3-03-续写中的情感传递.docx

2023年新高考英语读后续写提分技能
3.03 续写中的情感传递
背景回顾
1

抒情是与叙事相对的概念。一般地说，抒情偏于表现作者自己的主观世界，叙事偏于再现客观世界；抒情偏于用话语的声音组织和画面来象征性地表现感情，叙事偏于用话语的意义来讲故事。抒情作为一种主观表现，并不脱离现实，而是对现实生活的反映与评价。感情源于对现实的感受，没有真实的生活感受，便没有真正价值的抒情。对现实感受的深浅，又往往取决于对现实认识的深浅程度。所以抒情总是包含着对现实的反映。抒情是一种特殊的反映方式，抒情反映的对象主要是社会生活的精神方面。现实生活并不只是物质生活，它害包括现实存在着的精神生活。文学抒情主要从一个侧面反映了特定的社会心理、精神状态与时代精神。抒情反映必带主观色彩，即情感反映了主体与对象之间的特定关系；抒情反映具有评价性，即抒情中所表现出来的赞美、向往、同情、憎恶等情感倾向都不同程度地含有对现实的价值判断。抒情也是对现实的一种意识中的改造：通过创造性想象，抒情主体把现实之物转化为贯注了主观情思的想象，使外在世界成为一个与内心世界协调融洽的审美世界。
高中英语读后续写是一种将语言输出与输入紧密结合、旨在加速提高学生语言运用能力的一种方法。读后续写的过程注重激发学生的写作热情，培养学习者写作目的意识、读者群意识以及写作方向意识，鼓励学生进行合作交流。纵观浙江卷高考英语读后续写试题，我们不难发现，读后续写在很大程度上也是在考查学生对故事情感的感知、理解与深层推理的能力，同时也体现了《普通高中英语课程标准（2017年版2020年修订）》（以下简称《课程标准》）在学业质量评价的要求。
《课程标准》在“学业质量”部分指出，高中英语学业质量以学生在语言能力、文化意识、思维品质和学习能力等方面的核心素养为基础，结合高中英语课程标准的内容以及高中学生英语学习的进阶情况，重点描述高中学生在特定问题情境中运用英语解决问题的能力和表现。同时，课程标准也将“学业质量水平”设置为三个水平，并明确指出“水平二”是英语高考命题的主要依据。“水平二”对书面表达的“质量描述”如下：
表1：高中英语学业质量水平二（节选）
序号
质量描述
2-13
能在书面表达中有条理地描述自己或他人的经历，阐述观点，表达情感态度；能描述事件发生、发展的过程；能描述人或事物的特征、说明概念；能概述所读语篇的主要内容或续写语篇。
2-14
能在表达过程中有目的地选择词汇和语法结构，确切表达意思，体现意义的逻辑关联性；能使用多模态语篇资源，达到特殊的表达效果。
例如， 2021年1月浙江省高考英语读后续写遵循了课程标准学业质量“水平二”2-13所强调的对人物的经历、情感态度、事件发展的过程及特征等的表达能力的考查。这在很大程度上引发了学生结合自己的人生经历、对家庭情感的进一步的回顾与思考。特别是在家庭生活的重要时刻，如重大的节假日，家庭成员之间的情感的维系与表达方式等。例如，此次读后续写的原文的第二段中的“All of us were hard at work at the kitchen table, with my mom filming the annual event”这一句，刻画了节日来临之时家庭内部成员关系融洽、家庭生活多彩的氛围，这就为后文以及续写中，学生该如何处理意外引发的情感变化，提供了一个思考的基础。
方法策略
2

读后续写教学需要情感培养，通过情感上 的共鸣，学生才能对给定的文章进行续写。如果没有进行情感渗透，那么学生在学习的过程中，只是将知识和技能进行浅层的提升，对于读后续写的认知程度只停留在完成基本任务的 阶段，没有进行情感的深层体验，这样学生就 会缺乏对读后续写学习的整体兴趣和积极性。 情感对于教学的影响看似无用，但是其实际的影响十分深远，可以影响到学生对课程的整体态度，而态度决定行为，行为决定结果，如果 教师不进行情感培养，读后续写教学的效果必 定会受到影响。所以，在读后续写教学过程中，教师不能只注重知识和能力的培养，还要关注学生的情感体验和升华，积极引导学生以开朗的心态接纳读后续写教学，从而帮助学生不断提升自身英语语言能力。
情感表达是读后续写任务解决的必要手段之一。实际上，英语读后续写源语篇中有大量的表达情感的细节刻画。例如：
“Tom! ”she cried. “Help!”（2016年10月，浙江卷）[害怕/担忧]
If only she had not left her mobile phone in that bag with Tom. （2016年10月，浙江卷）[遗憾/后悔]
Mac’s heart jumped. （2017年6月，浙江卷）[恐惧/害怕]
I had an interesting childhood. It was filled with surprises and amusements, all because of my mother---loving, sweet, yet absent-minded and forgetful.（2017年11月，浙江卷）[开心/幸福]
“I'm going to miss you so much, Poppy, "said the tall, thin teenager. He bent down to hug his old friend goodbye. He stood up, hugged his parents, and smiled, trying not to let his emotions(情绪)get the better of him.（2020年1月，浙江卷）[依依不舍]
“I wish you could see him,” she said to her own children, John, Harry, and Clara. “He is such a help to his mother. He wants very much to earn some money, but I don't see what he can do.”（2020年，新高考I卷）[同情]
It was tiring work, but I looked forward to the pay, even though I wasn't sure how much it would amount to.（2021年6月，浙江卷）[坚定决心]
人物情感变化历程的自主探究示例
下面我们将结合2021年1月浙江省英语高考读后续写试题的分析为例，简要谈谈读后续写是如何依据课程标准的评价要求、在亲情传递的过程中促进学生的思维认知能力提升的。
2021年1月浙江卷读后续写为记叙文。文章以第一人称的角度叙述了一个作者万圣节去农场里采摘南瓜，制作万圣节南瓜灯，参与选拔赛，但是作者不知道南瓜的重量，于是为了证明自己胜出就把头伸进南瓜，但最终作者的头卡在掏空的南瓜里面了。这篇文章以“头试南瓜---身陷窘境---智取脑袋---分享经历”为故事主线，以“兴奋---焦虑---害怕---释然”这条情感线为辅线，向读者呈现由窘态变趣味的故事。该续写以作者的情感变化为主要考查角度，展现了家庭内部的日常生活乐趣，并进而通过关键词提示以及细节刻画，能引发学生关于如下问题的思考：
1.家庭与个人需要之间的矛盾如何处理？
文章第一个提示词“pumpkin”是本文的主题词之一，全文的故事就是围绕这个词展开的，同时这个词也预示了作者与弟弟之间的冲突产生的根源。而提示词“dad”“Jason”与“mom”也进一步引发学生对家庭成员之间的日常的交往活动的思考。“pumpkin”与三位家庭成员的关键词提示，能引发学生进一步思考如何在家庭生活中正确地处理个人的需求与家庭成员之间的矛盾，从而让学生能在续写中围绕与家庭成员之间的关系处理，来合理地展开故事的延续。
2.年长子女如何维系与弟妹之间的亲情？
文章第一段中的“In the pumpkin field, I compete with my three brothers and sisters”、第二段中的“This year, it was hard to tell whether my prize or the one chosen by my 14-year-old broher, Jason, was the winner”以及第四段中的“...with Jason helping to support the weight, I bent back over the table to give it somewhere to rest”这三处叙述，给学生展现了作为家里的年长子女的作者，与自己的弟弟Jason之间的冲突与友爱，进而能引发学生进一步思考：在自己深陷困境的情况下，自己的对手来帮助自己，自己该如何应对？结合文章的家庭成员关键词提升，这一问题将直接影响续写第一段的细节刻画：Jason能帮作者完全摆脱困境吗？Dad与Mom又有何反应呢？
3.心理落差的负面情绪该如何正确释放？
根据文章第一段最后一句中的“...as the eldest child I have an advantage”，我们可以体会到作者对自己是家里年长的子女的优越感与自信。但是，第四段尾句中的“...my voice sounding unnaturally loud in the enclosed space”却将这种优越感与自信完全吞没了。那么，这一心理落差又该如何应对呢？结合续写第一段中的“...it felt much longer”这一焦虑心态的刻画，以及续写第二段首句的新的信息“That video”，学生会进一步思考在续写部分作者该如何通过合理的方式，释放这种负面情绪。
实践强化
3

1．（2022·河北石家庄·二模）阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
Ollie Simmons was good at maths, but Ruby Riley wasn’t. Well, Ruby didn’t think she was. She sat next to Ollie and so she just copied him. This was the best way she had found to do maths and she didn’t have to think at all.
One day the teacher said, “We will be having a maths test after lunch.” Ruby felt there was a moth moving its wings inside her. “Can I copy off you?” she whispered to Ollie. Ollie thought for a minute. “What will you give me?” he whispered back. Ruby showed Ollie a stone she had. It was round and smooth and the colour of the sea. “OK!” he said, “Give me the stone, and then you can copy me.” Ollie Simmons got one hundred percent in the maths test and so did Ruby. Their names went on the top of the maths champs chart.
Every week there was a maths test and every week Ollie Simmons and Ruby Riley got one hundred percent. Ollie had to share the top place with Ruby, but it was worth it. He had a torch, a key chain, a golf ball and a gift box!
One day, there was a maths test again. This time, Ruby picked a watch, thinking everything would go as usual—Ollie would let her copy and they would go on the top of the chart together again. But she was wrong. The headmaster came into Ruby’s class. “I want to see Ollie Simmons,” she said. Ollie was gone for a long time. Then the door opened. It was the headmaster again. “Ruby Riley,” she said, “Come with me, please.” Ruby felt like a bird in a cage—there was no way to escape. The headmaster told Ruby that every lunchtime for five weeks she had to do maths. “You have to learn to think for yourself,” she said. “And Ollie has to learn a lesson, too. He’s going to teach you.”
注意：1. 续写词数应为150左右；
2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Ollie was mad at Ruby for getting him into trouble.
___________________________________________________
Ollie proved to be a good teacher for Ruby.
_________________________________________
【答案】
Ollie was mad at Ruby for getting him into trouble. Hanging her head down, Ruby felt so regretful and shameful in that she realized it was her fault that put them into this situation. “I am so sorry that I’d like to make a sincere apology to you.” Shaking her head, Ruby turned to Ollie with tears. Seeing this situation, Ollie felt his cheeks burning with fire and started to comfort Ruby. “We’re supposed to make up for this fault together.” Ruby wiped her tears and was determined to spare no effort to learn math with Ollie.
Ollie proved to be a good teacher for Ruby. As time went by, with the assistance of Ollie, Ruby’s academic performance of math had become higher and higher. Ultimately, Ollie Simmons and Ruby Riley got one hundred percent in the final examination once again. But this time, the headmaster expressed the warm congratulations to them sincerely. “Congratulations on you! You’ve really done a good job and I am so proud of you.” the headmaster said excitedly. They felt extremely delighted while hearing what the headmaster said and became the best and closest friends. What an unforgettable and meaningful experience!
【写作解析】本文以人物为线索展开，讲述了Ruby请求同桌Ollie在数学考试时让自己抄袭，并答应Ollie送他礼物，因此两人每周数学测验都获得了满分。校长发现他们考试抄袭这件事后，要求Ruby连续五周在午餐时间学习数学，并让Ollie帮助她。
1 段落续写：
①由第一段首句内容“Ollie因为Ruby给他惹麻烦而生气。”可知，第一段可描写Ruby后悔给Ollie带来麻烦，所以向他道歉，然后下定决心努力学好数学。
②由第二段首句内容“Ollie证明了自己是Ruby的好老师。”可知，第二段可描写在Ollie的帮助下，Ruby的数学进步很大，两人得到了校长的表扬，也因此成为了最好的朋友。
2. 续写线索：道歉——安慰——努力学习——取得进步——得到表扬——感受
3. 词汇激活
行为类：①道歉：make an apology to sb./apologize to sb./say sorry to sb.；②安慰：comfort/cheer up；③努力：spare no effort/try one’s best
情绪类：①后悔的：regretful/sorry；②开心的：delighted/chuffed/cheerful/pleased
【典型句式】
[句型1]. Hanging her head down, Ruby felt so regretful and shameful in that she realized it was her fault that put them into this situation.(现在分词作状语和it was…that…强调句型)
[句型2]. I am so sorry that I’d like to make a sincere apology to you. (连词so…that引导的结果状语从句)
[句型3]. They felt extremely delighted while hearing what the headmaster said and became the best and closest friends.(while引导的时间状语从句的省略和what引导的宾语从句)
2．（2022·山东菏泽·二模）阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
Gemma jumped off the school bus feeling thoroughly miserable. Today had been one of the worst days of her life. How could she show her face at school ever again? It was a total shame. She would not face her classmates at all next Monday morning.
Gemma walked slowly up the tree-lined hill toward the park. She needed time alone to think and cry. Her mom wouldn’t be home from work for another hour or so and she needed fresh air and sunlight after being in school all day. She needed so much more than that; what she needed was a brain transplant. Reading out loud in class today had been terrifying, annoying, embarrassing; she hated every moment of it. She was sweating, her voice shook, her face flushed red, and her heart pounded uncontrollably. Breathing normally was simply impossible in the fear and panic she felt. Gemma wished the ground had opened up and swallowed her whole, which would have been preferable She stood before the class feeling like a fool. She had heard the whispered comments between her classmates, and had seem the look on her English teacher’s face as she went back to her seat.
Gemma headed for the bench in the walled rose garden that she often visited, as far away from people as possible. She took off her heavy backpack and put it down heavily on the hard seat. The backpack was full of school books and she was glad to get it off her shoulders. She never wanted to go back to school. She sighed deeply, buried her face in her hands, and began to sob in despair. She was sure other kids didn’t have this problem. Some of her classmates even looked like they were enjoying reading out loud and took great delight in being the center of attention. Gemma didn’t know what she was going to do.
“Hello, are you alright, dear?” Startled (惊吓), Gemma abruptly pulled her hands away from her face and looked up in the direction of the voice, embarrassed that someone had seen her crying.
注意：1. 续写词数应为150左右；
2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Paragraph 1:
Unexpectedly, her English teacher came up and watched her with kindness and concern.
______________________________________________________
Paragraph 2:
Gemma walked home feeling like she was walking a little taller and there was a spring in her steps.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
【答案】
Unexpectedly, her English teacher came up and watched her with kindness and concern. Sitting down on the bench, next to Gemma, the teacher patted her shoulder gently, saying, “I know you were just too nervous, but it’s okay. Actually, most of us, like you, once experienced reading setbacks in public. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect. With more practice, you’re sure to make it next time, aren’t you?” Her English teacher had a long heart-to-heart talk with Gemma. Realizing her lack of practice, Gemma felt a sudden sense of relief. She was aware of what to do then. When they walked out of the rose park hand in hand, Gemma felt like a wholly different figure.
Gemma walked home feeling like she was walking a little taller and there was a spring in her steps. Today, what her teacher said made her think a lot. She had already got a detailed plan on what to do next. Now she began to practise reading out loud at mirror in her room time and again. “What are you doing, Gemma?” Her mother’s antious voice came from the door. Gemma told mum what had happened. Her mum gave Gemma a big thumb-up and encouraged her to overcome the difficulty bravely.
【写作解析】本文以人物为线索，主要讲述杰玛觉得自己在全班面前大声朗读的表现非常糟糕而暗自伤心哭泣，随后被英语老师发现了，老师安慰和鼓励她只要多加练习就能表现得更好，杰玛便释怀了，并制定计划努力练习，还得到了妈妈的鼓励。
1. 段落续写
①由第一段首句“出乎意料的是，她的英语老师走了过来，和蔼而关切地看着她”可知，第一段可以围绕老师如何安慰杰玛以及杰玛的回应和举措从神态、动作、语言等方面展开描写。为与下一段首句呼应，杰玛肯定感到释怀了。
②由第二段首句“杰玛走回家，感觉自己越发昂首阔步，脚步变得轻快许多”可知，第二段可围绕杰玛释怀后如何锻炼自己的朗读水平来描写，与此同时，还可以描写杰玛的母亲对杰玛刻苦练习的肯定和鼓励。
2. 续写线索：安慰杰玛——释然——练习朗读——家人鼓励
3. 词汇激活
行为类：①意识到：realize/be aware of/recognize；②鼓舞：encourage/cheer；③克服：overcome/conquer/surmount
情绪类：①紧张的：nervous/anxious/tense；②勇敢地：bravely/boldly/fearlessly/courageously
【典型句式】
【句型1】Today, what her teacher said made her think a lot.（运用了what引导的主语从句）
【句型2】Gemma told mum what had happened.（运用了what引导的宾语从句）
3．（2022·河北·模拟预测）阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
One day, father, mother and I were on our way to Hubble's store on the Main Street to get those things needed for the upcoming Christmas. As we passed Eaton's department store, we stopped as usual to do a bit of window shopping.
“What a silly dress!” mother suddenly pointed to a dress in the fancy window. “Who would need such a big red dress?”
Then, totally out of character, father went to mother and started dancing on the sidewalk as if they were at a dancing party.
“Dear, it is for dancing parties,” father laughed. “I hope I could buy it for you as a Christmas gift.”
“Oh, stop that!” she ordered and her cheeks became redder than usual. Mother, of all people, was not one to spend money on things that were not practical. “There are things we need more than this.”
As we continued down the street, mother turned back many times. “My goodness! They should show something a person really needs!”
But father liked buying something that mother might not really need, whenever the budget allowed. Of course, he'd get a scolding, but it was all done with the best intention.
Like the time he brought home the electric stove years ago. In our old kitchen, mother was still cooking year-round on a wooden stove. In summer the kitchen would be so hot that even the houseflies wouldn't come inside. One day, Dad surprised her with a fancy new electric stove. She protested, saying that the wooden stove cooked just fine, that the electric stove was too dear and that it would cost too much to run it. Since then she only u