英语笑话.doc

一 three jokes
Workman: Mr. Brown, I should like to ask for a small rise in my wages. I have just been married.
Employer: Very sorry, my dear man, but I can’t help you. For accident which happen to our workman outside the factory we are not responsible.
工人：布朗先生，我想请您给我加一点工资。我刚刚结了婚。
老板：非常抱歉，老兄，但是我无能为力。对工人在厂外发生的事故我们概不负责。

A blond went into a pizza parlor. When she said that she’d like a medium pizza, the clerk asked her how many pieces she’d l like to have it cut into: six or twelve. “ Oh, goodness, six please,” said the blond, “I don’t think I could ever twelve.”
一位金发女郎走进一家披萨店，她说想要一个中等披萨，店员问她把披萨切成6块还是12块。“噢，天啊，请切成6块，”女郎说，“我可不认为我可以吃得下12块.”

“I had an operation,” said a man to his friend, “ and the doctor left a sponge in me.”
“That’s terrible!” said the friend, “ got any pain?”
“No, but I am always thirsty!”
一个人对他的朋友说：“我动了一个手术，手术后医生把一块海绵落在我的身体里了。”
“真是太糟糕了！”他的朋友说道，“你觉得疼吗？”
“不疼，可是我总感到口渴。”

二 7 classic film lines
1 Tomorrow is another day.
明天又是新的一天！
Gone with the Wind（乱世佳人）
2 There’s no place like home.
世上再没有像家一样的地方。
The Wizard of OZ（绿野仙踪）
3 Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.
世上有那么多城镇，城镇里有那么多酒馆，她却偏偏走进了我这一家。
Casablanca（卡萨布兰卡）
4 Bond, James Bond.
邦德，詹姆士. 邦德
Dr. No（NO博士）
5 I’ll be back.
我会回来的。
The Terminator（终结者）
6 Life was like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get.
生活就像一盒巧克力，你永远不知道你会得到什么。
Forrest Gump（阿甘正传）
7 They can take our lives, but they’ll never take our freedom.
他们能夺走我们的生命，但他们决不能夺走我们的自由。
Braveheart (勇敢的心)

三 An English song
Shining Friends

A little faith Brightens a rainy day
小小的信念 照亮那下雨天
Life is difficult you can't go away
生命难困苦、你总不能逃避
Don't hide yourself in the corner
不要躲在角落里
You have my place to stay
我的胸怀可让你倚靠
Sorrow is gonna say goodbye
忧伤终会跟你说再见
Opens up You'll see the happy sunshine
张开眼睛 你会看见快乐的阳光
Keep going on with your dream
继续追寻梦想
Chasing tomorrow's sunrise
向着明天的太阳追赶
The spirit can never die
不会逝去的、是信念与理想
Sun will shine, my friend
好朋友、太阳会闪耀
Won't let you cry, my dear
谁都不会令你流泪
Seeing you shed a tear makes my world disappear
你的一滴眼泪 都会让我的世界灰暗
You'll never be alone in darkness
在黑暗中、你永不会孤独
See my smile, my friend
好朋友、看我的笑颜
We are with you, holding hands
手牵手、我们和你一起走
you have got to believe, you are my destiny
在我宁静的心灵、你是我的信念与目标
We're meant to be your friends
我们永远都会在一起
That's what a friendship should be
因为我们是朋友

四 Animal phrases
Love me, love my dog. 爱屋及乌。
Every dog has his day. 凡人皆有得意之日。
All is fish that comes to his net. 抓到网里的便是鱼。
The best fish swim near the bottom. 好鱼居水底。
Never offer to teach fish to swim. 勿教鱼游泳，勿班门弄斧。
Lead a dog’s life 过穷困潦倒的生活
Paper tiger 纸老虎
Smell a rat 觉得可疑
As busy as a bee 极其忙碌
A dark horse 黑马（实力难测的竞争者）
An early bird 早起的人
Rain cats and dogs 倾盆大雨
The black sheep of the family 败家子
Make a pig of oneself 猛吃猛喝
Cannot say boo to a goose 极其胆小
Like a fish out of water 浑身不自在
Kill two birds with one stone 一石二鸟，一举两得
Put the cart before the horse 本末倒置
A snake in the grass 阴险而伪善的人
Let the cat out of the bag 泄露秘密
Crocodile tears 假慈悲
White elephant 累赘物