Conscious-Communication-By-Yogi-Bahjan.doc

What is Conscious Communication?

What is Conscious Communication for a Yogi?
- Yogi Bhajan, Excerpts from KRI Level 2 Conscious Communication Manual 
Do you know what real communication is? Real communication is when after uttering, saying, or communicating, you stand fully one hundred percent by whatever you said. Real communication does not give you any right to change it afterwards, no matter what. Anything which is not real is a lie. It is not whether it is right or wrong, good or bad, or moral or ethical. Person A talks to person B and between A and B, the talk is real. Then A and B are bound down to put their totality in it until infinity.
You should not say anything that you cannot put your totality behind. The total value of you is that whatever you say, you stick with it. When you don't stick with what you say, you have no value, and your decoration and your jewelry and your sex and your person have no value. Real communication is the faculty of a human that whatever you say, you stick with it.
Why Talk?
Communication is very misunderstood by all human beings. When you are angry, when you are emotional, when you are hurt, when you are insecure, and when you are in your ego trip, you feel like you have to talk, and that is where you mess up. Remember, when you talk, it is for the future. lt is not for the past and it is never for the present. Communication is the art to build heavens in the future and people who do not have it do not have any future, no matter what religion or country or nation they belong to.
Communication is not for emotions and feelings. Not for the weather, either. Communication is an art through which you can clean the garbage in your life. Mostly you talk to get rid of anger, get rid of frustration, and get rid of inferiority/superiority complex. These three things make you talk. Mostly people talk because of the inferiority-superiority complex. Minus these things you don't like to talk at all. You talk to get a feeling, because of curiosity, and to lay the ego number.
What you feel may or may not be reality, but you think that whatever you feel is reality; everything else is nonsense. What you feel is the outcome of circumstances, environments, your background, your pressures, your neurosis, your projection, your elementary thoughts, your projective thoughts, your imagination, your dreams, your compiled personality and your projected personality. All these things create for you an idea that you feel. The problem is that what you feel, I don't feel. So there is a confrontation, a conflict.
You must communicate with your own soul. You must communicate with your own mind. And you must communicate with your own self. Your soul, your mind, and your self make you an identity, a psyche. You take a very long time to communicate what you really feel and what you are really saying. So what you do is create two domains—what you are saying and what you are feeling. There is a tremendous amount of stress which you cause by not communicating with yourself. Therefore, try to establish a relationship between you and your self.
When you speak unconsciously, you represent your emotions, your feelings, your neuroses, your handicaps, your shortcomings, and your insecurities. When you speak subconsciously, you are a con-person, you are a thief, you are a cheat, you manipulate, you are dishonest. All you want is to win the moment or impress the moment. Such people are never true to a bigger picture; they are never real in their lives. When you speak consciously, that which you speak about happens. When you speak super-consciously from the supreme self of you, that becomes the guiding line for the Universe. Then the akashic record has to move with that angle.
No Negativity
Generally when you talk to one another you get upset, you get mad, you get sick mentally and abandon your own real identity. You say things to hurt others. Remember, one wrong word said lives forever, on the Earth and in the heavens. There's no way you can get out of it. So speaking is not just for expression; speaking is not just a communication. It is a tool, it is a weapon which cuts the lip forever.
The art of communication is simple and it must flow from you. Neither react nor act negatively in communication. It is very dangerous. There's no solution to it. It will take away all your merits. It will leave you hollow, shallow, in pain. That is the power of the negative bani. Therefore, under no circumstances are you required to speak negative language, and you must not communicate in a way which will be offensive. Neither should you speak in a way which should be just buttering. Speaking should be neither overdoing nor under-doing nor super-positive nor super-negative. Speaking should be straight because between two lines, the direct route is the shortest.
Talking, communicating, speaking, writing is all good. But when adversity hits, communication will break. Never break the communication, neither with an enemy nor with a friend. Keep communicating. That's what God does. Communication is just vibration. Keep vibrating. But be positive. Never listen to negativity.
A conscious person talks with absolute dignity and absolute faith. Never ever, never ever say things against any human form even unconsciously, because that is a slander of the divine, against what God manufactured.
Establish Mutuality
In every walk of life, in every aspect of life, harmonious communication can bring success out of failure. It can give you authority, it can expand your personality, it makes people trust you, it can give you the power to touch the very depth of another person. It can also make you feel comfortable with the world we live in.
Harmonious communication has nothing to do with what you feel, what you know, and what you want. In order to achieve harmonious and conscious communication, first you have to understand the other person. Then whatever knowledge you have about the other person and whatever knowledge you want to communicate with the other person has to be presented in a very loving manner and not with any intent or means to figure out any offensiveness.
Whenever you communicate to control or talk or introduce your motive or your legislation, or you want to be what you want to be, you are wasting your communication energy. People want to talk, but they don't want to talk about that which is not of mutual interest to both parties. They don't want to talk about that which does not bring mutual trust, or is not of mutual benefit.
People who are aware of how to communicate are either saints or they are those who have good in their hearts for others because they talk with compassion. Otherwise you talk only with a passion. If you talk with a passion, you are trying to make a point. You don’t care hell or heaven what the other person’s point may be. Normally when you talk, you want to talk to win. It is called “talk to conquer.” Most people do not talk to establish a relationship. If you talk to establish a relationship, then you have to always have the concentration of how the other man or woman feels, what they are doing, where they are at.
There are three ways to speak to someone. One is to create dialogue, one is to speak, and one is to talk. Talking is painful, like the conqueror and conquered communicating. Speaking is just understandable. Dialogue is beautiful and is desirable. Very few people can create dialogue, or intercourse, where two people talk in the same frequency, at the same moment, with the same passion, same compassion, same individuality and identity. Harmonious communication happens where there is oneness between the spheres of intelligence and consciousness, where hearts and heads meet.
Communication is a science and an art. Speak and answer if it boils down to that. But normally two people should just communicate by their presence. When presence doesn't work, communication is a last resort to bring peace. Spirituality belongs to those who understand the science of anaadee naad, unknown sound. If a person speaks a language which is effectively positive and has perfected one or two words only, that is enough for effective communication.

Communication must always have a purpose. Before speaking, you must know why you are talking. Think before you speak. You must know what you are communicating for. What do you want? Do you want to make a point? People who are aware of how to communicate have goodness in their hearts for others, because they talk with compassion. If you talk with passion, you are trying to make a point. You don't care what the other person's point is. You talk to win. Do you want to relate yourself to someone? Do you want to create a dialogue? Do you want to bring a mutual trust and mutual benefit? That’s a very different purpose, and it is what makes your communication a conscious communication.
You can fill your basket with your purpose, your manner, and your theme. If your purpose is to create a mutual understanding, then you have to always have the concentration of how the other person feels, what they are doing, where they are at. It starts by accepting one another.
Your theme: Understand the position, present the subject
Your manner: Understand the position of the other side, hear the object
Your purpose: Understand the point of mutuality
Lighter-Than-Air Balloons: Project up and out
If you want to create a dialogue, then you have the manner to establish with each other what you are, what I am, it's okay, and let us go together. And you agree to discharge your whole self, directly and completely. And if you want to communicate your theme, whatever it may be, then you must communicate as you relate you to the other person.
"Your existence is your communication, and your projection is your relationship. Purposeful communication is harmonious and cohesive." Yogi Bhajan
Your power is your projection—your words are as good as gold. What does that mean? It means don't underestimate the value of each and every word you say to another human being. Your words must be the key that moves the lever to open the lock. By opening the lock, you can create a dialogue or intercourse in which you are talking in the same frequency, at the same moment, with the same passion, same compassion, same individuality, and identity. In Yogi Bhajan's words, "Two people have one voice; that is the strength."
The faculty that makes you a leader is when your word is effective enough to go to the heart of another person.
• Talk to their heart. If you talk to their head only, it will be just sounds with little impact. Talk to their heart.
• Talk from your heart. The language of the heart can be felt at the face. Whatever is in your heart will show up on your face. Nobody can control that. You cannot hide what is in your heart. "It is the touch of the hand, a word spoken, and the contact of the eyes that opens the heart of the man." Yogi Bhajan
• Try to communicate in little sentences (no more than eleven words), and give a pause between each sentence. All you have to do is say one line consciously within one hour of talking, but that one line should establish you. You can pinpoint a person by the way he or she speaks one sentence. It should come from your heart and head together and discharge your true self completely. Remember, you have one line.
If you want to have a real communication, say what you have to say in a way that the other person hears you. Remember that when you talk, you talk for the other person.
Business also depends upon our ability to communicate. Business is like a body — every limb, every person is important. The art of being a leader is to be alert to every limb, to be spontaneous and intuitive enough to know the person and understand their circumstances. You must know where you can penetrate to that person or situation.
Six Fundamental Principles of Communication in Business and Life
1. What is business? Negotiation. Your entire power lies in negotiation with flawless manners and realism.
2. What is the hub of life? Mutuality. Communicate until a mutual understanding is reached.
3. What is a person's greatest asset? Manners. Listen, feel the other person, discuss, and dialogue.
4. What is the basic rule for effective decision making? Discuss, and get opinions and feedback from your colleagues.
5. What is our core value? Develop, and work with people. Don't just hire or fire; inspire and develop.
6. What is the base standard in business? Trustworthiness. You are trusted, well known, and respected.
Negativity in communication occurs when you or the other person are not communicating. There is no relay; thus there is no relationship. Project to create a relationship. Yogi Bhajan explained, "If hatred in somebody has eaten up their heat of life, and there is no warmth coming towards you, you can reach out and melt away all the coldness through your humor and boldness. In this way the flower of friendship can blossom and you can enjoy real communication."
People hear very little of what you say. When hearing another person speak, we tell ourselves that the speaker is correct when what he or she says is consistent with our thoughts. To other things he or she says, we say that it is not so because it disagrees with our thoughts. So we are not truly listening but only lending our ear to what agrees with us and strengthens our opinion. The part that we don't care about, we ignore and forget.
Guru Nanak, the first Sikh Guru said, "Be silent and listen. Listening is a passive state, since you have nothing to do in order to listen. It is not an action." This is a very different mode. Think about it. Anyone who facilitates meetings surely observes how difficult it is for people in the meeting to not act and to listen.
Reach out to everyone diplomatically and with loving communication. It does not matter what you say. It does matter how you say it. You can say something very painful, but if you say it in an impactful way and identify yourself, it will be very well respected. The same words can cause a lot of insult and pain if your frequency and the voltage behind the sound current are not correct. So project from a point of compassion. Likewise, equal tolerance is essential to communication. It takes more courage to tolerate than to attack. Tolerance is, in Yogi Bhajan's words, "If someone slaps you with words, say thank you, it is a gift, and don't react. The person will be ashamed they said what they did. People are judged by their manners and prosper by their mercy.
Have a guiding line you can say to yourself that is so familiar to you that it comes up automatically under any duress or potential slip into less than conscious communication. For example, Yogi Bhajan uses a line from Japji, a morning prayer: Kaytiaa dookh bookh sad maar, Eh bhay daat tayree daataar. "If you give to me pain a hundred times, even this is your gift, oh Great Giver."
As you prepare to proje