ActionsSpeakLouderthanWords正式版.doc

Unit 4 Actions Speak Louder than WordsTEACHER: OK, class, OK . . . lets begin. What do we mean when we say that actions speak louder than words? STUDENT 1: Uh . . . that means we believe peoples actions more than we believe their words. TEACHER: Yes, exactly rightand, uh, in a sense, actions are more important than words. Thats because we usually judge speakers intentions by the nonverbal signals they send us. And thats what our subject todays all about, nonverbal communicationhow we communicate through our actions facial expressions, eye contact, tone of voice, uh, body movement, and so on. And if any of you doubt the importance of these things, you might like to consider a couple of statistics Ive got here in front of me. Some communication specialists estimate we spend about 75 percent of our waking hours communicating. And, more to the point, words account for only, mm, 10 to 30 percent of that communicationthe bulks nonverbal. Thats food for thought, uh? Now although people clearly understand its importance, nonverbal communicationIll call it N.V.C. for shortis actually a rather recent field of study and owes a lot to an American anthropologist named Raymond Birdwhistle spelled B-I-R-D-W-H-I-S-T-L-E. Easy name to remember, right? Birdwhistle began studying nonverbal communication in the 1950s and, um . one of his main ideas was that the meaning of nonverbal behavior depended on the context in which it was used. Uh, it depends on the context. So, he looked at the whole context of nonverbal behavior how and, uh, where certain types of nonverbal behavior appearedand not just one particular behavior in isolation. Facial expressions, for examplefrowns, smiles, raised eyebrows, and, uh, so onwe all use these to convey many different meanings. But those meanings are largely determined by the situations were in and the relationships that we have with the people were communicating with. So, the same expression can have different meanings, right? Take a smile, for example, what does it mean?. Uh, Mike? STUDENT 2: Uh . . uh, agreement, I guess. I like you. TEACHER: OK. Yes, it could mean I like you, but it could also mean Im trying to make you feel comfortable, or maybe, uh, I think you said something funny. Hmm? The point is, the situation or the relationship between the people involved gives a particular meaning to the smile. All right. Now although today I want to focus on physical nonverbal communicationuh, often called body language or kinesics, thats K-I-N-E-S-I-C-Syou should know that there are other types of nonverbal communication. G. W. Porter, for example, divides nonverbal communication into four categories, which Id like to look at just briefly. Theres the Physical N.V.C. I just mentioned. That includes facial expressions, tone of voice, sense of touch and smell, and body movement. Secondly, theres Aesthetic N.V.C.thats A-E-S-T-H-E-T-I-C, meaning related to beauty. And Aesthetic N.V.C. takes place through creative expressions, like playing instrumental music, dancing or painting, sculpting. And we certainly know that we can communicate with people through creative expressions like these Now, next is Signs, which is a mechanical type of communication. Now, it includes the use of things like signal flags used at airports, the twenty-one gun salute used in the military, and police sirens used on public streets. And last is Symbolic N.V.C, which uses religious, status, or ego-building symbolsyou know, things like wearing crosses in the Christian religion or special pins to show membership in a particular club, like a fraternity. So, again, youve got physical, aesthetic, signs, and symbolic nonverbal communication. Got that? But lets go back to Porters first type, Physical N.V.C, or body language . Um, its divided into two main types static features and dynamic features. Static features include distance, orientation, posture, and physical contact. Lets look at distance first. The distance a person stands from another often sends a nonverbal message. In some situations its a sign of attraction; in others its a reflection of social status; in others it shows the intensity of the exchange. Distance has to do with personal space and what an invasion of someones personal space signifies, what it means. Britney? STUDENT 1: Yes, what is personal space exactly? Could you explain it a bit more, please? TEACHER: Ah, well, good question. Well, its kind of like a bubble each of us places between ourself and othersan invisible border or limit. Now this affects how close we stand to others, where we sit in a room, at a meeting, and uh, so onthings which affect how comfortable we feel. Generally speaking, the higher your status, the more space youll have and the easier itll be to invade other peoples space. Uh, I hope thats clearer. Now, orientations different from distance and has to do with the way we position ourselves in relation to others. For example, people cooperating are likely to sit side-by-side, while competitors are likely to sit face to face . right? And postures different again; it concerns whether were slouched or were standing or sitting straight. You know: Are our legs crossed, our arms folded? That sort of tiling. These convey the level of formality or relaxation in the same situation. Then comes physical contact, and here were talking about touching, holding, hugging, and so on. These convey or show messagesparticularly how intimate we feeland their meaning can vary a lot between cultures. Hands touching in one culture may be an act of great intimacy, whereas in another . . . simply a sign of friendship. The fact is, though, that touching and physical intimacy can send a more direct yet subtle message than dozens of words. Be careful though: This kind of communication can easily invade someones personal space, and that can . . . lead, uh . . . cause mistrust, lead to problemsand actually shut down the communication. So those are Porters static features. Lets now look at his dynamic features. These are basically things like facial expressions, gestures, eye contact, and uh, body movements. Facial expressions, then . . . these continually change during a conversation, and participants constantly watch and respond to each others expressions. These expressions usually communicate the emotions and attitude of the speaker. Take eyes for example; they. . . . Well, let me ask you, what do you think they reveal? Yes? STUDENT 2: Um . happiness and sadness? STUDENT 1: Fear? Fright? STUDENT 3: Friendliness. TEACHER: Yes, some of these things are revealed in the eyes, happiness and sadness yes . . . also fright and surprise. Think about it. Think about how your eyes respond when you hear something surprising, or frightening, or sad, or cheerful. Now, the lower facethe mouth and jawalso reveals happiness or surprise, especially the smile, as weve said. The upper face, eyebrows, and forehead can also reveal anger. In some communication studies, its been estimated that facial expressions provide 55 percent of the meaning of a message; vocal cues, such as pitch and volume, provide 38 percent; and verbal cues only 7 percent. So, a persons expressions seem to be a better indicator of his meaning than words, which play a minimal part. OK, now where are we? Oh. Were looking at Porters dynamic features of communication. Next we come to gestures. You know, one of the most important parts of gesturing, hand movements, is one of those least understood by scientists. Most are not universal, and as we all know, the same gesture can have different meanings in different countries. Here in the U.S. we make a circle with our thumb and first finger and it means OK. In Japan, however, it means money, and in South America it has a sexual meaning. The story goes that former President Richard Nixon made a huge mistake on a trip to South America when he held up both hands using this OK. gesture. Needless to say, the people in the audience were quite shocked! The fact is, we have to be very careful about what our bodies are saying, especially when in a different culture. Now lets move on to eye contact. Eye contact is a very powerful form of nonverbal communication. One thing about eye contact that is generally agreed on is that someone with higher status usually maintains eye contact longer if hes talking to someone of lower status. In other words, he stares. Anything else you think a direct stare indicates? STUDENT 1: Determination . . . uh . . . openness. TEACHER: Exactly, and it creates a feeling of trust. And looking downward? STUDENT 1: That shows dishonesty, guilt,. uh . . TEACHER: Yes, it does, but also modesty, in some cases. And eyes rolled upwards suggest tiredness. I dont see any of that right now, Im glad to say! And the last, the fourth item on Porters list is body movement. You know, its interesting that a lot of the work on non-verbal communication has been done for corporations. They want to improve their employees performance. So for example, if you lean forward in an interview, this suggests youre energetic, somebody prepared to make major changes. If you hold yourself at your tallest, uh, this suggests youre probably a presenter, and good at selling yourself or the organization. And with side-to-side movements, if you take up a lot of space while talking by moving your arms a lot, youre seen as a good informer and listener, so youre desirable to the company. See? So to finish up, there are five things that differentiate verbal and nonverbal communication. Id like you to note them down. First, while spoken languages differ from country to country, emotions are communicated in much the same nonverbal way throughout the world. Second, although we know a lot about the grammar of spoken language, we still dont know very much about the grammar of N.V.C. Third, we dont have any dictionaries for N.V.C. If you go to a foreign country and somebody makes a hand gesture you dont understand, theres no dictionary to help you. And fourth, we can ask for repetition or clarification of what somebody has said, but its practically impossible to ask, Could you repeat that smile? or What does that facial expression mean? We have to understand nonverbal communication the first time around. And finally, we can hide our true feelings with spoken language, but its more difficult with N.V.C. We cant just stop ourselves from turning red, or slow down our heartbeat, right? So whether we like it or not, body language cant liealthough Ill bet there are times we all wish it could So in conclusion then, nonverbal communication is an integral part of communication. OK, now lets quickly get into groups and talk about some of the differences Ive just mentioned. This is what I want you to do. Just pull your chairs around. . .人品好的人，自带光芒，无论走到哪里，总会熠熠生辉。人活着，谁都会有烦恼，每天都有烦恼，最重要的是你不理会烦恼，烦恼自然就没有了！因此，朋友们，最好的活法，就只要记住这两句话：烦恼天天有，不捡自然无！当你不开心的时候，想想自己还剩下多少天可以折腾，还有多少时间够你作践。你开心，这一天过了；不开心，一天也过了。想明白了，你就再也不会生气了。当你烦恼的时候，想想人生就是减法，见一面少一面，活一天就少一天，还有什么好烦恼的呢，不忘人恩，不念人过，不思人非，不计人怨。不缺谁，不少谁，对得起良心就好。当你忧伤的时候，想想生活就是一场路过，赤条条来，赤条条去，带不来一丝尘土，带不走半片云彩。什么功名利禄，什么人情往份，啥你都带不走，想明白了，还有什么好难过的？当你不满的时候，想想和富人比，我们活着知足就是幸福。和病人比，我们活着健康就是幸福。和死人比，我们还活着就是幸福。人这辈子想活好，心要简单，人要糊涂。当你生气的时候，想想是否有必要为不值得的人生气？有必要为不值得的事闹心？好好吃饭，好好睡觉，好好养老，好好花钱就可以了。你好好的，家人好好的，一切也就好好的了！当你计较的时候，想想人在世间走，本是一场空，何必处处计较