如何与叛逆期的孩子沟通？.doc

Each of the children to the junior stage appears youth rebellion period, the specific performance is: not willing to communicate with parents; grades remain stagnant, or even suffer a disastrous decline; parents let East, he is partial to. If the child into a rebellious period, parents should be how to guide him? How can we let him go through this stage? There is good communication needs and children. The following Xiaobian say parents should do:

1要了解青春期的心理特点

1 to understand the psychological characteristics of adolescents

青春期是孩子生理和心理都发生急剧变化的阶段，家长必须对孩子的心理特点有所了解，才能用正确的方式引导孩子。家长可以通过看书、咨询专家、咨询老师等方式了解孩子在青春期的心理特点，手中有了金刚钻才能揽好瓷器活，才能有针对性地搞好教育引导工作。

Adolescence is the child of physiological and psychological changes sharply stage, parents must understand the children's psychological characteristics, to guide their children in the right way. Parents can read a book, consulting experts, counseling teachers and other ways of understanding the psychological characteristics of children in adolescence, the hands of a diamond to embrace good porcelain live, can be targeted to improve the education guidance work.

2找孩子信服的人开导他

2 for the children convincing people to enlighten him

我们时常费劲心机、说尽好话，道理也都在理儿上，想着哪怕孩子听进去一句都会有好转，可这孩子就是油盐不进，就是要跟你对着干，那么说明什么呢？用句现在流行的话说——你不是他（她）的“菜”！所以就得给孩子换道菜，孩子听谁话你把谁请过来，换个环境换个角度给他（她）讲，效果会更好。

We often hard, put in a good word, truth are in truth, think even if children hear a word will be better, but this child is not into the oil and salt, is to do the opposite of what you want, then what? Using the words in the now familiar phrase -- you are not his (her) ""! So we have to give the children for dish, children who listen to the words you who you have come, change the environment change an angle to give him (her), the effect will be better.

3对孩子的期望值不要太高

3 the children's expectations are not too high

孩子毕竟是孩子，跟成年人比，他们经的事儿少，思考问题单纯幼稚，理解感悟层次较低，因此你不要想着抛块儿砖头就能马上引出个玉来，这粒种子就能按着你的思路开花结果。望子成龙成凤是家长的美好愿望，但毕竟对孩子的教育是个慢活，大人一定要耐着性子对他们，切不可大刀阔斧见什么不顺眼就砍，要像园丁培养花木一样，在孩子成长的过程中对他们小修小剪小扶持，等到他们逐渐成熟的时候，就是成龙成凤的时候。

Children will be children, with adults than they do, the child, think naive, understanding level is relatively low, so you don't want to throw brick draw jade pieces immediately, the seed can according to your idea blossom fruit. See into the Phoenix is the wishes of parents, but after all, on the education of their children is a slow, adults must have patience to them, must not make snap to see what is not pleasing to the eye cut, like the gardener cultivating flowers and trees, in the growing of children for their minor support small scissors, until they gradually mature, is Jackie Chan Cheng Feng's time.

4关心孩子看孩子需要什么

4 see what children need to care for children

随着孩子慢慢地长大，逐渐有了自己独立的思想，他们时不时地将自己的思想试探性地表露出来，却又遭到大人的忽视甚至否定，给孩子内心造成了一定程度的伤害，导致他们把自己封闭起来，并执拗地按着自己的想法行事，在大人眼中就成了叛逆。所以问题的根源就是我们大人跟孩子沟通不够，不知道他们需要什么，想干什么，假如我们了解了孩子的需要，并善待他们的思想，不好地及时引导，好的帮他们实施，孩子必然敞开心扉，给你当个快乐顺从的小绵羊。

As the child grows up slowly, gradually have their own independent thinking, they sometimes will surface thought tentative own exposed to, but it was the adults ignore or even deny, causing a certain degree of injury to the child heart, cause they closed up, and stubbornly according to their own idea of acting, in the eyes of adults became rebellious. So the root of the problem is that we adults to communicate with children is not enough, do not know what they need, what do I want to do, if we understand the needs of children, and to their thoughts, not good to timely guide, good to help them implement, the child will open your heart, give you a happy obedient little sheep.

5投其所好和孩子成为朋友

5 hit on what one likes and children become friends

平时孩子想什么喜欢什么一定要留意，即使你感到他的喜好很幼稚、很无趣，考虑到他是你的宝贝的份儿上，陪着他一块儿幼稚，一块儿疯吧，关键是这样以来，他就不会有跟你想不到一起，玩儿不到一块儿的代沟感。试着跟孩子交朋友吧，孩子需你这样。

Usually children want what like what we must pay attention to, even if you feel his preferences very naive, very boring, considering he is your baby's sake, accompany him together crazy, naive, is the key to this, he would not have to think with you together, playing no generation gap feeling. Try to make friends with the children, the children need you.

6多鼓励孩子增加他的自信

More than 6 children are encouraged to increase his self-confidence

很多孩子不是因为太自负，看不上大人的想法而执拗，而是在一些事情上受过挫折，缺乏自信，又因为受自尊心的趋势，将自己严实地包裹起来，拒绝他们的指导，怕自己做不好受更大的打击。为此我们就要对症下药，慢火煨汤，循序渐进，逐渐帮他们树立起自信心，让他们放心大胆地去尝试。

Many children not because of too conceited, not on the adult's idea and stubborn, but had several things in frustration, lack of self-confidence, but also because of his pride, tightly wrapped up, refused to guide them, afraid you do not feel greater blow. Therefore we want an antidote against the disease, soup, simmer slow step by step, gradually help them build up their confidence, let them rest assured that boldly to try.

7要改变和孩子说话的语气

7 to change the tone and children

我们家长在教育孩子上最大的错误就是有“一家之长”的霸权思想，不懂得平等地尊重孩子，总是高高在上，总是要“我说你听”，试想，我们每个成年人在工作单位看尽领导的强势，受够领导的压迫，内心都有反抗的思想，那种心态又怎忍心让你自己最爱的孩子去品尝，所以不要把单位领导的那一套学回家，平时多以朋友地姿态，和风细雨的方式沟通，让他们不再排斥你。

Our parents in the education of children on the biggest mistake is to have "a long" hegemonic ideology, do not know how to equal respect for the child, always superior, always "I said you listen", imagine, each of US adults as leadership of the powerful in the workplace, enough leadership of oppression, inner resistance thought, that kind of mentality and how to make yourself the most loving child to taste, so don't put that a unit under the leadership of the school, usually with a friend's attitude, communication and gentle way, let them not reject you.

8给孩子适当的空间和自由

8 to give the child the appropriate space and freedom

很多家长很想知道孩子在想什么干什么，就偷窥孩子的隐私，翻看他们的日记，用分机监听他们的电话，翻看孩子的手机短信，让孩子的同学老师给自己当间谍提供孩子的动向，一旦孩子知道，孩子会有种被扒光衣服的感觉，这种与家长以往建立起来的信任会顷刻间荡然无存，孩子内心会很难过，并从内心与家长敌对起来。给他们必要的空间和自由，尊重和相信他们，必然也会得到他们的尊重和信任。

Many parents want to know child to think what to do, can peep the privacy of the child, through their diary, with extension monitoring their phones, mobile phone short message at the child, let the child's classmates and teachers give their spy provides child trends, once the children know, the child will have a feeling of being stripped naked, the parents and the established trust will suddenly all gone, child heart will be very sad, and from the heart and the parents of hostilities. Give the necessary space and their freedom, respect and trust them, will get their respect and trust.