key-(学生练习-改进句子new).doc

Mr.Fan’s Wrting Class
Exercises on How to improve sentences
Class ___________ Name ______________ Score ____________
1. Use parallelism
1. The novelty store sells hand buzzers, plastic fangs, and insects that are fake.
Answers may vary slightly.
1. The novelty store sells hand buzzers, plastic fangs, and fake insects.
2. Many people share the same three intense fears: being in high places, working with numbers, and speeches.
2. Many people share the same three great fears: being in high places, working with numbers, and making speeches.
3. To decide on a career, students should think closely about their interests, hobbies, and what they are skilled at.
3. To decide on a career, people should think closely about their interests, hobbies, and skills.
4. At the body shop, the car was sanded down to the bare metal, painted with primer, and red enamel was sprayed on.
4. At the body shop, the car was sanded down to the bare metal, painted with primer, and sprayed with red enamel.
5. In order to become a dancer, Lola is taking lessons, working in amateur shows, and auditioned for professional companies.
5. In order to become a dancer, Lola is taking lessons, working in amateur shows, and auditioning for professional companies.
6. Juan's last job offered security; a better chance for advancement is offered by his new job.
6. Juan’s last job offered security; his new job offers a better chance for advancement.
7. People in today's world often try to avoid silence, whether on the job, in school, or when relaxing at home.
7. People in today’s world often try to avoid silence, whether on the job, in school, or at home.
8. Because the dying woman was dignified and with courage, she won everyone's respect.
8. Because the dying woman was dignified and courageous, she won everyone’s respect.
9. The politician trusted no one, rewarded loyalty, and was dependent only on his own instincts.
9. The politician trusted no one, rewarded loyalty, and depended only on his own instincts.
10. If we're not careful, we'll leave the next generation polluted air, contaminated water, and forests that are dying.
10. If we’re not careful, we’ll leave the next generation polluted air, contaminated water, and dying forests.

2. Use a consistent point of view
Find the incorrect form and revise with the correct form in the following sentences.
1. An aggressive news photographer knocked a reporter to the ground as the movie stars arrive for the Academy Awards.
1. An aggressive news photographer knocked a reporter to the ground as the movie stars arrived for the Academy Awards.
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2. The winning wheelchair racer in the marathon slumped back in exhaustion and asks for some ice to soothe his blistered hands.
2. The winning wheelchair racer in the marathon slumped back in exhaustion and asked for some ice to soothe his blistered hands.
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3. On the TV commercial for mail-order kitchen knives, an actor cuts a tree branch in half and sliced an aluminum can into ribbons.
On the TV commercial for mail-order kitchen knives, an actor cuts a tree branch in half and slices an aluminum can into ribbons.
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4. "My husband is so dumb," said Martha, "that when he went to Las Vegas, he tries to play the soda machines."
4. "My husband is so dumb," said Martha, "that when he went to Las Vegas, he tried to play the soda machines."
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5. The jeep swerved around the corner, went up on two wheels, and tips over on its side.
5. The jeep swerved around the corner, went up on two wheels, and tipped over on its side.
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6. When I examined the used car, you could see that one of the front fenders had been replaced.
6. When I examined the used car, you could see that one of the front fenders has been replaced.
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3. Use specific words
Exercise 1 Revise the following sentences, changing vague, indefinite words into sharp, specific ones
1. Several of our appliances broke down at the same time.
Our washer, refrigerator, and television broke down at the same time.
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2. Salty snacks are my diet downfall.
Potato chips, corn chips, pretzels are my diet downfall.
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3. Our neighbor’s family room has a lot of electronic equipment.
Our neighbor’s family room has a TV, a washing machine and a microwave oven.
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Exercise 2
With the help of the above methods, add specific details to the following sentences.
Example: The person got off the bus. The teenage boy bounded down the steps of the shiny yellow school bus.
1. She worked hard all summer.
All summer Huang Shen sorted peaches in the hot, noisy canning factory.
2. The car would not start.
The old yellow Ford pickup trembled vigorously for a while and stopped suddenly.
3. The test was difficult.
The mid-term Math test paper is full of complex and dizzying formulas and charts.

4. Vary Your Sentences
Combine the following pairs of simple sentences into one sentence.
4.1 By adding a dependent thought:
1. Kevin had sent away for a set of tools. He changed his mind about spending the money.
Since Kevin had sent away for a set of tools, he changed his mind about spending the money.
2. Some people are allergic to wool. They buy only sweaters made from synthetic fibers.
Because some people are allergic to wool, they buy only sweaters made from synthetic fibers.

3. An older woman in my typing class can type almost one hundred words a minute. She is having trouble landing a secretarial job.
An older woman in my typing class can type almost one hundred words a minute, but she is having trouble landing a secretarial job.
4. The weather was cold and windy. Al brought a thick blanket to the football game.
As the weather was cold and windy, Al brought a thick blanket to the football game.
5. Rita bit into the hard taffy. She broke a filling.
Rita bit into the hard taffy, because she broke a filling.

4.2 By beginning with a special opening word or phrase:
1. The pelican scooped small fish into its baggy bill. It dipped into the waves. (-ing word)
Dipping into the waves, the pelican鹧鸪 scooped 掘取small fish into its baggy bill .
2. Shirley signed the repair contract. She was reluctant. (-ly word)
Reluctantly, Shirley signed the repair contract.
3. The interns volunteered to work overtime. They wanted to improve their chances of promotion. (to word group)
To improve their chances of promotion, the interns volunteered to work overtime.
4. The accused murderer grinned at the witnesses. He did this during the trial. (Prepositional phrase)
During the trial, the accused murderer grinned at the witnesses.
5. The vet's office was noisy and confusing. It was crowded with nervous pets. (-ed word)
Crowded with nervous pets, the vet's兽医 office was noisy and confusing
6. Barry tried to find something worth watching. He flipped from channel to channel. (-ing word)
6. Flipping from channel to channel, Barry tried to find something worth watching.

4.3 By placing adjectives or verbs in a series
1. Jesse spun the basketball on one finger. He rolled it along his arms. He dribbled it between his legs.
1. Jesse spun the basketball on one finger, rolled it along his arms and dribbled it between his legs.
2. The baby toddled across the rug. He picked up a button. He put the button in his mouth.
2. The baby toddled across the rug, picked up a button and put the button in his mouth.
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3. Water dribbled out of the tap. The water was brown. The water was foul-tasting. The tap was rusty. The tap was metal.
3. The brown foul-tasting water dribbled out of the rusty metal tap.

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4. By 6 a.m. I had read the textbook chapter. I had taken notes on it. I had studied the notes. I had drunk eight cups of coffee.
By 6 a.m. I had read the textbook chapter, taken notes on it, studied the notes and drunk eight cups of coffee.
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5. The exterminator approached the wasps' nests hanging under the eaves. The nests were large. The nests were papery. The eaves were old. The eaves were wooden.
5. The exterminator approached the wasps' large papery nests hanging under the old wooden eaves.
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6. Reeds bordered the pond. The reeds were slim. The reeds were brown. The pond was green. The pond was stagnant.
6. Slim brown reeds bordered the green stagnant pond.