托福写作之揭开高分作文的神秘面纱.docx

托福写作之揭开高分作文的神秘面纱
很多学生在托福学习过程中都有这样的感觉，其他的几个方面在短期训练中有所提高，唯独写作很难有个大的提高，尤其是基础相对薄弱的同学，达到了15分之后，很难再提高到一个新的高度了，一直在15分左右徘徊。

要知道托福写作考试中最主要考察大家的是什么，肯定很多同学会说是语法，词汇或英语的运用能力等，不可否认，这些知识对托福写作非常的关键，但最重要的是要写出真正的英语，也就是说尽量少出现中式英语的东西。

那如何能在短时间内避免出现中式英语的错误呢，最好的方法就是多收集这方面的材料，不要犯类似的错误。以下是我在授课当中发现一些同学在写作中经常容易犯的一些错误，希望对大家能有所帮助。

1. 概念的错误

在写作中，有类词语表面上看似乎是对的,但实际上却没有表达出你想要表达的意思,有时恰恰适得其反。用这类词语写成的英语句子常常引起误解。

① (误)When we go into society after graduation, we will encounter many difficulties.

(正)When we start to work after graduation, we will encounter many difficulties.

“go into society”没有汉语“进入社会”的含义。在西方,它是指一个人到一定的年龄可以开始社会交往,如结交异性朋友,进入某些社交或公共场所等。而汉语“进入社会”一般指学生中学或大学毕业后参加工作。

② (误)Left alone in the jungle at night ,she felt very dangerous.

(正)Left alone in the jungle at night, she felt t hat she was in great danger.

“dangerous”与作者要表达的意思完全相反。说某人dangerous,实际上是说他在某一方面对某人构成危胁,而不是处于危险的境地。这个词用错,意思就完全变了。原意是“她”感到处于危险中。

2、搭配不当

用词搭配是我国学生学英语最感棘手的地方,在托福写作中，这种错误也是经常出现的，所以希望大家引起重视，因为中文里的某些词语在不同的语境里,英语有不同的说法,而这些说法是约定俗成的,完全是习惯用法所致,我们稍有不慎,便会犯错。

① (误)At college, we should learn as much knowledge as possible so t hat we can be well prepared for our future career.

(正)At college, we should acquire as much knowledge as possible so t hat we can be well prepared for our future career.

“学习知识”是学生写作时经常用到的词组,但不少学生都写成learn knowledge,实际上knowledge是不能与learn搭配的,只能与acquire, obtain,absorb,accumulate ,develop,advance,gain,broaden ,enlarge,impart,derive ，deepen, brush up, digest 等词搭配使用。

② (误)In July, they will take part in the final term examinations.

(正)In July, they will take t he final term examinations.

“examination”或“test”不能与“take part in”搭配使用,但可以和attend, have, sit for, conduct, enter for, get through, pass, fail等词语用在一起。

3、 用词累赘

由于对某些词和词组的意思缺乏真正的理解或把要表达的意思先用中文想好,然后逐字翻译成英语,造成累赘。例如:

①(误)In my opinion, I think t he production and sale of fake commodities should be banned.

　　(正)I think t he production and sale of fake commodities should be banned.
　　in my opinion与I think意思完全相同,可以删去其中的一个。

② (误)Scientists are trying to find a solution to solve t he problem of energy shortage .

(正)Scientist s are trying to find a solution to t he problem of energy shortage.

一个词与它的派生词一起出现,造成意思重复,给人以累赘的感觉,改正后的句子变得简洁多了。

③ (误)Waste gas is t he main cause which leads to air pollution .

(正)Waste gas is t he main cause of air pollution.

cause和lead to都表原因,同时使用造成意思重复。

4、逗号连接错误。

我们学生在英语写作中常常单独使用逗号而不用句号、分号、冒号或连结词来连接两个或几个独立的分句。例如:

① (误)The weather was fine, we decided to climb t he mountain.

(正)As the weather was fine, we decided to climb t he mountain.

② (误)The prospects are bright, the road has twists and turns.

(正)While t he prospects are bright, the road has twists and turns.

上面两个标有误的句子在语法上没有错误,它错就错在逗号的使用不当。错误的根源是学生受汉语写作习惯的影响,把汉语逗号的作用等同于英语逗号的作用。在汉语中,逗号可以单独使用在并列分句之间。

1)变成两个简单句:

The wind was blowing very hard. They could not go boating on t he lake.

(2)变成并列句,用逗号加并列连接:

The wind was blowing very hard they could not go boating on t he lake.

(3)变成并列句,用分号连接:

The wind was blowing very hard; could not go boating on t he lake.

(4)变成并列句,用分号加连接性副连接:

The wind was blowing very hard , therefore, they could not go boating on lake.

(5)变成并列句,有时也可以用冒号接,这时第二个分句解释说明第一个分句

They could not go boating on the lake; the wind was blowing very hard.

(6)变成复合句:

As the wind was blowing very hard they could not go boating on t he lake.

(7)用独立主格结构改写句子:

　　The wind blowing very hard, they could not go boating on t he lake.

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