寂寞之上没有更上的寂寞.doc

寂寞之上没有更上的寂寞

The Heart of Loneliness is Loneliness of the Heart

作为社会中的人，常常会有这样的感觉---

As a society being, people often have such feelings ---

在酒吧中坐着，灯红酒绿闹热中，会突然孤独得浑身发冷，感到那是别人的氛围，是别人调配的一坛盐水，而自己只是一只带泥的萝卜，被腌渍之后，身上仅有的一些汁液，也被盐水虹吸出体外，抽缩得越来越小。从此便找不到自尊的影子。

Sitting in a bar amid the hustle and bustle of downtown luxury, you will suddenly feel cold loneliness and find that it is someone else's atmosphere. I am as if a muddy radish and pickled in a jar of salt water that other people prepare it. The only juice of my body has been also siphoned out, shrunk smaller and smaller. Since then I can not find the shadow of self-esteem.

偎在沙发的软窝中，厮守着一爿令人眼花缭乱的屏幕。屏幕像个魔镜，方寸之间，拨弄着整个世界的物与事、是与非，富足得遍地金银，生动得满目时尚。但是，渐渐地，无聊和寂寞弄得你无法忍耐，无论你怎么变换频道，懊丧总是锁定在心中。总感到那是别人的风景，那铺天盖地的绚烂，让你无所适从。汪曾祺在《泰山片石》中说过类似的感受---泰山固然伟大，但我个体弱的小老头，横竖拿它没办法，便望而却步，便心存忧郁。

Cuddling in the soft sofa, I watch the dazzling screen. The screen is like a magic mirror which shows what there is and what happens in the world, what is right and what is wrong, what is incredibly rich and what is vivid fashion. But, gradually, your patience had been eaten away by the boredom and loneliness. No matter how keep changing channels, the dejected mood always hided in your hearts. What I have seen is always someone else's landscape. It's so overwhelming gorgeous that I don't know what to do. Wang Zeng-qi had expressed his similar feelings in the Tarzan and stones --- Taishan is of course great, but I am a small weak old man, unable to climb the top of the mountain , instead give it up, and hence sink into melancholy

这也正如密密的雨脚之中，远处的楼宇虽然有着阔大的屋檐，但给你的却是阴郁的忧愁；因为近处的你，当下的需要，仅仅是一把小小的伞而己。如此说来，个体生命为何常感到孤独、寂寞、忧伤和无奈？盖因身外的世界太热闹了，环境的浮躁使人不能清静自守，煽起了人们更多的欲望。然而世间遍地都是诱人的货色，且都在个人拥有之外。于是，在迷惘中生出酽茶一般的凄凉便是很自然的事。在欲望中的人，谁能忍受自己拥有的太少？失落之中，一种叫卑微的东西，便如影随形了。

This is also like you seeking shelter in the heavy rain: the building with a large wide eave in the far distance presents you just a gloomy picture, but what you strongly need right now in is only a small umbrella. This shows that individual lives why often feel loneliness, sadness and helpless. It is because the exciting and superficial world has greatly incited people's desire, and rendered them unable to remain what they are. But this world is full of alluring stuff everywhere, but nothing is in their possessions. Thus, It is a very natural thing to have a kind of feeling of desolation in the disentrancement. As for the people driven by strong desire who can still be content with the little things they have. In frustration, a sort of humbleness accompanies everywhere.

但有些人，却不被这种卑微所折磨，比如文人---

But some people are not tortured by this humbleness, such as writers ---

阳光洒在玻璃窗上，毛茸茸的，即便在房间的最暗处，也感到温暖；书册斜在架上，沉寂寂的，即便是在远望上一眼，也有徜徉于字里行间的快感。不在于阳光有黄金的质地，也不在于书册有岁月的格调，而在于他们的需要比较单纯。简单的生活欲求，使文人心不旁蝥、不觊觎，其精神世界可自给自足，心中饱满，寂寞着也快乐着。

For them, the seemingly fluffy sunlight has warmed up the body even in the darkest room. The books are lying quietly on the shelves, and just glance at it from afar will give you the pleasure and quietness as if wandering around between the lines. What is important is not the sun with gold texture, nor the books embody the nature of time, but rather more is their simple needs. A simple desire of life will not distract their mind and covet others. They are satisfied in their spiritual world, loneliness but happy.

这种情形，给人一种有益的启示：身外的颜色再好，世间的诱惑再多，如果视而不见，不为之所动，潜心过属于自己的日子，所谓凄凉，所谓迷惘，所谓失落，也就离你远去。年老体弱的汪曾祺在面对巍峨的泰山望而却步之后，并没有因此而自哀自怜，而是淡然一笑，拉着他的腻友林斤澜在泰山脚下喝黄酒。看着艰难跋涉的青年人，他甚至很得意：你看，咱拿泰山没办法，可它拿咱也没办法；咱虽然没能得到攀登之乐，但咱享受到了饮者的乐趣。

他当时说了一句俚语，即：人生在世，不能小鸡吃黄豆---强驽。就是说，人要有自知之明，处世做人，要量力而行，不强求自己能力之外的物事。

This situation gives a useful insight: however alluring and profuse the temptation in the real world, the so called desolate, confusion and the sense of loss will cease to bother us if we ignore them and live our own life. The frail elderly man Wang Zengqi had not felt self-pity in the face of Mount Tai but rather show an indifferent smile, and took his friend Lin Jinlan drinking rice wine at the foot of Mount Tai. Watching the young people trudging long on the trail, he even feels proudly: Yes. I can not enjoy climbing the top of the mountain as the young people, so what? I can enjoy the pleasure of drinking. When he summed up slang, namely: in life we can not strain too much like a chick trying to gulp down the soybeans. That is, one must know what his limit and act accordingly without straining and doing something beyond him. .

这是一种生活智慧。

This is a wisdom of life.

安于自己的人生理想，安于自己的生活趣味，还有什么不可释怀的苦恼？

揣度一下，感到他的这种睿智，缘于两种途径：一是他本人的人生阅历，及建立在这个基础之上的理性思考，通过读他的书，知道他是个喜欢“琢磨“生活的人。二是他饱经了书香的滋养，是个能够静下心来读书的人，书页中悠远的文化信息，被他“化”为自己的生命细胞---不拥有森林，未必就不能闻松香。

What kinds of distress can not relieve if we stick to our ideal and content with what we enjoy in life.

On reflection I think he had his wisdom in two sources: First, his own life experience and rational thinking based on his experience. He liked to ponder over his life by reading his book. Second, the perception he developed from the myriad of book he had read. He was among those who could settle to book, and the cultural messages from the remote past had been assimilated into the very fiber of his being. As the saying goes: you don’t have to be in the forest to enjoy the fragrance of pine.

知堂在《自己的园地》旧序》中说：“我因为寂寞，在文学上寻求慰安......得到了相当的效果了。反正寂寞之上没有更上的寂寞。”依照这样的逻辑，悲苦之上没有更上的悲苦，失意之上没有更上的失意----人只要定低了生活标杆，缩减了对身外的欲求，细小的所有，就是大有；些微之所得，便会得到大的满足。

Zhitang said in the The Old preface to My Own Garden :" I am seeking comfort in literature out of loneliness, ...... and achieve considerable effects. Anyway, the heart of loneliness is the loneliness of heart. In accordance with this logic, there is no more misery beyond misery, and no more dejection beyond dejection ---- As long as set a low benchmark of life, curb the desire of material pursuing, meager possessions will become great wealth, and little gains will get great satisfaction.

海德格尔也说过：人诗意地栖居于世上之时，静静地听着风声也能体味到真正的快乐。他的话在一个叫梭罗的美国人那里得到验证。梭罗离群索居于一个叫瓦尔登湖的地方，在只拥有基本生存条件的情形下，居然快乐地生活了两年，写出了一部精神盛典《瓦尔登湖》，它告拆人们：人，完全可以生活在自己的精神世界里！

Martin Heidegger also said: Those who poetically dwell in the world also savor a real pleasure by quietly listening to the sound of the wind. His words were verified by Thoreau, an American, who have live alone happily in a place called Walden Pond for two years, and compose a spirit classic Walden on the situation of having basic living conditions , which warned people: people can live solely in their own spiritual world !

在世界上，还有一群在生命本质上与文人一样的人----那就是清贫而幸福的农人。为什么茅屋里有不断的歌声？质朴的脸上常堆着麦子一样的灿烂的笑容？盖因为他们只索求自己真正需要的，没有过剩的欲望。他们与文人不同的是：他们虽然“琢磨”出了生活的本质，却连一句多余的话都懒得说了。

In the world, there is another group of people who are basically the same as writer ---- that is poor and happy farmers. Why singing always fills their thatched cottages and their faces are often covered in bright unaffected smile? It is because they only pursue what they need, free from extra desire. They are different from writer in that they have no occasion to talk about what they have fathomed in life.