英语爆笑笑话9篇.docx

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英语爆笑笑话9篇
　　下面是学习啦我整理的英语爆笑笑话，期望对大家有关怀。
　　英语爆笑笑话：
　　Have a neuropathy, I do not know where to get a handful of pistols, he is gone in a little black alley. When suddenly a young man, neuropathy apart from anything else its guns on the ground by pointing to his head Asked one plus a few zero. Terrified young people, thought for a long time. Answer, equals two. Neuropathy of the killing he did not hesitate. And then get pulled in his arms, said a cold, you know too much ...
　　有一个神经病，不知道从哪里弄来了一把手枪，他走在一条小黑胡同里。突然遇上一个年轻人，神经病二话不说将其按在地上用枪指着他的头。问道，一加一得几。年轻人吓坏了，深思了很久。答复，等于二。神经病毫不迟疑的打死了他。然后把抢拽在怀里，冰冷的说了一句，你知道的太多了
　　英语爆笑笑话：
　　Boy: Hi, didnt we go on dates before? Onec or twice?
　　Girl: Mustve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.
　　男孩：嗨，我们之前是不是约会过，是一次还是两次，我遗忘了。
　　女孩：应当只有一次吧，我从不犯两次同样的错误。
　　英语爆笑笑话：
　　Hospitality
　　The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guests plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese? In the rat-trap, sir, replied the boy.
　　好客
　　由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女仆人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩静静地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说："孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪?' "在捕鼠夹上，先生。'那小男孩说。

　　英语爆笑笑话：
　　Things Have Been Okay
　　A young couple were becoming anxious about their four-year-old son, who had not yet talked. They took him to specialists, but the doctors found nothing wrong with him. Then one morning at breakfast the boy suddenly blurted, Mom, the toast is burned.
　　You talked! You talked! Shouted his mother. Im so happy! But why has it taked this long?
　　Well, up till now, Said the boy, things have been okay.
　　一切都正常
　　一对年轻夫妇有个儿子，已经四岁了，还没有开口说话，他们对此深感焦虑。他们带他去找专家诊治，但医生们总觉得他没有毛病。后来有一天早上吃早餐时，那孩子突然开口了：妈妈，面包烤焦了。
　　你说话了!你说话了!他母亲叫了起来。我太欢快了!但为什么花了这么长的时间呢?
　　哦，在这之前，那男孩说，一切都很正常。
　　英语爆笑笑话：
　　Once upon a time, there lived a rich man, but he didnt know any words.
　　One day, one of his friends wanted to borrow an ox from him, so he wrote a note and asked his servant to take it to this rich man.
　　After the servant gave the note to the rich man, he pretended to be reading it and after a while, he said, OK, I know. Go and tell your master, Ill go myself shortly.
　　从前，有个人很富有，但他不识字。
　　一天，他的一位伴侣想向他借一头公牛，便写了个条，让仆人送到富人那里。 仆人把条子给了富人。富人便假装看了一会儿，然后说道："好啦，我知道了。回去告知你的仆人，我马上自己过去。'
　　英语爆笑笑话：
　　Just like most of other kids, aged two Emilia didn t like washing hands──she s always wiping the dirt off hands on her clothes. One day I accompanied her to have fried cicadae(蝉). Habitually she rubbed her grease fingers on her real silk short gown. I held back (阻挡) her from doing it: What do you want to do? She was immediately on to (意识)her blame, replied at ease(镇静): I m akimbo.
　　像大多数别的小孩一样，两岁艾咪丽雅不爱洗手，吃东西弄脏手，任凭在身上一抹就得了。一天我正陪她吃炸知了，她手上的油多了，便习惯地往真丝小褂子上蹭，我阻挡道："你想干什么?'她马上意识到问题所在，镇静答道："我叉腰。'
　　英语爆笑笑话：
　　A short young man was running behind a bus which was full of passengers. But the bus still ran at a great speed.
　　Stop, stop, a passenger looked out of the window, and shouted at the young man, you cant catch it !
　　I must, the young fellow said, out of breath, because Im only driver of the bus.
　　在一辆满载乘客的公共汽车后面，一位小个子青年在奔跑着。气车仍在高速前进。 "停下吧，'一位乘客把头伸出窗子，对小个子喊道，"你追不上的!'
　　"我必需追上，'小个子气喘吁吁地说，"我是司机!'
　　英语爆笑笑话：他们都在这里
　　The warden of the prison felt sorry for one of his inmates because every weekend on Visitors Day, most of the prisoners had family members and friends coming, but poor George always sat alone in his cell. So one Visitors Day the warden called George to his office and said, I notice youve never had any visitors, George. Sympathetic, he put his hand on Georges shoulder. Tell me, dont you have any friends or family? George replied, Oh, sure I do, Warden. Its just that theyre all in here!
　　典狱长对狱中一位囚犯深感怜悯，由于每逢周末的探访日大多数囚犯都有家人或伴侣来访，但是可怜的乔治总是孤伶伶地坐在自己的囚室中。因此在一个探访日，典狱长把乔治叫到办公室说："乔治，我留意到从来没有人来探望过你。'他满怀怜悯地把手放在乔治的肩膀上："告知我，你没有任何伴侣或家人吗?'乔治答复："喔!当然有，典狱长，只不过他们全都在这里面!'
　　英语爆笑笑话：狗娘养的
　　my father, who was 14 years old than my mother, had been working on his will. at a family dinner he told us that he had provided well for mother, but the family home would go to us five children if she remarried.我爸比我妈大14岁，最近始终在写遗嘱。一次家宴上，他告知我们说他为母亲以后的生活作好了支配，但假设她改嫁的话，家里的房子将归我们五个孩子全部。i dont want another s.o.b. toasting his shins around my fireplace, he explained."我可不情愿另外哪个狗娘养的在我的火炉旁烤他的狗腿，'他解释道。with a sly grin, mother
　　cracked, what makes you think id marry another s.o.b?妈妈狡猾地咧了咧嘴，讥诮道："你怎么认为我会再嫁给一个狗娘养的?'

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