WordChoice.doc

Unit 5 Word Choice
Objectives: 1) to know the levels of diction;
2) to know how to choose the right words in English writing.
Word choice is very important for the development of a mature prose style. Indeed, to communicate effectively, you need to understand the different levels of diction: formal and informal, abstract and concrete, and general and specific. You need to be able to appreciate the connotative as well as the denotative meanings of words, to prune the prose of wordiness and redundancy, and to watch out for slang, jargon, and cliché.
1. Levels of Diction

1.1 Formal and Informal
In terms of formality, English words can be categorized as formal and informal. Formal diction is used in the standard discourse suitable for academic or business writing. Rather formal diction is used in the following “thank-you” letter to the CEO of a company after a job interview:

Thank you very much for giving me an opportunity to discuss my application and credentials with you. I enjoyed meeting you and other senior executive officers and I trust that my experience in market analysis will prove useful in helping your company expand your market share among the competitors. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Informal diction is more conversational and reflects a more casual relationship between writer and audience, as shown in the following “thank-you” note to someone the writer knows:

Thanks much for writing that big reference letter for me. It means so much to me. I believe my work in market analysis will be quite useful for ATM South. I hope they will consider my application seriously and offer the position to me.

If the same job applicant writes to a personal friend about the same topic, the diction used could be even more informal, or colloquial:

I’ve got all the right stuff for them at ATM South, Bob, and I wouldn’t be surprised if I get another call form them soon. They must be nuts if they pass me up. Oh, I need this job badly. Wish me luck!

In fact, colloquial expressions are quite popular on college campuses in the United States. For example, you may often overhear conversations between a professor and a student somewhat like the one in the following:
Student: Hi, prof, do you have a sec?
Professor: Hey, Jimmy, what’s up?
Student: Well, I was wondering if I’d flunk bio this sem.
Professor: What made you worried?
Student: I’m having a rough time, you know, with everything going on, and all the courses I’m taking, like psych, lit, stats, phys, ed, and all that stuff.
In this conversation, prof stand for professor, sec for second, bio for biology, sem for semester, psych for psychology, lit for literature, stats for statistics, and phys. ed for physical education.
Even more informal than colloquialism is slang, a vocabulary of playful but often short-lived “substandard” words and phrases which sometimes carry with them intense vividness and deliberate irreverence (see fuller discussion on the topic in the following).

Abbreviations are usually considered as less formal than full forms. Thus sec. is informal, while section is formal; vol. informal and volume formal. Informal style may rely partly on abbreviations, others being contractions and short sentences.
The formality or informality of diction or language is not absolute, but relative. Much writing you do everyday is neither exclusively formal nor completely informal. However, you should be aware of and be sensitive to the different levels of formality, choose words that are appropriate to your rhetorical context (subject, audience, and purpose), and try to maintain a consistent level of formality. Check your academic writing for any excessively informal words or phrases. Similarly, check for excessive formality in your informal writing. Strive to keep the level of formality appropriate to the context and consistent in each piece of writing. To use overly formal expressions on a very informal occasion would be no different from wearing suit and tie and shiny leather shoes at a get-together of old friends. Conversely, to use extremely informal or slang expressions on a very formal occasion would be like wearing T-shirts, baggy jeans, and dirty sneakers at a rather fancy weeding party in a five-star hotel. An essay written with a mixture of formal, informal, colloquial, and slang expressions would taste like a drink mixed with expensive French wine and cheap locally brewed beer.
The following example may give you a feel of what it would taste like if you mix different levels of diction together:
Mr. John Smith proclaims that he is concerned with ecology and the preservation of natural beauty. But he doesn’t give a flip about littering public places. Johnny purchases clothes from the most extravagant store in town yet he is a happy brown bagger when it comes to lunch. I am clueless about this dude; he is full of contradictions.
In this short paragraph, the mixture of formal and informal expressions (Mr. John Smith/Johnny/this dude; is concerned with/doesn’t give a flip) gives it a neither-fish-nor-fowl flavor.
Trying to maintain a consistent level of formality may prove particularly challenging for non-native speakers. If you are not sure of the usage of a word or expression, be sure to look it up in an EnglishEnglish dictionary.
More examples:
1. 1）My beloved parent has just perished from the earth to his heavenly reward.
(吾之先考猝然逾越红尘往受上苍之嘉奖。)
1a) My dear father has just expired. (先父适才气绝。)
1b) My dear father has just passed away. (我亲爱的父亲刚刚离去。)
1c) My dad has just died. (我爸爸刚死。)
1d) My old man has just kicked the bucket.(我那老子刚才蹬腿了。)
2．2）As regards the man I deem him an incredible one. (论及此人，鄙人以为难以信赖。)
2a) In my opinion he is not of the individual who we desire. (以我之见，他并非我们期望之人。)
2b) I believe that he is not the man we want. （我认为他不是我们所要的人。)
2c) I don’t think he’s the man we’re looking for. (我看他不是我们要找的人。)
2d) ’fraid he’s not our man. (恐怕他不是我们要的那号人。)
以上五句句意相差无几，但它们文体的正式程度不同，自上而下由正式到非正式依次递降。

Task 1
1. Distinguish between the informal and the formal words in the following pairs:
boss, superior; brainy, intelligent; friend, pal; fail, flunk; relatives, folks; position, job; kid, child; knock off, stop working; mean, ill-natured; meagre, skimpy; sloppy, untidy; nap, snooze; bike, bicycle; laboratory, lab; exam, examination; man, guy.
2. Classify the following as formal, informal, slang, etc.
1) cash, currency, dough, legal tender, lucre, money, sugar; 2) all in, exhausted, fagged out, fatigued, tired, weary; 3) apparel, clothes, garments, rags, raiment, clothing; 4) cinema, films, flickers, motion pictures, movies, photoplays, pictures; 5) job, place, position, post, situation, station.
3. The following is a student’s essay in which the author uses a mixed style. Revise the essay, making it consistent in style.
Practice Makes Perfect

A famous saying goes that “practice makes perfect”. It means that when people are learning to do something new, they will be good at it only after having lots of practice over and over again.
I have had such experiences for many times. In learning English it’s especially true. To learn English well, we must read more, speak more, listen more and write more. At the beginning, I couldn’t speak English fluently, so I took every chance to practice, such as going to the English corner, talking to foreigners, reading English aloud in the morning, and even speaking to myself from time to time. I kept the practice for a long time and to my delight, my spoken English was much better than before. It’s also the same in English listening and writing.
Another example, when people first learn to type, they are not familiar with the keyboard and can’t type very fast. As long as they keep on practicing, they are sure to learn the skill and type fast enough.
I like the saying – practice makes perfect, which encourages me to practice more till I reach perfectness.

1.2 General/Abstract and Specific/Concrete
General words identify broad categories (people, place, and fruit) while specific words identify individual members of broad categories (John, Shanghai, and apple). Abstract words identify ideas and ideals that cannot be perceived by the senses (love, patriotism, and honesty) while concrete words identify things tangible to the senses (rose, battle wound, and returned money). Successful writers employ a broad spectrum of words, using abstract and general terms to represent ideas, explain attitudes, and explore relationships such as contingency (if something will happen), causality (why it occurs), and priority (what is first in time or importance); using concrete and specific words to clarify and illustrate general ideas and abstract concepts.

General/Abstract: Technology has impacted every aspect of life in Chinese society today.
Specific/Concrete: Millions of residents in both the country and the city have had telephone services installed in their homes.
Note that the language used in the second sentence gives specific/concrete information to illustrate the first sentence. The following sentence gives even more specific/concrete information to illustrate both the first and second sentences:
Specific/Concrete: Now a farmer in a small village in Anhui Province can simply pick up the phone to order the seeds or fertilizers from the comfort of his home instead of having to get on crowded buses and travelling for hours if not days.
Concrete images and specific details can help make your writing clearer and more vivid. Consider the following sentence: "Mary walked into the restaurant." The diction in this sentence may at first seem specific, but it is not. Aren't there different ways to "walk"? And what restaurant did Mary enter? Because the sentences below use more specific diction, they answer both of these questions.

Mary staggered(蹒跚) into Denny's.
Mary paraded(炫耀) into Red Lobster.
Mary shuffled (慢吞吞地走) into McDonald's.
Mary sashayed(滑步走) into Oogies.
Mary strutted(大摇大摆地走) into The Red Door.
Mary limped(跛行) into Burger King
Mary waddled(蹒跚) into Oink's Gourmet Bar-B-Que.
Mary sauntered（漫步，闲逛） into Subway.
Mary crept（匍匐爬行）into Monari's 101.
Mary marched（长驱直入） into Kentucky Fried Chicken.
Mary tiptoed（用脚尖走） into Pizza Hut.
Mary strolled（散步，闲逛） into Hardee's.
Mary slinked（溜走） into Uptown Bar & Grill.
Mary swaggered（大摇大摆，趾高气扬地走） into Verucchi's Ristorante.
Mary trudged（步履艰难地走） into Wendy's.
Mary pranced（昂首阔步地走） into Taco Bell.
More examples:
General: John is a good student.
Specific: In college, John has been rewarded a scholarship over five years.
General: Your relative is nice to me.
Specific: Your aunt Betty always stops and talks to me when she meets me in the street.
General: He has a big house.
Specific: He has a two-storeyed house with four bedrooms, two living-rooms, a dining-room and a kitchen.
General: We had fun at the beach.
Specific: Last Sunday night we barbecued hamburgers at Sagamore Beach, played volleyball, and then sat around singing and telling ghost stories.
General: It was such a nice thing to do. It made me feel grand.
Specific: It was such a generous remark that it brought tears to my eyes.

Task 2
1. List enough specific, concrete details to make each of the following abstractions meaningful and tangible.
1) virtue 2) unselfish 3) beautiful 4) happiness 5) brotherly love
6) evil 7) sexy 8) reality 9) difficult 10) important
2. Decide which word in each group is more general.
1) book, publication, Huckleberry Finn, novel
2) clothing, men’s wear, jeans, trousers
3) food, apple, fruit, Winesap
4) tools, equipment, wrenches, crescent wrenches
5) music, art, Beethoven’s Fifth, piano concerto

3. Rewrite the following sentences, making general words more specific.
1) I did a lot of things during my vacation.
2) Several aspects of the room made it unattractive.
3) It’s an interesting book.
4) The injury that our best player had suffered was serious enough to keep him out of the game.
5) After eating, we had some really good entertainment.
6) One member of the group was irresponsible about some of her duties.
7) During the last part of the trip, we encountered several difficulties.
8) Many items around the place needed to be repaired before the people could move in.

4. Revise the following paragraph form a job application letter by substituting specific, concrete language for general or abstract words and phrases.
I have had several part-time jobs lately. Some of them would qualify me for the position you advertised. In my most recent job, I sold products in a store. My supervisor said I was a good worker who had a number of valuable qualities. I am used to dealing with different types of people in different settings. I feel that my qualifications would make me a good candidate for your job opening.

1.3 Denotation and Connotation

Denotation is a word’s literary or dictionary meaning while connotation is a word’s associative meanings along with its literal meaning. Denotations tend to be neutral and objective and connotations are usually subjective, personal, and frequently involving feelings and suggesting concrete images.
As a writer, it is important to know the connotations of the words you use. Although you cannot know how different readers may react to particular words, you do need to know the positive and negative connotations certain words convey. For example, although mother means “female parent” and father means “male parent”, both words have emotional implications that go beyond the objective definitions. Those emotional implications have a lot to do with the feelings, attitudes, and experiences our own mothers and fathers conjure up in our minds and hearts. In Chinese culture at least, we tend to associate tender kind-heartedness with mothers (hence the expression ci mu) and strict discipline and moral upbringing with fathers (hence the expression yan fu) even though many fathers are known to be tender kind-hearted A(hence the expression ci fu). Across all cultures, the mother and the father have a set of generally shared public connotations, the former suggesting nurturing and devotion to children while the latter suggesting strength, courage, and leadership. In English, there are a spectrum of other words which also express the same objective definitions but suggest different levels of relationship and attitude: ma, mam, mama, mammy, mom, old lady, and old woman; dad, dada, daddy, pa, papa, pappy, pop, and old man.
Some English words seem to have almost exact equivalents in Chinese as far as denotations are concerned, but they have quite different connotations. Take propaganda, for example. Propaganda (xuan chuan in Ch