托福综合写作满分要素.pdf

综合写作攻略：综合写作攻略： 一、题型分析一、题型分析 1、要点分析 时间 ： 在新托福写作考试的前二十分钟进行 ， 虽然写作是新托福考试的最终部分 ，但万万不可掉以轻心，否则自毁长城，前功尽弃。 工具：新托福写作只有键盘输入一种选择，打字速度慢者吃亏不少。建议考生熟练操作键盘，提高打字速度并减少打字错误。 字数：有明确要求，150225 字。建议考生平常练习时利用 word 工具，计算文章字数，做到心中有数。 文体：正规书面文体。不可使用诸如“doesnt”等非正规文体和口语词汇，可模仿阅读中的遣词造句。 题目：共分三个部分，阅读，听力，写作。 2、评分标准 5 A response at this level Effectively addresses the task by conveying relevant information from the lecture; and accurately relates key information from the lecture to information in the reading; and Is well organized and coherent; and Contains appropriate grammar and vocabulary, with only occasional minor language errors. 文章切题，包含听力中的相关信息；将听力主要信息与阅读材料信息准确对应；段落组织有序，衔接紧密；用词确切，语法规范，有少量拼写错误 4 A response at this level Generally conveys relevant information from the lecture, but may have minor omissions; and Is generally good in relating information from the lecture to information in the reading, but may have minor inaccuracies or vagueness of some content or connections among ideas; and Is generally well organized; and Contains appropriate grammar and vocabulary, but may have noticeable minor language errors or occasional lack of clarity. 文章基本切题，基本包含了听力中的相关信息，但有少许遗漏；信息组织基本合理，但有少许不准确之处或某些内容或观点间的衔接不清晰；段落组织基本有序；用词确切，语法规范，有明显的拼写错误或偶尔表述不清。 3 A response at this level Contains some relevant information from the lecture, but may omit one key point; or Conveys some connections between the lecture and the reading, but some content or connections among ideas may be incomplete, inaccurate, or vague; or Contains errors in grammar or usage that result in vagueness of some content or connections among ideas 包含了听力中的某些相关信息，但遗漏了一个要点；阐述了听力与阅读的某些联系，但某些内容或观点间的联系不完整，不准确或含糊不清；包含语法错误影响了某些内容或观点间联系的表达 2 A response at this level Contains some relevant information from the lecture, but may have significant omissions or inaccuracies of key points; or Omits or largely misrepresents the connections between the lecture and the reading; or Contains language errors that obscure meaning of key ideas or connections among ideas. 包含听力材料中的某些相关信息，但有重大遗漏或要点表述错误；遗漏或嵌解了听力与材料间的联系；语法错误严重影响内容表达 1 A response at this level Contains little or no relevant content from the lecture; or Fails to connect points from the lecture and reading; or Contains language errors that greatly obscure meaning; or Is too brief to allow evaluation of writing proficiency. 没有或有很少听力中的相关信息；没能将听力与阅读建立起联系；语法错误严重影响表达；篇幅太小影响评分 0 A response at this level Only copies sentences from the reading; or Is not related to the given topic; or Is written in a language other than English; or Is blank. 仅从阅读材料中抄袭句子；与主题无关；用除英语外的其它语言写作；空白卷 通过对评分标准进行分析 ， 我们知道了ETS对于一篇好的综合写作作文的要求： 细节缺一不可 (example, reason, detail) 不能跑题（unity） 结构紧凑 （organization） 段落过渡流畅 (coherent) 用词多样化，丰富 (variety) 3、如何准备 1 良好的语法知识 2 充足的词汇量 3 基本的文体知识 4 良好的阅读习惯 5 良好的听力水平 6 高超的语言衔接手段 7 多种表达方法综合运用的能力 8 高超的记笔记能力 在平时备考过程中要注意： 1. 强化语法知识和学术论文写作的文体格式 ； 掌握常用时态 ， 语态 ， 语气和句式，熟练运用语法知识写出通顺的句子。 2. 千方百计强化词汇，多读学术性文章，熟悉写作格式和常用语言表达，熟悉英文写作思路。 3. 多听学术性强的英语讲座，熟悉英语口头表达方式，听懂大意，总结归纳。 4. 熟悉常用句型，多练 写作原则 归纳起来共有七条： 1）正式文体 2）完整结构 3) 明确观点 4)条理内容 5）重视句式 6)通顺联贯 7) 扬长避短 二、出题方式二、出题方式 1）3 分钟阅读，字数 300 左右 2）12 分钟听力，长度与阅读相当 3）20 分钟写作，长度 150225 字 三、要点三、要点 如何确定要点： 1. 主题句 2. 重复的语意（同根，同义，同一词） 3. 原因和结果 4. 被解释的词汇 5. 带有倾向性的名词，形容词，副词，动词等。 6. 被强调的语意（比较，最高级，绝对词） 7. 问题与答案 8. 重要例子 9. 比较/对比&比喻 10. 表转折的词（其后的内容很重要） 四、动笔写作前的注意事项四、动笔写作前的注意事项 1. Read the question carefully and think about what it wants you to do. 2. review the notes you took during the lecture 3. plan what facts to present, and in what order 4. select main points and write a paragraph about each 5. develop the ideas with examples and reasons 五、如何结构全文：五、如何结构全文： 总分式总分式 分总式分总式 总分总式总分总式 六、写作中的注意事项：六、写作中的注意事项： State the key point clearly in the first sentence of the paragraph with minimum detail. (每段第一句阐明主要观点，尽量少谈细节) Each paragraph should convey one major point and support it with relevant details or explanation. (每段包含的主要观点必须有相关的细节说明或解释) 作文主体完成后的注意事项： Allow time to correct grammar and vocabulary errors. (留出时间检查语法与单词拼写) 考生易犯的错误考生易犯的错误 Problem 1: no subject-verb agreement Incorrect Correct More than one reason are expressed in the reading passage. More than one reason is expressed in the reading passage. One idea is that the size of the brain indicate a persons intelligence. One idea is that the size of the brain indicates a persons intelligence. Problem 2: no pronoun agreement Incorrect Correct The best way to prevent a car accident is to prevent them from happening. The best way to prevent a car accident is to prevent it from happening. Mary is a salesperson which does a good job. Mary is a salesperson who does a good job. Problem 3: duplicate subject Incorrect Correct Martha Graham she made her debut in 1920 with the Denishawn School. Martha Graham made her debut in 1920 with the Denishawn School. Although Christopher Columbus he failed in his original goal, the discovery he did make were more important than the route to Asia he expected to find. Although Christopher Columbus failed in his original goal, the discovery he did make were more important than the route to Asia he expected to find. Problem 4: incorrect verb form Incorrect Correct These new drugs as wonder drugs saving many people who are very sick. These new drugs as wonder drugs save many people who are very sick. Problem 5: incomplete sentence Incorrect Correct As a result, reduction in the number of death. As a result, reduction in the number of death has been achieved. Problem 6: incorrectly joined clause Incorrect Correct Surface irrigation wastes a lot of water, this water cannot be used for other purposes. Surface irrigation wastes a lot of water, and this water cannot be used for other purposes. Practice Check the sentence structure of the following paragraphs. Cross out errors and write corrections above them. There may be more than one way to correct an error. 1. In the past, people use geothermal energy in several ways. For example, hot springs for bathing, treating disease, and heating buildings. Different tribes in North America they call hot springs places of peace, everybody could share the hot water for bathing. In European history, the Romans they also use the water of hot springs for their healing power. For example, eye and skin diseases. Geothermal energy was also heat homes in Rome and other places who are geologically active. Keys: In the past, people used geothermal energy in several ways. For example, hot springs were used for bathing, treating disease, and heating buildings. Tribes in North America called hot springs places of peace, and everybody could share the hot water for bathing. In European history, the Romans used hot spring to cure eye and skin diseases. They even used the water of hot springs as their healing power. Geothermal energy heated homes in Rome and other places where geothermal energy is geologically active. 2. The professor made many points about the motivation and needs of workers they support points made in the reading. First, the professor say the small work group important for workers about 3 to 15 people with one leader. The work group fill needs of workers the reason is they can participate and a sense of respect. The small work group also give workers the ability for make decisions. This point agreed with the reading it said the most satisfying jobs are those with a high level of autonomy this gave workers a voice can make their own decisions. Keys: The professor made many points about the motivation and needs of workers. First, the professor said that the small work group is important for workers about 3 to 15 people with one leader. The work group fills needs of workers that they can fully participate in each task and enjoy a sense of respect. The small work group also gives workers the possibility to make decisions. This point agreed with the reading in the point that the most satisfying jobs are those with a high level of autonomy which gave workers a voice to make their own decisions. 七、拓展观点七、拓展观点 总结听力材料总结听力材料 summarize the lecture: The speaker talks about The lecture discusses/is mainly discussing The professor made the point that 引出要点引出要点 introduce key points: First/second/third First/then/another point is that Or express the key point directly in a topic sentence. 引出例子引出例子 introduce examples or reasons: For example (instance)/one example is/such as/that is 增加例子增加例子 add examples or reasons: Next/Furthermore/another example is/in addition 对比观点对比观点 Shw contrast between ideas: However/In contrast/on the contrary/on the other hand/but 精彩精彩 opening: 1) The lecture discusseswhich differs from the main idea in the reading that 2) The professor made the point that. The reading does not discuss this point. Another important point is that, but the reading does not discuss the point. Finally, the Professor stated that. In general, the Professor discusses problems ofthat the reading does not include. 3) According to the lecture, .On the other hand/while the reading stated that The professor made the point that. On the contrary/however/in contrast, the writer demonstrated an idea that The lecture supports/illustrates the idea that The lecture contradicts/refutes/is in contrary to/is the opposite of the idea that 对材料的指称：对材料的指称： The speaker/lecturer/professor/listening material/lecture The writer/narrator/reading material/writing 八、总体写作模式八、总体写作模式 Paragraph 1 first key point from the lecture Examples from the lecture Explanation or connection to the reading Paragraph 2 second key point from the lecture Examples from the lecture Explanation or connection to the reading Paragraph 3 third key point from the lecture Examples from the lecture Explanation or connection to the reading 示例模板：示例模板： The lecture is mainly discussing _, _ and _ by _, challenging what are stated in the reading passage that _, _ and _. First of all, the speaker thinks that _. In contrast, the reading passage believes that _. So, the lectures totally disagree with the view made in the reading. Second, the speaker discusses _, Contradicting what is stated in the reading that _. Finally, the speakers raises the issue that _. This point disagrees with the point that _ demonstrated in the reading. So, the contents in the reading passage are totally jeopardized by the speaker and the speaker has totally different ideas on the topics made in the reading. 九、范文分析九、范文分析 READING (Time-3 minutes) The discovery of penicillin and other antibiotic drugs is the most dramatic medical development of the twentieth century. These new drugs quickly became known as “wonder drugs” because they saved so many lives that were threatened by major forms of infection. The research that led to their development rested on the belief that chemicals could be found that would destroy specific microorganisms without injuring the human body at the same time. Advances in chemistry and in the knowledge of bacteria quickened the discovery of such chemicals. In 1933, the first of the sulfa drugs, prontosil, was tested clinically on humans and was found to cure blood infections that would otherwise have been fatal. In 1941, the first successful human tests of penicillin were conducted on cases of streptococcus infections. The discovery of penicillin laid the foundation for even more powerful weapons against specific diseases. Within the nest decade, researchers identified some 200 antibiotic substances that were effective against one or another type of bacteria. One of the most important was streptomycin, found to be potent against tuberculosis and other infections that were not affected by penicillin. Antibiotics gave the medical profession powerful tools that could directly fight a very wide range of specific diseases. They made possible the survival of patients during and after surgery. No longer was it necessary to depend largely on the bodys own immune system to fight off major infections; these infections could be attacked directly with drugs. Among the most spectacular effects of antibiotics were reductions in the number of deaths from pneumonia and tuberculosis. Now listen to part of a lecture in a biology class. As soon as we developed antibiotics, new strains of bacteria appeared that were resistant to some or all of the drugs. Hospitals started using antibiotics regularly in the 1950s, but resistance started appearing within a few years. Today, one-third of the patients in hospitals are on antibiotics, but antibiotic resistance is increasing the danger of hospital infectionsto the point where people are almost safer staying home than going to hospital. In the forties, penicillin really was a wonder drug. Back then, you could give a patient with bacterial pneumonia then thousand units of penicillin four times a day and cure the disease. Today, you could give 24 million units of penicillin a day, but the patient might still die. Why? Well, in a way, bacteria are smarter than us. They evolve to counteract any drug we attack them with. A lot of bacteria are now completely resistant to penicillin. Bacteria can evolve very effective weapons against antibiotics. Some of them develop enzymes to match every antibiotic we throw at them. All these weapons and counter-weapons match one anotherjust like the weapons in real military warfare. So, no matter what antibiotic we use, the bacteria will come up with a way to make it useless. How does this happen? Well, if you douse a colony of bacteria with an antibiotic the colony will be killedthat is, all except for a few cells. A few cells will survive because they carry a resistance gene for that particular antibiotic. The surviving cells quickly multiply and they pass along this lucky gene to their offspring. And soon you have a new strain of bacteria thats resistant to that drug. One consequence of antibiotic resistance is the reappearance of tuberculosis as a major illness. Twenty years ago, doctors thought tuberculosis was a defeated disease. Since then, however, new cases of tuberculosis have increased by 20 percent. And several strains of the disease are resistant to any drug we can attack them with. Summarize the main points made in the lecture, explaining how they differ from points made in the reading. Examples of responses to this writing question: Response by student 1 The lecture discusses the resistance of bacteria to antibiotics, which differs from the main idea in the reading that antibiotics are “wonder drugs”. When antibiotics were developed in the 1940s, they were successful in curing many diseases. However, bacteria quickly became resistant to some drugs. Today, many people in hospital take antibiotics, but there is the serious danger of hospital infections. Penicillin used to cure diseases such as pneumonia, but today people still die because bacteria are resistant to the drug. Bacteria develop resistance to antibiotics because they evolve weapons against the drugs. They can evolve strategies to fight any drug we give them. This situation is similar to the weapons of two armies use in a war. When you treat a disease with an antibiotic, it will kill the bacteri