文学翻译 第一次作业.doc

1
Mr Wu Mi is like nothing on earth: once seen, never forgotten. There are some people one has to be introduced to a hundred times, and on the hundredth and one time one has to be introduced again. Their faces are so ordinary; no mannerisms, no “anything”, just plain Jack, Tom and Harry. But Mr Wu’s face is worth a fortune: it is peculiar to the point of caricature. A head shaped like a bomb, and just as suggestively explosive, gaunt wan in color, with hair threatening to break out all over the face, but always kept well within bounds by a clean shave every morning, rugged, with very prominent cheek-bones and sunken cheeks, and eyes which stare at one like glowing coals --- all this set on a neck too long by half, and a thin body, as strong and as little elastic as rod of steel.
吴宓先生可谓当今世上独一无二：你见过一面，就永世难忘。有些人即使被介绍过一百次后，一百零一次见面时还需再介绍。他们的脸实在是太平凡了：毫无个性可言，简直就是“一无所有”，仅仅是平常人张三、李四或王五罢了。而吴先生的相貌可谓是得天独厚：奇绝得犹如一幅漫画。他的脑袋型似一枚快要爆炸的炸弹，面容苍白、憔悴。胡须有蔓延全脸之势，但是每天造成都要刮得干干净净。他面容粗犷，颧骨高起，两颊深陷，一双眼睛好似燃烧的炭火，灼灼逼人。所有的这一切都安在一个过长的脖子上。他身材瘦高，但同样强壮的像一根难以伸缩的钢棍。

翻译日志
当过北京大学英文系主任的温源宁，1934年有一篇著名文章《Mr Wu Mi，a Scholar and a Gentleman》（吴宓先生，一位学者和君子），发表在《中国评论周报》的“亲切写真”栏目。劈头一句便是“Mr Wu Mi is like nothing on earth：once seen，never forgotten.”。
吴宓(1894-1978)，陕西省泾阳县人。字雨僧、玉衡，笔名余生，中国现代著名西洋文学家、国学大师、诗人。国立东南大学(49年更名南京大学)文学院教授(1926-1928) ，国立西南联合大学外文系教授，1941年当选教育部部聘教授。清华大学国学院创办人之一，学贯中西，融通古今，被称为中国比较文学之父。与陈寅恪、汤用彤并称“哈佛三杰”。著作有《吴宓诗集》、《文学与人生》、《吴宓日记》等。
这是一篇人对吴宓先生肖像的描写，通过分析，这段材料大的语言比较幽默，生动形象的描绘出了吴宓先生的头部特征，所以在翻译过程中也要把其中的幽默成分恰如其分的译出来。
这样的描写很让吴宓本人生气，在日记里痛骂温源宁是“刻薄小人”。
开头首先对吴宓做了一个概括，从总体上表达了他与其他人的不同，从这过渡到对他面部及其他部位的描写，运用了比喻、夸张的比喻手法。
第一句的翻译强调了世上只有一个吴宓先生，强调了他的独特性，所以我把它以为了“独一无二”。
第三句just plain Jack, Tom and Harry，我译为仅仅是平常人张三、李四或王五罢了。因为如果直译，译成仅仅是平常人杰克、汤姆或亨利罢了，不符合汉语的说法，这句话所要表达的是其他人没有什么特点，就是与大家一样的寻常人，汉语中经常用张三李四来代替一些不知道确切名字的平常人。
But Mr Wu’s face is worth a fortune: it is peculiar to the point of caricature. worth a fortune 我采用了意译，从字面上理解是具有价值，但是放在这里不太恰当，所以我翻译成得天独厚。
Hair是头发，根据这句话所要表达的意思，头发不可能长得满脸都是，所以我译成胡须。
Threatening:危险的，胁迫的，译成这样不太适合，我觉得不必直白的非要译出来。
Rugged崎岖的，凹凸不平的，也形容（男子）粗犷的。
Stare at one凝视着某人，在这里想表达的是吴宓的眼睛很有神。
赏析 林语堂译吴宓篇
1)
林语堂译本: 世上只有一个吴雨生，叫你一见不能忘.
江枫译本:吴宓先生,举世无双,见过一次,永生难忘.
原文:Mr. Wu Mi is like nothing on earth: once seen, never forgotten.
2)
林语堂译本: 雨生的脸到是一种天生禀赋，恢奇得像一幅讽刺画.
江枫译本:吴先生的相貌却价值连城，怪异得就像一幅漫画
原文:Mr. Wu's face is worth a fortune: it is peculiar to the point of caricature.
3)
林语堂译本: 脑袋形似一颗炸弹，而一样的有爆炸性.
江枫译本: 脑袋的外形像颗炸弹，也像炸弹一样随时都有可能爆炸.
原文: A head shaped like a bomb, and just as suggestively explosive.....

4)
林语堂译本: 面是瘦黄，胡须几有随时蔓延全局之势，但是每晨刮得整整齐齐.
江枫译本:憔悴，苍白，头发似乎就要披散下来，亏得天天早上都要剃须，还保持着一张脸面清楚的边界.
原文:.... gaunt, wan in color,with hair threatening to break out all over the face, but always kept well within bounds by a clean shave every morning
5)
林语堂译本: 面容险峻，颧骨高起，两颊瘦削
江枫译本:脸上多皱，颧骨高耸，两颊下陷
原文:...rugged, with very prominent cheek-bones and sunken cheeks
6)
林语堂译本: 一对眼睛亮晶晶的像两粒灼光的煤炭
江枫译本: 盯着人看的一双眼睛像是烧红了的两粒煤球
原文: and eyes which stare at one like glowing coals
7)
林语堂译本: 这些都装在一个太长的脖子上及一副像枝铜那样结实的身材上
江枫译本: 这一切全都支撑在比常人长一半的脖颈上，瘦削的躯体活像一根坚固、梆硬的钢条
原文: all this set on a neck too long by half: and a thin body, as strong and as little elastic as a rod of steel

2
He wasn't sure what had awakened him. Perhaps the child had made some small noise in her sleep. But as he peeked from beneath the covers, his gaze was drawn not to the cradle but to the window.
It was then that he realized what had sneaked through the shield of his slumbers. It was the sense of falling snow.
Quietly, so as not to disturb the child's mother, he rose from the bed and inched toward the cradle. Reaching down, he gently lifted the warm bundle to his shoulder. Then, as he tiptoed from the bedroom, she lifted her head, opened her eyes and - daily dose of magic - smiled up at her dad. 　
He carried her downstairs, counting the creaks on the way. Together, they settled in at the kitchen table, and the adult in him slipped away. Two children now, they pressed their noses against the glass.
The light from the street lamp on the corner filtered down through the birch trees, casting a glow as green as a summer memory upon the winter-brown back yard. From the distance came the endless echo of the stoplight, flashing its ruby message, teasing like a dawn that would not come.
The flakes were falling thick and hard now, pouring past the window, a waterfall of mystery. Occasionally, one would stick to the glass, as if reluctant to tumble to its fate. Then, slowly, slipping and sliding down the glass, it would melt, its beauty fleeting. Gone.
Within an hour, a white tablecloth was spread upon the lawn. And as gray streaks of dawn unraveled along the black seam of the distant hills, father and daughter watched the new day ripple across the neighborhood.
他不清楚是什么吵醒了他。也许是孩子睡梦中的几声呓语吧。他在被子里看向摇篮中的女儿，但目光却被窗子深深吸引住了。
这时他明白了是飘雪的气息潜入了他的梦乡。
为了不吵醒孩子的母亲，他小心翼翼地从床上下来，慢慢地走向摇篮。弯下身子，轻轻的将孩子连同包被一起抱起来，踮着脚走出卧室。这时，女儿抬了抬小脑袋，睁开了眼睛，冲父亲甜甜的一笑----女儿的微笑对父亲来说是多么美妙啊。
他抱着女儿下楼来，一步步默数着台阶。他们坐在了厨房的餐桌旁，仿佛又找到了童年时的快乐。他们把鼻子都贴在玻璃上了，像两个孩子似的。
街角处路灯的光线透过桦树的枝叶落在冬季灰暗的后院，洒下一片淡淡的绿色，宛如美好的仲夏之夜。远处，交通灯不停闪烁着，发出好似红宝石般艳丽的光芒，仿佛在戏弄着那迟迟到来的黎明。
雪下了厚厚一层，飘飘扬扬地划过窗前，像一条神秘的瀑布。偶然有一片雪花粘在玻璃上，好像不甘于落入泥土的命运。慢慢地从窗上滑落，融化，它的美丽瞬间消逝不见了。
不到一个小时，草坪就像铺上了一块洁白的台布。一道道灰蒙蒙的曙光沿着远处幽暗的山峰铺散开来。父女俩就看见新的一天向邻舍蔓延开来。
翻译日志
本文是乔纳森·尼古拉斯(Jonathan Nicholas)的初雪(First Snow)，描写了他一觉醒来看到窗外下起了雪，不禁被雪景深深地吸引。语言温暖，情感真挚。
Sneak：偷偷地，在这里显然不合适，他所要表达的是窗外的雪花飘入了他的梦乡，吵醒了他。杜甫的《春夜喜雨》中不是也有“随风潜入夜，润物细无声”么。
lifted the warm bundle to his shoulder：the warm bundle是孩子连同包孩子的小被子一同抱起。
“she lifted her head, opened her eyes and - daily dose of magic - smiled up at her dad. ”我觉得这一句充满了温情，在这初雪的清晨，窗外屋内一片寂静，女儿的笑脸就像是每天给他带来美味享受。　
counting the creaks on the way：creak是形容下楼梯时的咯吱咯吱声，不能译成数着台阶的咯吱声，所以我就处理成了数着台阶。
and the adult in him slipped away，成熟从他的身体中溜走，可以从另一面考虑就是他的心里现在又充满了童真，所以下文说现在是两个孩子。
teasing like a dawn that would not come：tease是戏弄，嘲弄，我认为前面提到了街角的路灯光，路上闪烁的交通灯，以及雪的映衬仿佛不需要黎明的曙光。里面传达出一种明快。