雅思写作7.0课程讲义.doc

2010年冲刺班雅思A类写作讲义

主讲：刘巍巍

第一讲 雅思高分写作思路总览
雅思写作高分：7分或7分以上

第一节的内容：
1． 雅思写作的整体介绍
2． 高分写作的要求
3． 解决问题的方案
4． 课程的总览

一． 雅思写作的整体介绍 General Introduction
听力、阅读考试之后
60分钟 Task 1 and Task 2
A类和G类的区别：
task 2 议论文
task 1 A：图表作文 G：书信
评分：以Task 2 为主

二：高分写作的要求
评分标准：
Vocabulary and Sentence Structure(词汇与句子结构)
Arguments, Ideas and Evidence(论证，论点和论据)
Communicative Quality(交流质量)

Vocabulary and Sentence Structure(词汇与句子结构)
1. 避免使用过于低级的单词
The problem becomes worse by the poor effects we made.
The problem was compounded due to the ineffective measures we had taken.

They claim that sports lead to competition rather than cooperation is only an incorrect argument.
The claim that sports lead to competition rather than cooperation is only a lame argument.

People face violence and crimes on TV and films every day.
People are bombarded by violence and crimes on TV and films every day.

The kind of growth may lead to very bad results.
The kind of growth may lead to dire consequences.
consequence:
far-reaching（深远的）, profound（深刻的）, adverse（不利的）, catastrophic（灾难的）, damaging（破坏性的）, devastating（破坏性的）, dire（可怕的）, disastrous（灾难的）, fatal（致命的）, tragic（悲惨的）, severe（严重的）,
2 避免过分重复同一样的单词
Mothers enjoy the same right for career advancement as fathers do.
Mothers are just as entitled to career advancement as fathers.
Mothers are empowered to career advancement as fathers.

3. 尽可能展示多变的句型
定语从句：
China is the largest developing country and is enjoying rapid economic growth. As a result, in the streets of major cities in China, there are thousands of vehicles of all kinds.
As the largest developing country, China is enjoying rapid economic growth, the evidence of which can be seen in all major cities whose streets are teeming with thousands of vehicles of all kinds.

倒装句：
Young people are so impulsive and easily influenced that they are constantly tricked by advertisement in all forms of media.
Impulsive and easily influenced as young people are, they are constantly tricked by advertisement in all forms of media.

伴随状语：
It is common now for kids to spend six and a half days in school each week because they have to sit through one extra class after another.
It is common for kids to spend six and a half days in school each week, sitting through one extra class after another.

设问句：
Even if machine translation were able to eradicate all the language barriers between peoples, learning foreign languages still make sense.
Even if machine translation were able to eradicate all the language barriers between people, would there be no point in learning foreign languages? By no means.

Arguments, Ideas and Evidence(论证，论点和论据)
Some people think that in order to improve the quality of education, high school students should be encouraged to evaluate and criticize their teachers, but other people maintain that such evaluation and criticism may cause loss of respect for teachers and discipline. What do you think?
有人认为，为了提高教育质量，我们应该鼓励高中生对自己的老师进行评估；别的人却认为这种评估是不尊重教师、违反学校纪律的行为。请给出你的看法？
学生评价老师的理由：
1. 通过评估，老师可以知道学生究竟想些什么、需要什么
If students are not allowed to evaluate or criticize the teachers, it is hard for the teachers to find out what the students think or what they need.
2. 评价和批评本身也是一种有效的交流方式
Evaluation and criticism are themselves effective forms of communication
3. 听取学生的真实意见和想法，教师自己也能够受益匪浅
Teachers will benefit a lot when their minds are open to the ideas and honest opinions of the youngsters.
高分作文两个注意事项：
1． 论据尽可能新颖：论据新颖，文字才更有可能新颖
2． 新颖应该让位于准确性：确保文字没有错误

Communicative Quality(交流质量)
1． 高分作文，在于文字和论据精彩，不在于结构另类
2． 雅思作文类型固定，写作模式也固定，高分作文亦然

三：解决问题的方案
1 Vocabulary and Sentence Structure(词汇与句子结构)
à总结大量经典搭配，交替使用
2Arguments, Ideas and Evidence(论证，论点和论据)
à范文讲解附带论据整理
3Communicative Quality(交流质量)
à给出固定写作思路，不求变革

四：课程总览
八节课程
第一节：整体介绍
第二至第七节：各类议论文的高分写作思路
1.该类议论文的写作思路点拨
2.范文讲解
3.课后作业及范文
第八节：
A类：图表作文高分写作思路
G类：书信类作文高分写作思路

第二节 观点类雅思作文高分写作思路

范例：

Nowadays computers are widely used in education. As a result, some people think teachers no longer play an important role in classrooms. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that machine translation is highly developed in today’s society. Therefore it is not necessary for children to learn a foreign language. What’s your opinion?

University should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it is the responsibility of the government to ensure that people in the country have healthy lifestyles. Other people believe that individuals should be free to decide their own lifestyles. Please give your opinion.

标志性文字：
Do you agree or disagree?
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
What’s your opinion?
Please give your own opinion.

重点在于：就题目讨论的问题，给出自己的观点

结构构思：
1. 传统的写作思路: 第一段亮出观点，然后分段给出不同的论据，最后一段收尾，总结全文，同时再次重申自己的观点
2. 高分作文，在于文字（词汇、句型、观点）方面制造亮点，不在于在结构方面铤而走险尝试新的方式

范文讲解1：
Nowadays people can use computers to talk, learn and communicate without leaving home. There is a danger that it will cause more isolation and a lack of communication among people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

写作思路：
1.观点：电脑不会妨碍人和人之间的交流
小提示：科技类的文章，尽量选择正观点，讲述科技为人类做出的贡献为佳

2. 论据:
(1). 不能狭隘地理解交流和隔阂，在电脑屏幕前花很多的时间不等于缺乏与世隔绝，
Communication and isolation must not be defined in a narrow sense. Alienation of people is not caused by how little they talk or meet each other but by lack of interest in our fellow creatures or the world at large.
隔绝、疏远： isolation alienation
(2). 计算机让大家有了共同的兴趣，促进了人们之间的共鸣
common 共同的
Computers help to prevent isolation by bringing every possible field of interest onto the screen. You can broaden your interests and enrich your life by accessing whatever and whoever you are interested in.
(3). 不同的时代有不同的交流方式，电脑就是当今时代的交流工具之一
Our mode of communication is forever changing and computers represent the latest way of communication.
远古时代： primitive primeval times shouts and gestures 呐喊和手势
后来： 文字和语言 spoken and written language
现代： we prefer emails to ordinary mails, chat room, forum, tele-conference
(4). 互联网让我们时时刻刻都连接在一起，一切都可以在指尖上实现
The Internet keeps us linked to each other all the time. Everything is at the touch of a fingertip.

开篇：引入观点的技巧
Some people think…. Other people think… I think ….
…. has been a hot topic. Different people hold different views. In my opinion, ….
…. has caused a lot of controversy. Some people think ….. but I think ….

（以下开始逐句讲解范文，请跟随讲解的进度，以flash的形式，屏幕上逐句出现范文的文字，并在需要讲解的地方，插入讲解内容的文本）
Invented some 60 years ago, computers have already transformed the way most of us live. The advent of the Internet opens up the possibility of communicating and interacting via the computer.
impending advent 即将来临
将话题引入电脑
With more time spent on computers and less with each others, people start to fear the dehumanizing effect of this wonderful human contrivance.
提出题目中以及提及到的观点
特别提醒：切忌不要重复题目中出现的语句，要适当地paraphrase，用不同的文字，来表达同样的内容
亮点： contrivance 发明物
普通词汇： invention
This inordinate concern is quite groundless.
简单地亮出自己的观点。
Inordinate 过量的
Several countries have been using nuclear energy technologies safely and see no inordinate concern in using and developing additional technology.

第二段 给出第一个论据
One doesn’t necessarily become isolated if he spends most of his time alone using a computer. Isolation only occurs when one is obsessed by his own affair and cares nothing about anything else.
着迷于某事、专注于某事
be obsessed by …
be absorbed into
be fascinated with
be crazy about
be captivated with
…is in my blood.
Music is in my blood.

Indeed, many feel isolated and lonely in the midst of crowds or even while talking to others because they are trapped in their own world or because others are in theirs.
句式的多样和地道
原始版本：
…because they are trapped in their own world or because others are trapped in their own worlds.
升级版本：
…because they are trapped in their own world or because others are in theirs

第三段：
As far as communication is concerned, the using of computers is by no means detrimental.
产生不好的影响：
negative effect
dehumanizing effect
detrimental effect
deleterious

Why should computers be singled out as particularly deleterious?
出现问句，达到“句式多变”的高分必备要求
Single out 挑选出

What matters is not whether or not we communicate in the orthodox or traditional ways but the very fact that we do communicate.
orthodox 规范的、普遍赞许的、正统的

尾段：再次重申观点
Computer is but a tool, the misuse of which it is not responsible for.
以定语从句结尾，全文中出现了五种句式,除了普通的陈述句式之外，还出现了：
（1）动词的分词引导的状语从句：
Invented some 60 years ago, computers have already transformed the way most of us live.
（2）一般疑问句
Why should computers be singled out as particularly deleterious?
（3）定语从句
Communication is made easy by technology, which promises infinite possibilities ahead.
（4）部分省略句
Indeed, many feel isolated and lonely in the midst of crowds or even while talking to others because they are trapped in their own world or because others are in theirs.

（完整版范文请收集在电子讲义中）
Nowadays people can use computers to talk, learn and communicate without leaving home. There is a danger that it will cause more isolation and a lack of communication among people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Invented some 60 years ago, computers have already transformed the way most of us live. The advent of the Internet opens up the possibility of communicating and interacting via the computer. With more time spent on computers and less with each others, people start to fear the dehumanizing effect of this wonderful human contrivance. This inordinate concern is quite groundless.

One doesn’t necessarily become isolated if he spends most of his time alone using a computer. Isolation only occurs when one is obsessed by his own affair and cares nothing about anything else. Indeed, many feel isolated and lonely in the midst of crowds or even while talking to others because they are trapped in their own world or because others are in theirs. Alienation of people is not caused by how little they talk or meet each other but by the lack of interest in our fellow creatures and the world at large. Hence, computers actually help to prevent isolation by bringing every possible field of interest onto the screen. Everything is at the touch of a fingertip. You can broaden your interests and enrich your life by accessing whatever and whoever you are interested in.

As far as communication is concerned, the using of computers is by no means detrimental. In primeval times our ancestors communicate by a simple system of shouts and gestures. Then spoken and written languages developed. We now prefer emails to ordinary letters. Our mode of communication is forever changing. Why should computers be singled out as particularly deleterious? What matters is not whether or not we communicate in the orthodox or traditional ways but the very fact that we do communicate. Indeed, computer technology facilitates the exchange of ideas and information. The Internet keeps us linked to each other all the time. Apart from the usual emails, chat rooms and forums, tele-conferencing is being employed daily to enhance communication. Communication is made easy by technology, which promises infinite possibilities ahead.

Thus, communication and isolation must not be defined in a narrow sense. Problems arise not from technological development but from people themselves. Computer is but a tool, the misuse of which it is not responsible for.

（中文翻译可以出现在电子讲义中即可，不需要出现在屏幕中）
如今，人们使用电脑足不出户就可以进行交流和学习。这有可能会引起人和人之间的隔阂，使得人与人之间缺乏交流。你是否同意这样的观点？

从六十年前被发明到现在，计算机已经改变了我们的生活方式。互联网的出现则使得人们利用计算机进行沟通交流成为了可能。人们花在电脑上的时间多了，花在人同他人交往上的时间少了，于是人们开始对这项人类伟大发明所带来的非人性效果感到恐惧。这种过度的担忧其实是杞人忧天。

即使一个人花了很多时间在电脑上，也不一定就会与世隔绝。真正的隔绝其实是指一个人过分专注于自己的事情，对其他一切都置之度外。事实上，很多人即使身处人群当中，甚至在和别人谈话过程中，仍感到孤独寂寞，因为他自己已经深深陷入了自己的世界当中，或者因为他周围的人陷入了他们自己的世界当中。总的来说，人与人之间的疏远不是因为人们交谈见面的时间少了，而是因为人们对他人，对世界失去了兴趣。所以，计算机其实有助于防止这种人与人的隔绝，因为计算机把大家的各种领域的可能的共同兴趣都集中到了屏幕上来了。一切都可以在指尖上实现。不管你对什么事情，什么人物感兴趣，你都可以通过计算机满足你的兴趣，从而拓宽你的兴趣爱好，丰富你的生活。

从沟通的角度来看，计算机的使用也没有任何坏处。在原始时代，我们的祖先通过喊叫和手势来交流。然后，出现了语言和文字。现在我们更喜欢用电子邮件代替传统邮件。我们的沟通方式在不断的改变。为什么要单单指责计算机的害处呢？重要的不是我们是否通过传统的方式沟通，而是我们是否真正地进行沟通。事实上，计算机技术为我们交换想法和信息提供了方便。互相网使我们时时刻刻都相互联系在一起。除了电子邮件，我们每天还使用聊天室，论坛，远程会议等来加强我们间的沟通与交流。科技使我们的沟通变得容易了，为我们开辟了无限的机会。

所以，不能狭隘地看待沟通与交流。相关的问题不是技术发展带来的，而是产生于人们自身。计算机只是工具，它的滥用不能归咎于由计算机本身。

范文讲解2

As science and technology contribute most to the development of society, science students should get more financial support from government than students in other fields (eg. business language, etc.). To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

第一步：
确定观点：反对该观点

第二步：确定论据：
（1）尽管科技取得了很多成就，甚至是很多的奇迹，仍然有很多问题让科技无能为力
Notwithstanding the achievements and miracles made possible by science, numerous issues cannot be solved by science or technology.
Notwithstanding = despite
举例：青少年犯罪juvenile delinquency
种族歧视racial discrimination
道德水平下降moral degradation
the decline of moral standards
（2）一个学生能得到的经济援助应该由其学业成绩来决定
The amount of financial aid should be based on the students’ academic performance

第一段：
Never in history was science and technology so emphasized as in modern society.
开篇使用倒装句，吸引眼球，达到句式多变的要求

However, this lopsided emphasis seems ungrounded.
Lopsided 不平衡的
Ungrounded groundless
This inordinate concern was quite groundless.
用简单的语言，亮出自己的观点。

第二段：
It is quite debatable that science and technology contribute more to human progress.
可商榷的、有异议的
debatable
arguable
questionable
Consensus has yet to be reached concerning ….

Modern people are more often plagued by problems of the heart, instead of the body.
Plague 折磨
Trouble, bother, haunt, harass
This problem of air pollution has haunted every one in the city.

The material wealth generated by science and technology often pales against the peace of mind brought by art or literature.
pale against 显得苍白无力
特别提醒：文章中一定要使用一定量的介词短语，以体现词汇量的丰富性(lexical resource)

第三段：
Grants or scholarships should not be lavished upon those without real interest in or dedication to a scholarly pursuit, whereas those with real potential should be offered adequate financial support lest they get distracted by working part time to pay for their education.
用or引导同义词或近义词，来展示词汇量
grants or scholarship
interest in or dedication to

lest以免

foremost 最重要的

第四段
In a larger sense, all subjects are vital to human progress.
Vital 至关重要的
Very important
Vitally important

（范文请出现在电子讲义中）
Never in history was science and technology so emphasized as in modern society. One is most likely to get a scholarship for graduate study overseas if he or she majors in science or technology. However, this lopsided emphasis seems ungrounded.

It is quite debatable that science and technology contribute more to human progress. Notwithstanding the achievements and miracles made possible by science, numerous issues cannot be solved by science or technology. Social issue