浪漫爱情是可以持续一生的.doc

Romance does not have to fizzle out in long-term relationships and progress into a companionship/friendship-type love, a new study has found. Romantic love can last a lifetime and lead to happier, healthier relationships.

"Many believe that romantic love is the same as passionate love," said lead researcher Bianca P. Acevedo, PhD, then at Stony Brook University (currently at University of California, Santa Barbara). "It isn't. Romantic love has the intensity, engagement and sexual chemistry that passionate love has, minus the obsessive component. Passionate or obsessive love includes feelings of uncertainty and anxiety. This kind of love helps drive the shorter relationships but not the longer ones."

These findings appear in the March issue of Review of General Psychology, published by the American Psychological Association.

Acevedo and co-researcher Arthur Aron, PhD, reviewed 25 studies with 6,070 individuals in short- and long-term relationships to find out whether romantic love is associated with more satisfaction. To determine this, they classified the relationships in each of the studies as romantic, passionate (romantic with obsession) or friendship-like love and categorized them as long- or short-term.

The researchers looked at 17 short-term relationship studies, which included 18- to 23-year-old college students who were single, dating or married, with the average relationship lasting less than four years. They also looked at 10 long-term relationship studies comprising middle-aged couples who were typically married 10 years or more. Two of the studies included both long- and short-term relationships in which it was possible to distinguish the two samples.

The review found that those who reported greater romantic love were more satisfied in both the short- and long-term relationships. Companion-like love was only moderately associated with satisfaction in both short- and long-term relationships. And those who reported greater passionate love in their relationships were more satisfied in the short term compared to the long term.

Couples who reported more satisfaction in their relationships also reported being happier and having higher self-esteem.

Feeling that a partner is "there for you" makes for a good relationship, Acevedo said, and facilitates feelings of romantic love. On the other hand, "feelings of insecurity are generally associated with lower satisfaction, and in some cases may spark conflict in the relationship. This can manifest into obsessive love," she said.

This discovery may change people's expectations of what they want in long-term relationships. According to the authors, companionship love, which is what many couples see as the natural progression of a successful relationship, may be an unnecessary compromise. "Couples should strive for love with all the trimmings," Acevedo said. "And couples who've been together a long time and wish to get back their romantic edge should know it is an attainable goal that, like most good things in life, requires energy and devotion."

一项新研究发现，长期爱情关系并不一定导致浪漫元素的减少和向伙伴或朋友式爱情的转变。浪漫爱情可以持续一生，并且通往更幸福、更健康的关系。

“很多人以为浪漫之爱和激情之爱是一回事，但实际上并非如此。浪漫之爱在强度、承诺和性吸引方面与激情之爱相同，但 没有后者的强迫性成分。激情的或者强迫性的爱情包含了不确定和焦虑的感觉。这种爱情驱动的是短期关系而不是长期关系。”主持研究的Bianca P. Acevedo说。她当时是石溪大学的博士生，现任职于加州大学圣芭芭拉分校。

这些研究结果刊登在美国心理学会出版的《普通心理学评论》三月号上。

Acevedo和研究合作者Arthur Aron博士回顾了以往的25项研究（它们的研究对象总共包括6070个处于短期或长期关系中的人），以检验浪漫爱情是否与更高的满意度相联系。为了证实 这一点，他们把每项研究中的爱情关系归类为浪漫的、激情的（浪漫加上强迫成分）和友谊式的，再分为长期和短期关系两类。

研究者查看了17个对于短期关系的研究，其对象包括18-23岁的单身、恋爱中或已婚的大学生，他们爱情关系的平均 持续时间在四年以下。还有10个对于长期关系的研究，其对象包括结婚10年或更久的中年夫妇。其中两个研究同时包括了短期和长期关系，这两组样本是区分开 来的。

通过对以往研究的总结，研究者发现不论在短期关系还是长期关系中，那些报告出更多浪漫成分的人都对自己的爱情关系更满意。在短期和长期关系中，伙伴式的爱情和满意度都只有中等程度的相关。而那些报告出较多激情成分的人在短期关系中比在长期关系中满意度更高。

对爱情关系满意度较高的夫妇或恋人同时也报告出较强的幸福感和较高的自尊。

Acevedo说，感觉伴侣“与你同在”有助于建立良好的爱情关系，并促进浪漫爱情的感觉。另一方面，“不安全感通常伴随着较低的满意度，有时还会导致爱情中的冲突。强迫式的爱情中就有这种情况。”

这个发现或许会改变人们对长期关系的一般预期。研究者称，虽然伙伴式的爱情在很多夫妇看来是成功爱情关系的自然发展 阶段，但它实际上可能是一种不必要的妥协。Acevedo说：“夫妻应该努力经营爱情，让它变得更完美。那些结婚多年、希望找回浪漫感觉的夫妇，应该认识 到这是完全可以实现的目标，只是和生活中绝大多数好东西一样，它需要投入精力才能达成。”

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