【考研真相】考研英语真题——2001年考研.doc

考研1号读者在线作文点评与修改各位研友： 大家好！附件中是部分考研1号读者朋友们根据考研1号系列图书相关话题所作的写作练习。里面附有考研1号编辑所作的具体点评与修改意见，希望大家在日常写作练习中能积极的学习吸收这些读者作文中的优点以及不足，对比自己写作中存在的一些细节问题，从而在以后自己写作练习中积极改进类似的错误，学习其中好的写作思路与写作句式。考研1号编辑们提醒大家，在进行写作练习的时候，切莫单纯的追求写作数量，以期达到写作能力的提高，量的积累是必须的，但是我们更要注重每一篇写作需要在前一篇写作的基础上去练习，而不是所有的写作都基于同样的水平，犯同样的错误，这样的话，大家会感觉自己练习了很多篇写作，但是水平依然没有提高的困惑。鉴于此，考研1号编辑们提醒大家，可以就一个话题，进行写作，反复修改，逐步提高，循序渐进的写作思路才是正确的，可取的，经过自己一遍又一遍的思考，你会发现自己每一次修改都会提升，就像考研1号一位读者发送邮件告诉编辑们，自己认真总结了前面的作文点评与修改意见之后，认真的去写作，发现自己把作文输入电脑的过程也是学习提升的过程，邮件中说道“我想说一下，在我在电脑上打字，并给您发作文的感受，这篇文章在纸上写的时候，并不如现在这样完整，后来在打字的过程中，又是对自己写的作文的整理以及优化的过程，本来之前不会写的地方或者是没有思路的地方，不知怎的，有了灵感，我非常享受这个过程，而且感觉也挺有帮助的。”考研1号编辑们衷心希望大家能从写作练习中有所收获，享受写作的过程，也是我们写作能力提升的积极心理因素。祝愿大家能以一个积极乐观的心态复习备考。【写作原文】考研英语话题图画作文考研真相历年考研英语真题彻底细解之“2001年英语真题作文爱心”话题读者写作练习 Distributing Love towards the Most NeededLove, often taken as a noble virtue, has been an ever-lasting issue all over the world. As is shown in the picture, love is described as a light. The darker the surrounding is, the brighter th light can shine. That metaphor not only tells us to distribute love towards others, but stress the importance to maximize the effect that it can trigger, for even tiny love may change others lives.We all once heard something about Hope Project which is designed to provide the opportunities to go on learning for those who can not afford it. Supposed that the funds have been donated to the rural children, with which they can buy books that may broaden their horizons, love does make a change, while if the funds are distributed to students automatically. It is indeed the love can make them live better, but the impact will be much smaller.It is not the fact that I want to deny that many people are in need of love, the amount of which goes far beyond that provided. Neither do I suspect the truth of their requirement. All that I care about is how bright we can light the world with the limited love. Only put love where it is most needed can we make the best use of it.Allah is the Light of the heavens and the earth. The parable of His Light is as (if there were) a niche and within it a lamp, the lamp is in glass, the glass as it were a brilliant star, lit from a blessed tree, an olive, neither of the east (i.e. neither it gets sun-rays only in the morning) nor of the west (i.e. nor it gets sun-rays only in the afternoon, but it is exposed to the sun all day long), whose oil would almost glow forth (of itself), though no fire touched it. Light upon Light! Allah guides to His Light whom He wills. And Allah sets forth parables for mankind, and Allah is All-Knower of everything.【范文点评】【第一段点评】Love, often taken as a noble virtue, has been an ever-lasting issue all over the world. As is shown in the picture, love is described as a light. The darker the surrounding is, the brighter th light can shine.That metaphor not only tells us to distribute love towards others, but stress the importance to maximize the effect that it can trigger, for even tiny love may change others lives.第一段：直接点题，描述图画中的基本信息，符合directions的第一条。句开门见山，直接点题，指出“爱是一种美德，是全世界永恒的主题”。其中过去分词短语做love的后置定语。句介绍图画中的内容，句中the拼写错误。句揭示图画的内在含义，not onlybut连接图画欲传递的两层含义。在面对一幅图画是，应该是说“这幅图”，故此处应该用用This metaphor 【第二段点评】We all once heard something about Hope Project which is designed to provide the opportunities to go on learning for those who can not afford it. Supposed that the funds have been donated to the rural children, with which they can buy books that may broaden their horizons, love does make a change, while if the funds are distributed to students automatically. It is indeed the love can make them live better, but the impact will be much smaller.第二段：以“Hope Project”为例，进一步论述图画的深层含义，符合directions的第二条。句列举“Hope Project”作为事例说明“爱”的意义。句中有一个介词加which的非限定性定语从句，其中嵌套一个that引导的定语从句。后面是一个条件状语从句，引导词 while和if都是连词，不能同时使用。句的意思是顺承前面while引导的条件状语从句，故句之间的断句存在问题。【第三段点评】It is not the fact that I want to deny that many people are in need of love, the amount of which goes far beyond that provided. Neither do I suspect the truth of their requirement. All that I care about is how bright we can light the world with the limited love. Only put love where it is most needed can we make the best use of it.第三段：结合前面所列举的例子给出自己的建议。首先承认有很多人需要被关爱，但是可提供的关爱又很有限，表明自己关心的是怎样用有限的“爱”去点亮世界。最后以“把爱放在最需要它的地方才能使它最大程度地发挥作用”成功收尾。【第四段点评】Allah is the Light of the heavens and the earth. The parable of His Light is as (if there were) a niche and within it a lamp, the lamp is in glass, the glass as it were a brilliant star, lit from a blessed tree, an olive, neither of the east (i.e. neither it gets sun-rays only in the morning) nor of the west (i.e. nor it gets sun-rays only in the afternoon, but it is exposed to the sun all day long), whose oil would almost glow forth (of itself), though no fire touched it. Light upon Light! Allah guides to His Light whom He wills. And Allah sets forth parables for mankind, and Allah is All-Knower of everything. 第四段：把真主阿拉喻为天地之光，照亮世间的所有角落。虽然本段和话题有一定的联系，但是联系不是特别紧密。可以总结出该段落的核心意思，用在文章的首段。【整体点评】这是一篇不错的习作，对漫画的内涵把握到位，整体结构明确清晰，在词汇词组和句式的使用上也富有变化，体现了作者一定的思考能力和语言运用能力。但仍需要注意细节问题，如单词的拼写。此外，在写作时还要对文章的字数有所把握，要控制在160200字之间。综上所述，在写作时一定要养成检查的好习惯，对段落的框架、词汇的使用、句子的逻辑性和前后关系都要仔细检查，从中尽可能多的消灭掉错误，避免不必要的失分。若要提高句子和整个文章的质量，还是要多进行写作练习。在使用写作160篇的过程中，注重从经典必备中积累掌握好词好句的用法，在重点预测中除了写作素材的积累，还要加强对话题的思考，拓展自己的思维，从思想上提高作文的含金量。考研1号图书客服部2011-09-29其他考研英语经典作文点评：考研真相2011年考研英语真题-旅程之余-写作点评考研真相2010年考研英语真题-文化火锅-写作点评考研真相2009年考研英语真题-网络远与近-写作点评考研真相2008年考研英语真题-团结合作-写作点评考研真相2007年考研英语真题-自信是成功的关键考研真相2006年考研英语真题-偶像崇拜-写作点评考研真相2005年考研英语真题-养老足球赛-写作点评考研真相2004年考研英语真题-终点又是新起点-写作点评考研真相2003年考研英语真题-温室花朵-写作点评考研真相2002年考研英语真题-文化交流-写作点评考研真相2001年考研英语真题-献爱心-写作点评考研真相2000年考研英语真题-捕鱼业发展-写作点评您可以查阅更多的考研读者在线作文点评修改