnessupportedherfortheyear.andshewenttoschoolandshefoundhervoiceandshefoundheridentityandshefoundherheart.
andthen,hertimewasreadywhenshehadtogobacktotalktoherfatheraboutthereconciliation,afterayear.andihadtheprivilegeofbeinginthehutwhenshewasreunitedwithherfatherandreconciled.andinthathut,wewalkedin,andherfatherandhisfourwivesweresittingthere,andhersisterswhohadjustreturnedbecausetheyhadallfledwhenshehadfled,andherprimarymother,whohadbeenbeateninstandingupforherwiththeelders.andwhenherfathersawherandsawwhoshehadbecome,inherfullgirlself,hethrewhisarmsaroundherandbrokedowncrying.andhesaid,"youarebeautiful.youhavegrownintoagorgeouswoman.wewillnotcutyou.andigiveyoumyword,hereandnow,thatwewillnotcutyoursisterseither."
andwhatshesaidtohimwas,"youwerewillingtosellmeforfourcowsandacalf,andsomeblankets.butipromiseyou,nowthatiwillbeeducatediwillalwaystakecareofyou,andiwillcomebackandiwillbuildyouahouse.andiwillbeinyourcornerfortherestofyourlife."
forme,thatisthepowerofgirls.andthatisthepoweroftransformation.iwanttoclosetodaywithanewpiecefrommybook.andiwanttodoittonightforthegirlineverybodyhere.andiwanttodoitforsunitha.andiwanttodoitforthegirlsthatsunithatalkedaboutyesterday,thegirlswhosurvive,thegirlswhocanbecomesomebodyelse.butireallywanttodoitforeachandeverypersonhere,tovaluethegirlinus,tovaluethepartthatcries,tovaluethepartthat'semotional,tovaluethepartthat'svulnerable,tounderstandthat'swherethefuturelies.
thisiscalled"i'manemotionalcreature."andithappenedbecauseimetagirlinwattsl.a.iwasaskinggirlsiftheylikedbeingagirl,andallthegirlswerelike,"no,ihateit.ican'tstandit.it'sallbad.mybrothersgeteverything."andthisgirljustsatupandwent,"ilovebeingagirl.i'manemotionalcreature。"(laughter)thisisforher:
ilovebeingagirl.icanfeelwhatyou'refeelingasyou'refeelinginsidethefeelingbefore.iamanemotionalcreature.thingsdonotcometomeasintellectualtheoriesorhard-pressedideas.theypulsethroughmyorgansandlegsandburnupmyears.oh,iknowwhenyourgirlfriendisreallypissedoff,eventhoughsheappearstogiveyouwhatyouwant.iknowwhenastormiscoming.icanfeeltheinvisiblestirringsintheair.icantellyouhewon'tcallback.it'savibeishare.
iamanemotionalcreature.ilovethatidonottakethingslightly.everythingisintensetome,thewayiwalkinthestreet,thewaymymommawakesmeup,thewayit'sunbearablewhenilose,thewayihearbadnews.
iamanemotionalcreature.iamconnectedtoeverythingandeveryone.iwasbornlikethat.don'tyousayallnegativethatit'sonlyonlyateenagething,orit'sonlybecausei'magirl.thesefeelingsmakemebetter.theymakemepresent.theymakemeready.theymakemestrong.
iamanemotionalcreature.thereisaparticularwayofknowing,it'sliketheolderwomensomehowforgot.irejoicethatit'sstillinmybody.oh,iknowwhenthecoconutisabouttofall.iknowwehavepushedtheearthtoofar.iknowmyfatherisn'tcomingback,andthatnooneispreparedforthefire.iknowthatlipstickmeansmorethanshow,andboysaresuperinsecure,andso-calledterroristsaremade,notborn.iknowthatonekisscouldtakeawayallmydecisionmakingability.(laughter)andyouknowwhat。sometimesitshould.thisisnotextreme.it'sagirlthing,whatwewouldallbeifthebigdoorinsideusflewopen.
don'ttellmenottocry,tocalmitdown,nottobesoextreme,tobereasonable.iamanemotionalcreature.it'showtheearthgotmade,howthewindcontinuestopollinate.youdon'ttelltheatlanticoceantobehave.iamanemotionalcreature.whywouldyouwanttoshutmedownorturnmeoff。iamyourremainingmemory.icantakeyouback.nothinghasbeendiluted.nothing'sleakedout.ilove,hearme,ilovethaticanfeelthefeelingsinsideyou,eveniftheystopmylife,eveniftheybreakmyheart,eveniftheytakemeofftrack,theymakemeresponsible.
iamanemotional,iamanemotionalincondotional,devotionalcreature.andil
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