如何让过去成为过去.doc

How to put the past behind you
Has this ever happened to you? Your life is ticking along nicely when someone from your past appears out of the blue, bringing uncomfortable feelings back to you as well. They may be an old flame, an old landlord or an old roommate.

They say something to you like, “the last time we spoke we argued about that (cleaning, repair, travel) bill.” And the memory of that moment comes flooding back to you. Or maybe you never forgot it, not quite being able to let it go.

We all have discomfort in our lives. Mostly we try to learn from our mistakes, or from the mistakes surrounding us. Yet emotions create strong memories. When the past is faced again, emotions can come flooding back with the memory.

So what do you do when you run into someone who reminds you of an uncomfortable moment in the past?
Here are some ideas:
1. Take a deep breath, knowing it is not part of your present life.
2. Summon up a positive emotion, and send it their way – they may need an extra dose of love, care, or happiness in their life.
3. Acknowledge, to yourself, any stress you may be feeling.
4. Speak of your discomfort honestly if you can. (“I’m sorry we ended the way we did.” Or “Wow, I’ve thought a lot about you since the last time we spoke.”)
5. Recognize where this emotion is coming from (your past). It isn’t from your current life, so don’t attach your current emotions to it.

Life has a way of surprising us, and the surprise isn’t always pleasant. So make an effort to recognize how an old relationship may affect you.

Don’t let negative past emotions color the present moment any more than it needs to. Take steps to keep past anxiety where it belongs. If it feels really fresh, then you probably never let go of that moment. Use the steps above to let go of that anxiety right now, before it saps any more of your energy.

Recognize how far you’ve come since that moment, and take steps to forgive, if forgiveness is needed.

Whatever the current moment brings, give yourself a gift. Face it with courage and honesty, and move on with a smile, knowing where you are now in your life.

如何让过去成为过去
你是否曾经也有这样的经历？当你快乐地生活着时，总有“旧识”突然出现在你的生活，同时也带来了令你不安的曾经。这个人也许是你的旧情人，曾经的房东，又或是曾经的室友。

他们总以这样的句式开头：“我们最后一次说话时，我们为账单（清洗，修理，或旅行）争吵了。”当时的记忆便会如泉涌般重现在你脑海中。当然，也许你从未忘记或完全放下过。

生活不如意之事十之八九。通常，我们都试着从自己的或者身边人的错误中吸取教训。但是，情绪总能留下深刻的记忆。当昨日重现，情绪便会随着记忆蜂拥而出。

那么，当你偶遇某人，而那个人又让你想起不愉快的过去的时候，你会怎么办？
下面给大家支几招：
1、 深呼吸，告诉自己，那些与你现在的生活无关。
2、调动积极的情绪，让不好的情绪通通散去--他们的生活需要额外的爱，关心，或者快乐。
3、承认那些你感受的到的压力吧。
 4、如果可以，坦率的面对那些不愉快吧。（可以说“很抱歉，我们以那样的方式结束。”或者说“自从上次聊天之后，我经常想起你。”）
5、确认这种情绪从何而来。当然，这并不来自你现在的生活，所以不要把现在的情绪强加于此。

生活总在不经意间给我们带来惊喜，尽管并不次次尽人意。那么就努力去了解，从前的交往是如何影响你的。

不要让过去的负面情绪过多的影响现下的生活。让过去的焦虑就留在过去吧。如果你对此仍记忆犹新，那么你将永远无法忘怀。在过去的焦虑让你精疲力尽前，用上面提到的步骤去释放这些焦虑吧。

回头想想，那个不安的时刻早已远去，然后我们要逐渐原谅，如果需要原谅的话。

无论现下的生活怎么样，给自己一份奖励吧。 勇敢而诚实地去面对这些情绪吧。 面带微笑， 继续前行。 找准自己现在所处的位子。