新TOEFL写作(1).ppt

单击此处编辑母版标题样式,单击此处编辑母版文本样式,第二级,第三级,第四级,第五级,*,新,TOEFL,写作（,1,）,新,TOEFL,作文考试概要,在新,TOEFL,中，听说读写这四项技能各占总分的四分之一，写作分成两部分：,INTEGRATED WRITING(,综合性写作,),和,INDEPENDENT WRITING(,独立写作,),，其中综合性写作部分表现为听后感和读后感，应该说这是客观衡量考生实际英语写作水平的一项有力举措。如何在独立写作部分获得高分是本课程的主要任务。,此例足以说明考前练习写作的总要性，同时也阐明了作文成绩合格的必要性。作文在,TOEFL,考试中的战略意义在已经实行机考,CBT(Computer,Based Test),的考区尤为重要。目前，包括欧美在内的全球绝大部分考区都采用,CBT,方式，在这种考试中，考生的作文成绩将不再单独列出，所以绝不会再存在某君,TWE,只有,4,分，,TOEFL,却得了满分的现象。作文计入总分后，所占比重达到总分的近五分之一。,就以前的,PBT(Paper,Based Test),而言，,ETS,的统计数据表明，中国考区历年考试中都有近三分之一考生得不到,4,分。这些分数不足,4,分的人，还可细分为四类人：,1,知识欠缺，非天才而又不努力的初中生；,2,努力不足的高中生；,3,不努力的大学生或更高学历者；,4,多年不接触英语又努力不足的工作人士（含所有学历者）。,写作概要与要点分析,TOEFL,作文既,TWE(Test of Written English),，自,1987,年开始加入到,TOEFL,考试中，,算作考试一部分，以增强该考试考察学生英语水平的程度。多数大学随即对考生作出,TWE,分数的要求，普通文理科的标准为至少,4,分，该标准也随专业和学校不同有所区别，名校和偏向文科类的专业要求更高些，一般为,5,分，也有要求,3,分或,3.5,分的，比如艺术类研究生，澳大利亚，加拿大很多本科专业。当然也有不做任何要求的，具体到同学们要报考的学校的需求，建议到欲报考学校的网站上查询确证。目前已经在我国实行的,TOEFL IBT,考试中，写作已经成为总分中必不可少的一部分，分值为,30,分，占总分,120,的四分之一。,时间：写作部分被安排在,iBT,的第四部分，也就是整场考试的最后,50,分钟进行,工具：,iBT,作文部分可以选择笔答和键盘录入两种选择。若参加机考则有笔答和键盘输入两种选择，打字速度慢者可以用铅笔完成，只不过因为作文卷需要邮寄所以获得分数的时间要比键盘输入者晚两周。,字数：新,TOEFL,作文没有明确规定考生应该写多少单词，但经验表明,200,词以下的文章很难达到,4,分的及格线，一般文章要写到,250,词左右，好文章字数一般在,300350,词左右，此标准需经过训练方能达到。写作时字数多少无法细数，要从篇幅上判断，正常情况每行写,1012,个单词，每行超过,14,词或少于,8,词都不合适，这样答卷纸正面写满一般在,230,词上下，反面再写一般就有,300,多个单词了。,文体：正规书面文体，绝对不可使用像,Its,Ill,等非正规文体的表达，也不可使用类似,dorm,pro,等口语中的词汇，学习,TOEFL,期间要注意尽量不用,TOEFL,听力中的俗语，俚语，而应该注意模仿,TOEFL,阅读中的遣词造句。,题目：对笔考而言，作文题目每次必换，偶尔有类似但绝不重复。机考的作文题目事先给出，见于报考时发放的小册子内，题目定期更新，最新题目可以在,ETS,官方网站上下载（,www.toefl.org,），作文题库总数量目前是,200,多个，考试时随机选中一个，猜中题目的概率小于,1%,。,评分标准,请事先阅读,ETS,在考生须知中给出的中英文版评分标准。,Score:5,An essay at this level largely accomplishes all the following:,Effectively addresses the topic and task,Is well organized and well developed,using clearly appropriate explanations,exemplifications,and/or details,Displays unity,progression,and coherence,Displays consistent facility in the use of language,demonstrating syntactic variety,appropriate word choice,and,indiomaticity,though it may have minor lexical or grammatical errors.,这个档次的短文大致上完成了下面任务：,有效切题或解决了任务,主旨结构有序，使用清晰合适的解释，例证和,/,或细节,表现出整体统一性，渐进和前后一致,表现出稳定的语言应用能力，句式多样性，合理选词和使用成语，尽管可能有小的词汇或语法错误,Score:4,An essay at this level largely accomplishes all the following:,Addresses the topic and task well,though some points may not be fully elaborated,Is generally well organized and well developed,using appropriate and sufficient explanations,exemplifications,and/or details,Displays unity,progression,and coherence,though it may contain occasional redundancy,digression,or unclear connections,Displays facility in the use of language,demonstrating syntactic variety and range of vocabulary,though it will probably have occasional noticeable minor errors in structure,word from,or use of idiomatic language that do not interfere with meaning,这个档次的短文大致上完成了下面任务：,很好地切题和解决了任务，尽管有些点没有充分展开,组织结构较好，使用合适和充分的解释，例证和,/,或细节,表现出统一性，渐进和前后一致，尽管偶尔有些多余，离题或不清晰的联系,表现出语言应用能力，表现出句法多样性和相当词汇量，尽管偶尔有明显结构上、词形或使用成语与要表达意思不相干等小错误,Score:3,An essay at this level is marked by one or more of the following:,Addresses the topic and task using somewhat developed explanations,exemplifications,and/or details,Displays unity,progression,and coherence,though connection of ideas may be occasionally obscured,May demonstrate inconsistent facility in sentence formation and word choice that may result in lack of clarity and occasionally obscure meaning,May display accurate but limited range of syntactic structures and vocabulary,这个层次的短文以下面一个或多个为特征：,使用一些解释，例证和,/,或细节来解决题目或任务,表现出统一性，渐进和前后一致，尽管意思衔接偶尔不明晰,表现出在句式形式和选词上缺乏清晰度或偶尔意思模糊,表现出精确但有限的句式结构和词汇,Score:2,An essay at this level may reveal one or more of the following weaknesses:,Limited development in response to the topic and task,Inadequate organization or connection of ideas,inappropriate or insufficient exemplifications,explanations,or details to support or illustrate generalizations in response to the task,A noticeably inappropriate choice of words or word forms,An accumulation of errors in sentence structure and/or usage,这个档次的短文可能有下面一个或多个弱点：,不能很好切题或解决任务,结构不充分或意思连接不畅通,用来阐释结论的例证，解释或细节不合适或不充分,明显的选词不当或词形选择有错误,积累多个句子结构或句式应用上的错误,Score:1,An essay at this level is seriously flawed by one or more of the following weaknesses:,Serious disorganization or underdevelopment,Little or no detail,or irrelevant specifics,or questionable responsiveness to the task,Serious and frequent errors in sentence structure or usage,这个档次的短文严重有缺陷因为下面一个或多个弱点：,严重的结构不清晰，文章没有展开,很少或没有细节或无关细节，或者对问题回答值得置疑,严重且经常出现的句子结构和句式应用错误,Score:0,An essay at this level merely copies words from the topic,rejects the topic,or is otherwise not connected to the topic,is written in a foreign language,consists of keystroke characters or is blank.,这个档次的短文仅从题目中复制词汇，或排斥题目，或者与题目无关，以外语写作，有些键入的字符或者是空白的。,三、,15,分文章范文,范文题目,：,Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?,Always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship.,Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer,试题分析：,这个题目支持很多种写法：有些作者会反对这个观点，并通过描述那些需要说谎的场合来证明,-,这些场合一般包括,white lies,，为了不伤害他人而说谎；或者在商业环境中为了商业秘密而说谎；有些作者会支持这个观点，并通过“说谎需要更多的慌来圆”这个观点来论证,-,这些作者王往往会通过例子来论证自己的观点；另一些作者会分情况讨论。这些写法都是可以的。,在写这个题目的时候，举例子是非常合理的。举的例子不管是真实的还是假想的，都是合适的。,5,分范文,Dishonesty Kills Reliability,There are certain considerations or factors that everyone takes into account in a relationship.People may look for honesty,altruism,understanding,loyalty,being thoughtful etc!Everyone would more or less wish that the person s/he is dealing with,has some of these virtues above.Putting them in an order according to their,importanc,however can be very subjective and relative.,When someone asks him/herself the question“what do I consider to be the most important things in my relationship?”the answer depends on a lot of,facors,such as how his/her earlier relationships were.,After stating that everyones opinion can be different about this,for me honesty,in other words,always telling,th,truth is the most important consideration in a relationship.Opposite of this is inarguably lying and if,soemone,needs to lie,either s/he is hiding something or is afraid of telling me something.,In any relationship of mine,I would wish that first of all,the person Im dealing with is honest.Even though s/he thinks that s/he did something wrong that I wouldnt like,s/hed better tell me the truth and not lie about it.Later on if I find out about a lie or hear the truth form someone else,thatd be much more unpleasant.In that case how can I ever believe or trust that,perosn,again?How can I ever believe that this person has enough,condidence,in me to forgive him/her and carry on with the relationship form there.So if I cannot trust a person anymore,if the,perosn,doesnt think I can handle the truth,theres no point to continuing that relationship.,Althought,I would like to see altruistic,understanding,thoughtful and loyal behavior form people,an instance of the opposite of these behaviors would not upset me as much as,dishonesy,would.Among all the possible behaviors,dishonesty is the only one for me that terminates how I feel about a,perosns,reliablilty,.Therefore honest would be my first concern and the most important consideration in a relationship.(342words),范文点评：,首先，写文章的时候不用写标题（但是写了当然也不会算错误）。,第二，从结构上看，这篇文章很有趣：在这五段中，前三段符合对开头段的定义,-,引出话题并说明观点（第一段说其实很多因素都能很重要，第二段说究竟哪个因素最重要这个问题是个主观问题，第三段说对我来讲说真话是最重要的，至此才出现观点）。第四段是通常意义上的中间段，论证为什么要说真话（而且其实没有中国考生所认为的那种理由，只是说自己不能接受），第五段是结尾段（总结观点）。,第三，这篇文章虽然有些小问题（标点之类的），但语言非常流利，准确，而且出现了足够多的变化（比如最后有一句话中：,my first concern,和,the most important consideration,），以及句式变化（出现了反问句），这样的语言属于当之无愧的满分，对我们的提示有：,满分并不需要用华丽的词汇和及其复杂的句式，也不需要故意体现修辞能力，只需要通顺，流利和自然的变化。,第四，这篇文章只有,342,词。虽然字数多一般说明一个人写作能力强，但是最关键的仍然是把问题讲清楚。相反，一味想要增加字数，不择手段写空话废话，未必能得到高分。但是一般来说，一篇好的文章（,4,分到,5,分）需要,300,词以上。,4,分范文,Always telling the truth in any relationship is really the most important consideration for many reasons.I could say that when you lie to someone,this person will not trust you anymore and what is a relationship based on?Trust,confidence,so the sense of,realtionship,is being lost.Another point is that if the true is,ommited,once,it will surely appear,soemtime,somewhere and probably in the most unexpected way,causing lots of problems for the ones involved.So the truth is the basis for everything.,First,confidence is the most important aspect of a friendship or a marriage,or anything like that,so once it is lost,the whole thing goes down in a way that no one can bear it.To avoid losing confidence,there is only one way,telling the truth,lying will just help throwing it away.For example,a couple decided to go out on the weekend,but the man has a party to go with his friends to where he can not take his girlfriend and then he lies to her saying that he is sick and can not go to the date,she,undertands,him and they do not see each other in that weekend,but he goes to the party and has much fun.Suppose on Monday,the girl talks to a friend that saw him at the party and asked why did not she go with him.She found out the true and all confidence was lost,the basis for their relation is now gone and what happens next is that they break up or if they do not,he will persist on,lyes,and someday it will end.,What happened to this couple is very common around here and many relationships,even friends and marriages end because of something like that.Some may argue that lying once or another will not interfere anything and it is part of a relation,but I strongly,disagree,the,most important thing is the true,even if it is to determine the end of a relation,it must be told.There are more chances to end something lying than saying what really happened.(361words),范文点评：,全文共三段。开头段指出观点，中间段用一个极其夸张的假想例子来证明观点，结尾段还用了反驳手法来论证（尽管这里的反驳从逻辑上讲并不充分），体现了内容充分展开的评分标准。从文章的论证逻辑上看，本文和,5,分篇一样，没有用中国考生常用的五段论，还是高分，中国考生要反思一下，如果发现三个层次并不适合自己的话，应该考虑学习这种用重复展开代替很多层次的方法。,从语言上看，这篇文章用了多种句型，并且能偶尔熟练使用连接词连接句子。当然，语言上存在,runon,sentence(“some,may argue that lying once or another will not interfere anything and it is part of a relation but I strongly disagree,the most important thing is the true,even if it is to determine the end of relation,it must be told.”),还有一些比较明显的词汇和词形错误（比如”,if the true is,ommited,”,lying will just help throwing it away”,lying once or another”,“persist on,lyes,”,）。,3,分范文,Some people believe that it is one of the most important value in many relationships to tell the truth all the time.However,it cannot be always the best choice to tell the truth in many situations.Sometimes white lies are,indispensible,to keep relationships more lively and,dilightly,there are some examples to support this idea.,Firstly,in the relationships between lovers,it is often essential to compliment their lovers on their appearance and their behavior.Even though they do not think that their boyfriend or girlfriend looks good on their new shoes and new clothes,it will probably,diss,them by telling the truth.On the other hand,little compliments will make them confident and happy making their relationship,mor,tight.Secondly,parents need to,encourge,their children by telling lies.Even if they are doing bad work on studying or exercising,telling the truth will hurt their hearts.What they need is a little,encoruaging,words instead of truthful words.,Thirdly,for some patients telling them their current state of their,desease,will probably desperate them.It is accepted,publically,not to let the patients know the truth.They may be able to have hope to overcome their,desease,without knowing,th,truth.,In conclusion,it is not always better to tell the truth than lies.Some lies are acceptable in terms of making peoples life more profusely.Not everybody had to know the truth,and it will lead them more happier not knowing it.In these cased,white lies are worth to,br,regarded as a virtue of people relationships(264words),范文点评,这篇文章是希望同学们重点阅读的一片范文,-,中国考生式的作文。,从结构上看，是五段的标准结构。从内容上看，三个层面其实都是很不错的逻辑层面，而且在,30,分钟之内能展开成这样三层是非常不错的（比,4,分和,5,分范文都要深刻），但为什么这篇文章只得了,3,分？这个问题对于中国考生来说很重要。长期以来，中国考生重结构轻表达的情况很严重（与中国文化和思维方式有关），不知道如何具体展开一个问题或者一个例子。每个中间段的内容都看似清晰其实很含糊，句子间逻辑跳跃严重。与此范文水平相当的考生应当加强细节写作训练，用细节来避免抽象和逻辑跳跃。,从语言上看，词汇和句式由于抽象和不合规的地方较多，导致了一些意思模糊（比如：“,keep relationships,dilightly,”,“will probably desperate them”,“making peoples life more profusely“,“it will lead them more happier not knowing it.”,）,2,分范文,Recently,there is a big debate on the issue that telling the truth or not is the most important consideration in the relationship between people.For my experience,I think telling a truth is the most important consideration in peoples relationship.In the following,I will illustrate my opinion by two reasons.,First of all,honest make the trust stronger between friends or,colleages,.As we know,if people tell a lie to others he will not be trusted.When he tell a truth,others will believe that he tells a lie.For example,a person who is honest to others,can get real help and get trust of others.,Secondly,telling a lie always makes things worse not only in work but also in family life.When somebody do something wrong in his job he should announce his mistake to his manager.if he dont do that others may continue their jobs base on the mistake.Consequently,the work,willl,be worse and worse.,On the contrary,sometimes it is better to tell a lie to others,such as telling a lie to a patient.As we know,the sick become worse when a cancer patient know his illness.A good way to protect their life is to tell a lie.So that many,docotors,will not tell the truth to a dying patient.,To sum up,people should tell the truth to maintain their relationship with other people,although sometimes people have to tell a lie.People can get trust when they are honest to others.(258),范文点评：,这也是推荐考生好好研究的一片文章，尽管只有,2,分，但是非常有中国考生的写作特点。虽然层次不少，但没有一个层次真正被展开分析，所以没一点口佷弱。,整篇文章自相矛盾：前面说一定要说真话，后面说其实有时候要说假话。其实让步是可以的，但是内容让步的同时观点也要让步，不能只是内容让步（违反了评分标准”,unity”,）,第二段由于连接词和语言抽象的关系，信息传递上非常令人费解。第三段想讲工作和生活，最后生活方面一点都没有讲。,希望中国考生仔细揣摩这篇文章，了解这些写作习惯带来的坏处。,1,分范文,Nowadays,many people think that the people who always telling the true is the most,inportant,consideration in any relationship between human,but another think that is necessary to tell some lies.It is seldom to reach the same issue.I agree with the first thinking because of the following reasons.,First,fo,all.We all live the realized world,people can respect you unless you want to use correct method to communicate with other people.It is very important especially in business,if you want to receive the good,resulit,you must tell the,ture,about your own so that gain the,considement,.,Secondly,if you are honest,manlwoman,many people may be want to make friend with you.You can have more chance to,communate,with other people.You may be gain more information from them.,However,sometimes we must speak some lie.For example,when our relatives have heavy,illlness,such as cancer,e couldnt telling them the,ture,.Because that not good for their health,and may be affect their life.,In conclusion,teling,the,ture,is the people good,behavir,.We must require most of people to tell the,ture,.Thus,we can see the better world in our life unless we always tell the,ture,.(206words),范文点评：,这