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Unit2
3.Bringing up Children培养孩子
Gerald Mosback Vivienne Mosback
杰拉尔德.莫斯巴克 维维恩.莫斯巴克
It is generally accepted that the experiences of the child in his first years largely determine his character and later personality. Every experience teaches the child something and the effects are cumulative. „Upbringing‟ is normally used to refer to the treatment and training of the child within the home. This is closely related to the treatment and training of the child in school, which is usually distinguished by the term „education‟. In a society such as ours, both parents and teachers are responsible for the opportunities provided for the development of the child, so that upbringing and education are interdependent.
一个人儿童时代的经历在很大程度上决定了他的性格和未来的个性，这一点是被大家所公认的。童年的每一段经历都会教给孩子一些有价值的东西，并且其效果与日俱增。 “培养”常用来指孩子在家里所受到的待遇和训练；与此相关的是孩子在学校里所受到的待遇和训练，而后者通常用 “教育”这个术语来界定。在我们这个社会中，父母和老师都有责任为孩子的发展提供机会，这样就使培养和教育有一种相互依赖的关系。
The ideals and practices of child rearing vary form culture to culture. In general, the more rural the community, the more uniform are the customs of child upbringing. In more technologically developed societies, the period of childhood and adolescence tends to be extended over a long time, resulting in more opportunity for education and greater variety in character development.
Early upbringing in the home is naturally affected both by the cultural pattern of the community and by the parent‟s capabilities and their aims and depends not only on upbringing and education but also on the innate abilities of the child. Wild differences of innate intelligence and temperament exist even in children of the same family.
根据文化的差异，抚养孩子的目的和方式也各不相同。一般来说，越是在农村地区，抚养孩子的习俗就越相似。在科技更加发达的社会里，孩子的童年时代和少年时代可能会延长，因此他们受教育的机会就会更多，个性的发展就更具多样化。
在家庭中的早期培养，一方面受到所在社区文化模式的影响，另一方面也受到父母的能力和培养目标的影响，这一切不仅取决于培养和教育，而且还取决于孩子的天性。因此即使在同样家庭里长大的孩子，他们天生的智力和脾性也存在很大的差异。
Parents can ascertain what is normal in physical, mental and social development, by referring to some of the many books based on scientific knowledge in these areas, or less reliably, since the sample is smaller, by comparing notes with friends and relatives who have children.
父母可以依据有关孩子教育方面的科学知识，或许有些是不可靠，通过这些知识来了解孩子的体力和智力以与社会发展的正常状况。家庭教育范围较小，父母还可以与有孩子的朋友和亲戚交换看法。
Intelligent parents, however, realize that the particular setting of each family is unique, and the can be on rigid general rules. They use general information only as a guide in making decisions and solving problems. For example, they will need specific suggestions for problems such as speech defects or backwardness in learning to walk or control of bodily functions. In the more general sense, though, problems of upbringing are recognized to be problems of relationships within the individual family, the first necessity being a secure emotional background with parents who are untied in their attitude to their children.
然而聪明的父母意识到每个家庭的背景各不相同，因此就不应该循规蹈矩。在决定和解决问题时，他们只能把一般规律作为指导。 譬如，在孩子有语言缺陷，学走路障碍或是身体器官失控时，父母就需要使用特殊的暗示来解决这些问题。但从更加普遍的意义上来说，培养孩子的问题就是一个家庭内部的关系问题，其中首要前提是孩子与父母有稳固的情感，他们在对待孩子的态度上必须一致。
All parents have to solve the problems of freedom and discipline. The younger the child, the more readily the mother gives in to his demands to avoid disappointing him. She knows that if his energies are not given an outlet, her child‟s continuing development may be warped. An example of this is the young child‟s need to play with the mud and sand and water. A child must be allowed to enjoy this „messy‟ but tactile stage of discovery before he is ready to go no to the less physical pleasures of toys and books. Similarly, throughout life, each stage depends on the satisfactory completion of the one before.
所有的父母必须解决孩子的自由与纪律的问题。孩子越小，母亲为了不令其感到失望，就越容易对孩子的要求作出让步。因为她知道，如果孩子的精力得不到发泄，那么他持续稳定的发展就会受到影响。小孩子喜欢玩泥巴，沙子和水就说明了这一点。在儿童乐于接受玩具、书本这些脑力活动前，我们必须允许他们从这个 “凌乱”但又是通过触觉去发现的阶段中得到乐趣。同样，在人的一生当中，每个阶段的发展都是依靠前一个阶段的圆满完成。
Where one stage of child development has been left out, or not sufficiently experienced, the child may have to go back and capture the experience of it. A good home makes this possible---for example by providing the opportunity for the child to play with a clockwork car or toy railway train up to any age if he still needs to do so. This principle, in fact, underlies all psychological treatment of children in difficulties with their development, and is the basis of work in child clinics.
如果儿童发展的某一个阶段被忽略了，或是没有得到充分的体验，那么他可能就要重返那个阶段以获得那个阶段所应获得的经验。一个好的家庭就会做到这一点。譬如在这类家庭里，无论孩子的年龄有多大，只要他们需要，父母都会为孩子提供玩具小汽车和玩具火车的机会。这个原则实际上是对有发展障碍的儿童进行所有心理治疗的依据，同时也是儿童诊所进行治疗的基础。
The beginnings of discipline are in the nursery. Even the youngest baby is taught by gradual stages to wait for food, to sleep and wake at regular intervals and so on. If the child feels the word around him is a warm and friendly one, he slowly accepts its rhythm and accustoms himself to conforming to its demands. Learning to wait for things, particularly for food, is a very important element in upbringing, and is achieved successfully only if too great demands are not made before the child can understand them.
纪律是从一个孩子在育婴室时就开始的。当一个人还是婴儿时，父母就会逐渐地教他等待开饭的时间，在规定的时间内睡觉、起床和一些其它诸如此类的事情。只有让儿童感到在他周围是一个充满温暖和友好气氛的世界，他才会慢慢地接受这个世界的节奏，习惯地服从这个世界对他提出的种种要求。在培养孩子的过程当中，让孩子学会等待尤为重要，尤其是对食物的等待，若想在这方面取得成功，在孩子还不懂事时， 家长应该尽可能少地对孩子提出更多的种种要求。
Every parent watches eagerly the child‟s acquisition of each new skill---the first spoken words, the first independent steps, or the beginning of reading and writing. It is often tempting to hurry the child beyond his natural learning rate, but this can set up dangerous feelings of failure and states of anxiety in the child. This might happen at any stage. A baby might be forced to use a toilet too early, a young child might be encouraged to learn to read before he knows the meaning of the words he reads. On the other hand, though, if a child is left alone too much, or without any learning opportunities, he loses his natural zest for life and his desire to find out new things for himself.
每一位父母都渴望看到自己孩子所获得的每一种新技能，例如孩子第一次开口说话，第一次在无人帮助的情况下走路，或是学会了阅读和写作。拔苗助长、超前学习常常诱惑着家长，但这会使孩子养成一种害怕失败，焦虑不安的心理状态。这种拔苗助长的情况在任何年龄阶段都可能发生。婴儿有时会被家长过早的强迫使用卫生间，小孩子会在还不懂得词语本身的含义时而被迫进行阅读。但另一方面，家长如果对孩子放任不管，致使他没有学习的机会，那么孩子就会失去对生活的热情，失去对新事物的好奇心。
Learning together is a fruitful source of relationship between children and parents. By playing together, parents learn more about their children and children learn more from their parents. Toys and games which both parents and children can share are an important means of achieving this co-operation. Building-block toys and jigsaw puzzles and crosswords are good examples.
互相学习是增进父母与孩子之间情感的有利源泉。通过一起玩耍，家长可以更多地了解他们的孩子，同时孩子也可以从父母身上学到许多东西。玩具和游戏是促进这一亲和力最重要的桥梁，譬如建筑类玩具、拼图玩具和纵横字谜 （一种填图游戏）都是进行情感交流的好工具。
Parents vary greatly in their degree of strictness and indulgence towards their children. Some may be especially strict in money matters, others are severe over times of coming home at night, punctuality for meals or personal cleanliness. In general, the controls imposed represent the needs of the parents and the values of the community as much as the child‟s own happiness and well-being.
As regards the development of moral standards in the growing child, consistency is very important in parental teaching. To forbid a thing one day and excuse it the next is no foundation for morality. Also, parents should realize that „example is better than precept‟. If they are hypocritical and do not practise what they preach, their children‟ may grow confused and emotionally insecure when they grow old enough to think for themselves, and realize they have been to some extent deceived. A sudden awareness of a marked difference between their parents‟ ethics and their morals can be a dangerous disillusion.
父母在对自己孩子的严格或放任程度上差异很大。有些家长对孩子在钱的方面上要求十分严格，而有些家长在其它方面要求非常严格，譬如他们要求孩子放学后要按时回家，准时吃饭或是要求孩子保持个人卫生。总而言之，就像孩子的幸福和快乐体现了家长的愿望和社会的价值的一样，对孩子所施加的压力也体现了这一点。
在儿童道德标准发展的过程中，父母的言行一致是非常重要的。第一天禁止的事情在第二天却照常发生，这样的事情是没有道德依据的。也就是说，家长应该意识到：身教胜于言教。如果父母虚有其表，言行不一，随着孩子们年龄的增长，他们可能会对父母的言行感到越来越迷惑，越来越不可靠，当到了能够独立思考的年龄时，孩子们会发现自己在某种程度上受了欺骗。如果他们突然意识到他们父母的行为准则和自己的道德标准存在着明显的差异，那么孩子会因此变得玩世不恭，这是很可怕的。
4. American Social Relations美国社会关系
Gladys G. Doty Janet Ross
格拉迪斯.吉.多蒂 珍妮特.罗丝
American society is much more informal than that of many other countries and ,in some ways, is characterized by less social distinction. The American mixture of pride in achievement and sense of “I’m just as good as anybody else.” Along with lack of importance placed on personal dignity, is difficult for a foreigner to understand. Americans in general do not like to be considered inferior, and they grumble loudly about inconveniences or not getting a “fair deal.” Yet they do not make a point of their personal honor. As an illustration of the difference between European and American reflection in this respect, John Whyte in American Words and Ways gives the following account.
美国的社会比其他国家的社会更加非正式，在某些方面，美国社会的特征就是较少的社会差别。美国式的混合物－个人的成就感、不比别人差的优越感以与对个人尊严缺乏重要性，这些对一个外国人来说是很难理解的。通常来讲美国人不喜欢被别人看成低人一等的，他们也会为自己遭受的不便而抱怨，还会为自己没有得到公平的待遇而抱怨。然而，他们也不是很重视自己的荣誉。在这一方面，为了更好展示欧洲人和美国人的不同反映，John Whyte 在《美国语言和方式》这本书里给了我们如下的描述。
A ...[European] professor [visiting in America ] was once sent a bill for hospital services which he had never enjoyed. The bill was accompanied by a strong letter demanding payment. It was obvious that a mistake in name had been made, but the professor, thoroughly aroused by this reflection on his character and financial integrity , wrote a vigorous letter of reply (which an American might also have done ). But in this letter of reply he demanded that the creditor write him a formal letter of apology …for this reflection on his honor. Since on publicity could possibly have been given to the mistake, for mistake it was ,most Americans in that situation, after getting the matter off their chest (or without doing that )would have let the matter rest.
有位欧洲的教授曾在美国访问，他有次收到一份在医院接受治疗的账单，实际上他并没有接受过任何治疗。随附账单还有一封措施很强烈的信件。很明显这是因为把姓名弄错了，但是这位教授由于对信中对自己人格以与金钱方面的廉洁而提出的质疑感到不舒服，他也写了一份措辞很激烈的回信。（美国人也会这样去做）。但是在这份回信中，这位欧洲教授要求他的债权人写一份正式的道歉信，就因为对他人格的指责。由于这样的错误并没有被公众知悉，即使这样的错误已经发生了，但大多数美国人在这种形势下，只是将其宣泄一番，甚至有的人根本就不用宣泄，就让这件事情过去了。
An example of the same thing may be that although Americans like to talk about their accomplishment ,it is their custom to show certain modesty in reply to compliments. When someone praises an American upon his achievement or upon his personal appearance ,which, incidentally, is a very polite thing to do in America, the American turns it aside. If someone should say, “Congratulations upon being elected president of the club,” an American is expected to reply, “well, I hope I can do a good job,” or something of the sort. Or if someone says . “That’s pretty blue necktie you are wearing,” an American is likely to say ,”I’m glad you like it,” or “Thank you My wife gave it to me for my birthday.” The response to a compliment seldom conveys the idea, “I, too, think I’m pretty good.”
同样的事情我再给你举一个例子，尽管美国人比较喜欢讨论自己的成就，但是他们有个习俗，那就是如果你得到某种赞美时，你的回答要展示某种谦虚。当有人在赞美一个美国人诸如他的成就或外貌的时候，这些话题在美国被认为是很有礼貌的事情，他也不会太在意。如果有人对一个美国人说：“祝贺你当选俱乐部主席”，他会回答“我希望把工作做好”或者诸如词类的话语。当有人说：“你打的领结很漂亮”，而美国人会说“我很高兴你喜欢它”或者“谢谢你，这是我妻子送给我的生日礼物”。所有对这种赞美的回答从来都不会传达这样的含义即“我也认为我挺不错的”
Likewise ,there are fewer social conventions that show social differences in America. Students do not rise when a teacher enters the room .on does not always address a person by his title, such as “professor” or “Doctor” (“Doctor” is always used ,however ,for a doctor of medicine). The respectful “sit” is not always use in the northern and western parts of the country .
同样的，在美国也很少有那种社会习俗来表现这种社会差异。当老师进教室的时候，学生是不起立的。也不经常在一个人的名字前面加一些头衔，比如教授或博士。（DOCTOR 如果从医药学方面来称呼也是可以的）。表示尊敬含义的SIR在美国北部和西部也是很少使用的。
Clothing in America ,as in every place in the word, to a certain degree reflects a person’s social position and income, or , at least among the young, his attitudes toward society or toward himself. Yet no person is restricted to a certain uniform or manner of dress because of his occupations or class in society. A bank president may wear overalls to paint his house and it not ashamed of either the job or the clothing, and a common laborer may wear a rented tuxedo at his daughter’s wedding .
在美国正如在世界上其他地方一样，从某种意义上，人的穿着会反映其社会地位和收入，或者至少在年轻人当中可以反映这个社会或者自己的态度。但是由于自已的职业或社会地位，没有任何一个只局限穿一种特定的制服或选择某种特定的穿衣方式。一个银行的行长在粉刷自己房子的时候会穿工装服，而且不会因这种工作和穿衣的方式而感到羞愧。而一个普通劳动者在自己女儿的婚礼上也会租穿一件无尾燕尾服。
Yet in spite of all the informality, America it not completely without customs that show consciousness of social distinction. For example, one is likely to use somewhat more formal language when talking to superiors. While the informal “Hello” is an acceptable greeting form employee to employer, the employee is more apt to say. “Hello, Mr. Ferguson.” Whereas the employer may reply, “Hello, Jim.” Southerners make a point of saying “Yes, sir,” or “Yes ,ma’ma,” or “No, sir,” or “No , ma’ma,” when talking to an older person or a person in position of authority. Although this is a good form all over the United States, “Yes, Mr. Weston” or “No, Mr. Baker” is somewhat more common in a similar situation in the North or West .
尽管有诸如此类非正式的东西，但是美国也并不是完全没有习俗来展现这种社会差别意识。例如，但一个人跟他的上司说话的时候，他会用更加正式的语言。尽管非正式语言HELLO可以用于雇员和雇主之间，但对于一个雇员来说，他更倾向于使用HELLO,MR FERGUSON，而上司回答时可以直接回答HELLO JIM。当跟一个年长者或者权位更高的人说话时，美国南方人主张说YES SIR 或YES MA’AM 或NO, SIR或NO, MA’MA。尽管这样的称谓在全美国被认为是一种很好的称谓形式，但是在美国北部或西部，人们还更倾向于称YES,MR WESTON或NO,MRS BAKER。
Certain other forms of politeness are observed on social occasions. Though people wear hates less now than in the past ,women still occasionally wear hats in church and at public social functions (except those that are in the evening.)
某种表示礼貌的形式可以在社交场合会看到的。尽管现在的人不像过去那么经常带帽子，但是女性在教堂或一些公众庆祝宴会时会带上帽子的（当然这些场合如果发生在晚上就不用了）
In America there are still customs by which a man may show respect for a woman. He opens the door for her and lets her precede him through it . he walks on the side of the walk nearest the street. He takes her arm when crossing a street or descending a stairway. A younger person also shows respect for an older one in much the same fashion, by helping the older person in things requiring physical exertion or involving possible accident.
在美国仍然还有些习俗，男士们通过这些习惯来表现对女士的尊敬。他会给女士开门，而且让女士先进入。男士也会走在更靠近街道的人行道。当穿过一条阶段或下楼梯时，男士会扶着女士。一个年轻人同样也会表示对年长者的尊敬，他们通过帮助他们做一些费体力的活或一些引发事故的活。
American surface informality often confuses the foreigner because he interprets it to mean no formality at all. He does not understand the point at which informality stops. A teacher, though friendly, pleasant, and informal in class, expects students to study hard, and he grades each student’s work critically and carefully. He also expects to be treated with respect. Although students are free to ask questions about statements make by the teacher, and may say that they disagree with what he says, they are not expected to contradict him. Similarly, in boy-girl relationships a foreign student should not mistake the easy relationship and flattery t
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