小黑雅思作文批改样文欣赏.doc

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小黑雅思作文批改样文欣赏

Task: Millions of people every year move to English-speaking countries such as Australia, Britain or America, In order to study at school, college or university. Why do so many people want to study in English? Why is English such an important international language?

         According to a latest official statistics by CHINA government, there have been millions of people to attend the mainstream ,International English language tests such as IELTS, TOFEL and GRE for getting their study opportunity in commonware这种表达很过时，就用western就可以
countries or USA every year in china , improve their English language level furtherly and their main purposeTheir main purpose is to improve their english language level.
, the English speaking countries is to improve their English language ability furthly by daily English-speakingThe students’ level can be greatly improved in a short time by talking face to face …
with native English speakerSpeakers
, and it seems that the trend will become even more popular in future and It is quite necessary for us to learn what causeHas caused
it.
         English as a only commonAn international language
language in the whole world areis
widely used in recording the famous or castesthe world
knowledge and technology with better English language ability, people can benefit more and broaden their horizons more by learning maymany
different opinions different cultures. In addition, To snatch with the more and more toughtougher
global competition, English language ability has become ana
must capability删除
for good occupations when companies recruit the new employees.
         Further more, what makeHas made
English language such powerful and can be an international language.
I believe the root factor is from the huge economic gap between Britain and other countries in the period when our ancestor over planningWas planning
to choose one language as the common international language to solve global communication and trading problems. At thatAt that time
Britain was the most powerful country in the world and the country owned the most latest and advanced knowledge and technology, So it happen naturalyWas natural
that English had become the reallyreal
international language, After hundreds of years that acculatings years of accumulation.

         English has become so popular in all the world no other languages can compete
         However advocating English spearingspeaking
all over the world can also takestake
some clraudraw
backs the severe oheone
is the country which depend ondepends on
English speakspeaking
too much may lead themresult in
losing their own language, and then losing their national charoteristic characteristic
and culture.
So the country should balance the advantages and disadvantages of launching English-speaking, and do the decision with great care.

Task: In many countries schools have server problem with student behavior, what do think are the cause of this are the cause of this? What solution can suggest?

It’s quite common these days for most schools in a lot of countries to be suffered with the problems of student behavior, even more.It is quite common these days that schools in a lot of countries are having the severe problems of student behavior. What’s more, …
It seems the problem has arisen to a severe degree that we have to acquire what causeHas caused
it and what kinds of measures should be taken to control or eliminate it as soon as possible加入句号

The essential factor of this trend is led by the characteristic of students them selves. At that age Researchers are telling us that the children with the age from 6 years old to 18 years one trendingtrend
to do some behaviors against their teachers or parents替换为whatever their teachers or parents advocate
to catch the peer’s eyesdraw the peer’s attention
or present their personality then whatever their teachers or parents advocate删除
, they tend to do the opposite the take more and more students behavior’s problems in the schools
Meanwhile, the mass media in the society are sometimes giringGiving
the good examples for them to follow against Their teachers and parents, as most of us awareAre aware
, there are many obscene or violent contents offered on world wide web or our daily TV programs or films and most of these contents are very easily reached by children. It is the current mass media who misleadAre misleading
children to behavior problem at a significant degree.
About the solutions, the immediate one should be taken is改为that should be taken is that the government…
government need to work out a series of measures to protect the children from negative contents of mass media, such as sorting out the moss media especially internet in different watching or reading levels, then parents can do the effective supervision when children watch or read them. At long termIn the long run
, teacher should enhance their patience and consciousness to do heart-to-heart communication with students, and school is necessary initiative to introduceTo take the initiative in introducing
some subject to help students cross the special life period safely and healthily.

作文点评：
1、 长句容易出现有头无尾，或者没有主语、谓语的情况；
2、 一些词汇的常见用法和搭配不当；
3、 对于一些熟悉的句型，并不熟知它的使用套路，需要勤加训练。

作文评分：4-4.5

Task: some people think that increasing cultural and business communication between countries is harmful, to what extend do you agree?

Nowadays, with the fast pace of globalization, The culture and business communication happens frequently inter-countriesBetween countries
, and a hot debate has arisen about that phenomenon in public , some people believe that such typeType of
communication is harmful tofor
developing countries and some effective measures should be taken to restrict it , However, the others regard that all societies can benefit from the communication and it should be advocated by the whole world. Personally, I am convinced by the former idea due to thethe fact that …
rules of current global trading and cultural exchange are quite unfair tofor
developing countries.

At significant degreeto a great degree,
, the global trading is a tool used by developed country to exploit developing countries. If you try to take a close look at the current global trading，It’s not difficult to discover the truth that the most part of the profit pie which are produced by global trading between develping countries and developed countries areis, 因为主语是the most part of the profit pie.

taken away by developed countries . According to an official business research , the world famous Tea company Lipton purchases their raw materials at tiny cost from India , However when they sell back the tea as a final product to Indian market, the price has been increased to 5times of the raw material cost.

In addition, Maybe the developing coutries will lose their own culture and personality competely when they depentdepend
on outside culture too much. In some developing countries , now the young gererations are tending to learn and speak english too much and ingore the necessary further study of their mother language, they go to KFC and McDonald frequently and forget or are unwilling to learn how to cook their traditional food.

To sum up, Doing more cultural and business communication areis
not the good and only choiceschoice
for developing countries to reach their richness and civilisationcivilization
, And developing countries need to take great care before introducing them broadly.

这篇文章还不错，应该是5分左右的水平，句式很不错，可以模仿使用。

这篇文章好像是扫描仪扫下来的，特别是倒数第二段，问题较多，特别是拼写和语法。

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