中英文化对比2.doc

Differences Between Chinese Marriage Custom and Western Marriage Custom
中西方婚俗的差异
Abstract
There are many procedures in Chinese marriage custom. The book propriety and ceremony, which records earliest wedding ceremony, says that marriage includes six etiquettes,
1 Namely
2 Proposing
3 Asking the name,
4 Asking for fortune,
5 Sending betrothal presents to the girl's family
6 Discussing the date of the marriage.
But I only want to talk the first three points. In western marriage, there are four procedures. They are proposal, changing surnames, choosing the day and holding the wedding. As the different religions, cultural origins, marriage concepts and geographies, there are many differences existing in the two kinds of marriage customs. In Chinese marriage custom, the matchmaker functions almost all the time and youths have no right to choose and women are not on an equal footing with men. By contrast, in western marriage custom, the priest functions and the youths have legal right to choose whom they want to marry and men and women are equal.
Key Words
Marriage custom; differences; reasons

摘　要
中国婚俗有着许多的仪式。最早记载婚礼习俗的《仪礼》云：“婚有六礼，1纳采、2问名、 3纳吉、4纳征、5请期、6亲迎。”但是在这我只想谈前三点。而在西方国家主要有4个程序，即建议，改姓，选期和举行婚礼。由于宗教、文化根源、婚姻观念以及地理环境的不同在一定程度上导致了中西方婚俗的不同。在中国婚俗中，媒人起着决定性的作用，而作为婚姻当事人的青年男女却没有选择的自由和权力，而且男女在婚姻中的不平等现象也屡有出现。 在西方，是牧师在婚姻中起作用，并且青年男女有合法的权力去选择自己的夫婿或妻子。
关键词
婚俗；差异；原因

Introduction
Marriage is formed in a long historical evolution of the marriage custom in a nation. It is the regularity of the activities that restrains people's awareness of marriage and marriage. Marriage custom’s binding does not depend on the law, and it can not rely on science tests neither, but on the force of habit, traditional culture and national psychology. During the development of human history the institution of marriage and family system has experienced different processes of development. Human have experienced group marriage, the dual system of marriage and individual marriage system (monogamy).
A. Proposing:
Proposing is the first etiquette in marriage and is the first meet between the members in the two families. Thus, it is very important. Using a common expression, it is making an offer of marriage to another family on behalf of the son or daughter.
B. Asking the Name
It aims to ask for girl’s name and pray.
In ancient times the girl’s name would not be known by other people until the girl was in an age of marriage.
C. Asking for Fortune
After asking the name, the bridegroom’s side had got the woman’s birthday and Eight-Characters and they went to consult a fortune-teller then which was called “asking for fortune”. It included two aspects of contents. One was consult the female virtues.
II. Western Marriage Custom
In the middle ages children were married at a young age. Girls were as young as 12 when they got married, and boys as young as 14. The arrangement of the marriage was based on monetary worth. The family of the girl who was to be married gave a dowry, or donation, to the boy she was to marry. The dowry went with her when the marriage was held and stayed with the boy forever after the marriage. After the marriage was arranged, a wedding notice was posted on the door of the church. The notice was put up to ensure that there were no grounds for prohibiting the marriage. The notice stated who was to be married, and if anyone knew any reasons that the two could not marry, they were to come forward with the reason. If the reason was a valid one the wedding would be prohibited.
A. Proposal
When the prospective groom had obtained his father’s consent to marry, a formal marriage proposal had to be made. The prospective groom did not propose in person but sent his friends or members of his family to represent his interest to the prospective bride and her family. If they saw a blind man, a monk or a pregnant woman during their journey, it was believed that the proposal would not be accepted as these signs were thought to bring bad luck. If, however, they saw nanny goats, pigeons or wolves, this was a good omen which would bring good fortune to the marriage.
During Medieval times in western countries, the man proposed by leaving a hawthorn branch at the door of his beloved on the first of May. By leaving the branch at the door she accepted his proposal. She made known her refusal by replacing the hawthorn branch with a cauliflower.
B. Changing Surnames
It was thought unlucky for a woman to marry a man whose surname began with the same letter as hers. The sentiment was summarized in the following thyme:
To change the name and not the letter is to change for the worst and not the better
The bride should not practice writing her new name before the wedding. This was thought to bring bad luck by tempting fate.
IV. Reasons for the Differences Above
A. Religions
Among all the religion by which people seek to worship, Christianity is by far the most influential in the west. Every phase of man’s life is touched by this religion, so much so that it has become part and parcel of western culture. British dominant religious belief is Christian faith; or rather the U.K. is a country of Christianity.
Bishop ordered marriage law as the fourth chapter in 1234. After issuing the law, it was carried on under the strong church control. In 1917, the marriage law referred: wedding ceremony should be held by priest or at least two witness; the willing should be true and not be forced.
Most Chinese people believes Buddhism which advocates “why and because relationship”. In this point of view, sky is the reason, and earth is the result; parents are the reason, and sons or daughters are the result; husband is the reason, and wife is the result.
B. Cultural Origins
Traditional Chinese traditional marriage custom was characterized by a distinctive patriarchal clan system. “Three obedience and four virtues” decided that women should become an appendage to the men and be subordinated to the family interest. It was also characterized by strong feudal political color. Marriage sometimes was a kind of ways to ally in political. The policy of cementing friendly relations through political marriages was a typical example in history. The traditional marriage custom was influenced deeply by Confucianism.
There sill exists differences between males and females in marriage custom today. This phenomenon is also caused by the traditional Chinese culture.
Western marriage custom is influenced deeply by religion, however, which emphasizes both men and women are God’s sons and daughters, so they are equal unlike Chinese who pay more attentions to boys. Western people consider girls are also the fruit of love.
Conclusion
Marriage custom in both China and western countries has gone through for a long time. As a most grand thing in people’s life, it has always attracted a high degree of attention.
In western countries, a valid marriage should experience proposal, surnames, choosing the day and holding the wedding.
These differences maybe will still exist for a long times between Chinese marriage custom and western marriage custom because it is not easy to change a kind of traditional culture or custom witch has remains for thousands of years.