大学英语写作6-Effective-sentences.pptx

单击此处编辑母版标题样式,单击此处编辑母版文本样式,第二级,第三级,第四级,第五级,*,单击此处编辑母版标题样式,单击此处编辑母版文本样式,第二级,第三级,第四级,第五级,*,The Sentence,Effective Sentences,According to the,usages of the sentences:,1)Declarative sentences,2)Interrogative sentences,3)Imperative sentences,4)Exclamatory sentences,According to the,structures of the sentences:,1)simple sentences,2)Compound sentences,3)Complex sentences,Types of sentences,According to Rhetoric,retrik,（修辞学）,Loose,Periodic and Balanced,sentences,Loose Sentences,涣散句或散体句,A loose sentence,puts the main idea before all supplementary information,;,In other words,it,puts first things first,And lets the reader know what it is mainly about,when he has read the first few words,.,Ex:,I am willing to pay slightly higher taxes for the privilege of living in Canada,considering the free health care,the cheap tuition fees,the low crime rate,the comprehensive social programs,and the wonderful winters.,The main point of this sentence,is that the writer prefers to live in Canada,and the writer makes the point at the very beginning:,everything which follows is simply extra information,.,Loose sentences,Loose sentence,is the one which,the main idea is placed first,No suspense,is attempted,.It goes straight to the point so that the reader gets it before he comes to the end of the sentence.,Loose sentences are,easier,simpler,more,natural and direct,.,Periodic Sentences,掉尾句,/,圆周句,/,整体句,A periodic sentence:,The,main idea,is expressed at or near the,end,of it,And,it is not grammatically complete,until the end,is reached.,The reader does not know what it is mainly about,until,he,finishes reading,it.It is more complex,emphatic,formal and literary.,Periodic Sentences,It is important to remember that periodic sentences:,Used,once or twice,in,a piece of writing,they can be very,effective,;,Used,any more than that,they can make you sound,dull and pompous,（浮夸）,.,Examples,a.,She decided to study English,though she was interested in music.,b.,Although she was interested in music,she finally decided to study English.,The main idea of both sentences is the fact that,she decided to study English,.,This idea is put at the beginning of the first sentence and at the end of the second,thus making one a loose sentence and the other a periodic one.,Examples,a.,She decided to study English,though she was interested in music.,b.,Although she was interested in music,she finally decided to study English.,Besides,the first part of the,first sentence,is,complete in structure,;,But that of the,second,is,only an adverbial clause,and cannot be called a sentence without the second part.,Periodic Sentence,It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.,有一条举世公认,旳,真理,:,那就是凡有钱旳单身汉总想娶位太太,.,He was offered a professional contract after winning the Olympic gold medal for figure skating,according to newspaper reports.,Loose Sentence,According to newspaper reports,after winning the Olympic gold medal for figure skating,he was offered a professional contract.,Periodic sentence,There have been many great discoveries made by scientists in the twentieth century.,Loose sentence,Scientists in the twentieth century have made many great discoveries.,Periodic sentence,I enjoyed the opera because the music is beautiful,because the performers are excellent.,Loose sentence,Because the music is beautiful and the performers are excellent,I enjoyed the opera.,Periodic sentence,Balanced sentences,(,平行句,对偶句）,When a sentence contains,two,parts of,the same structure,and roughly,the same length,and with,contrasted(or similar)ideas,.,It is a balanced sentence.,e.g.,1 He,likes,pop music;his girlfriend,hate,s it.,2 The old man is,not lack,of money but,lack of,happiness.,3 On hearing the news,he was,excited,and I was,worried.,Generally,well-written compositions are not entirely made up of loose or periodic or balanced sentences.,They should be a mixture of the three for the sake of variety.,Effective Sentences,C,orrectness,alone can not make a good sentence.It has to be,effective,at the same time.Effective sentences have some of the following qualities:,unity,（一致性）,coherence,（连贯性）,Conciseness,（简洁性）,Emphasis,（强调性）,Variety,（多样性）,Unity,（统一性）,A unified sentence means everything in the sentence should contribute to making one clear idea.,Unity refers to,two,qualities:,there is,only one main idea,in a sentence,and,that idea is complete,.,The explorer who has just returned from the Antarctic is busy writing reports on his adventures on that ice-covered continent,where he did not see any animals except penguins.,Unity,This is a long sentence with many parts,including two clauses.It has one central idea(the explorer is writing reports on his adventures in the Antarctic)and all the other ideas are related to this central idea,.,Look at the example:,.,Bring into a sentence,only related thoughts,and put unrelated thoughts in another sentence or sentences.,E.g.,Born in Sichuan Province,he later became a famous writer.,This is a correct but not a good sentence,because the,two parts mentioned in it are not logically connected,:a man born in Sichuan is not certain to become a famous writer.We can say this sentence lacks unity.To make the meaning clear,we have to say something about his education and work experience,that help to make him a famous writer.,Dream of the Red Mansions is the best-known novel.,Unity,What about this?,（,1,）,Dream of the Red Mansions is one of the best-known,classical Chinese novels.,（,2,）,Of all the Chinese novels,written before the 20th century,Dream of the Red Mansions is perhaps the most popular.,This seems to be a correct sentence,but its meaning is not complete.“the best-known novel”should have been modified.,The two sentences that follow are clearer:,Compare:,1.1)Born in a small town in South China in the,early 50s,he grew up to be a famous,musician.(,faulty,),2)He was born in a small town in South China,in the early 50s.In his childhood he liked to,sing songs.Later he entered a conservatory,In the 70s he became a famous musician.(,revised,),2.1)Du Fu was one of the greatest poets.(,faulty,),2)Du Fu was one of the greatest poets of the,Tang Dynasty.(,revised,),Unrelated:,I was nervous,and I combed my hair a dozen times and I looked in the mirror over and over again to make sure my false eyelashes hadnt come unglued.,Related:,I was nervous before my first date.I combed my hair a dozen times and I looked in the mirror over and over again to make sure my false eyelashes hadnt come unglued.,Unrelated:,Last Friday Tom sprained his ankle,and he could not find his favorite T-shirt anywhere.,Related:,It was an awful day last Friday.Tom not only sprained his ankle,but also he could not find his favorite T-shirt anywhere.,Coherence(,连贯性）,Coherence means,clear and correct arrangement,of the parts of a sentence.,A sentence is coherent when the words are properly connected and their relationship is clear.,A coherence sentence is easy to understand,because the connection between its words,conforms to grammar rules and usage.,a.Do not,separate words that are closely related,unless it is necessary;,b.Do not use,a pronoun with ambiguous reference,;,c.Do not use,a,dangling modifier,or,put a modifier far from the word it modifiers;,Coherence,Here are a few rules which may help to prevent incoherence:,d.Do not make unnecessary or confusing,shifts in person or number;,e.Do not make unnecessary,changes in the voice,tense or mood of verbs,;,f.Do not,use different forms to express parallel ideas,.,1.Everyone is studying English in this school.,（,1,）,This sentence may imply that the school mentioned is the only place where people can study English.,（,2,）,Perhaps the speaker means that everyone in this school is studying English.,The phrase“in this school”should have been placed immediately after the subject.Its position determines its function.,2.Mrs.Green said to her sister that,she had done the right thing.,Revised:,1),Mrs.Green said to her sister,“,you have done the right thing.”,2),Mrs.Green said to her sister,“,I have done the right thing,.”,3),Mrs.Green thought that,her sister had done the right thing,and said so to her.,4),Mrs.Green said to her sister that,herself had done the right thing.,3.,Looking out of the window,only dull grey buildings can be seen.,Revised:,Looking out of the window,I can only see the dull grey buildings.,After studying Lesson Ten,the mid-term test was given to us.,Revised:,After studying Lesson Ten,we had the mid-term test.,If a modifier is placed in an awkward positionfar away from what it modifies,it is called,a misplaced modifier.,Coherence,What is a misplaced modifier,?,A modifier must be,placed as close to the word it modifies as possible,so that there is no misunderstanding about what it modifies.,1).,That cat belongs to my neighbor with five kittens.,(,Obviously,with five kittens modifies cat,not my neighbor.it should be placed between cat and belong.,Misplaced Modifier,s,2).The boy threw rock at the horse in the raincoat.,(In the raincoat describes the boy,not the horse.),3).,The funny cartoon attracts the readers eye on the cover of the magazine.,The funny cartoon on the cover of the magazine attracts the readers eye.,4).,The doctor promised on her way to her hospital to come and see me.,The doctor promised to come and see me on her way to her hospital.,4.Do not make confusing shifts in person and number.,1)Those who want to join in the chorus should sign your name on this sheet of paper.,Those who want to join in the chorus should sign,their,name on this sheet of paper.,2)He looks up difficult words in his dictionaries,and it is very helpful.,He looks up difficult words in his dictionaries,and,they are,very helpful.,5.Do not make unnecessary change in tense,voice and mood.,1)The explosion destroyed the building and a number of people were injured.,The explosion destroyed the building and injured a number of people.,In the explosion the building was destroyed and a number of people injured.,2)A lot of higher houses were built around hers in the past few years and she gets no more sunlight.,A lot of higher buildings,have been built,around hers in recent years and,as a result,she,gets,no more sunlight.,A lot of higher building,were built,around hers,and,as a result she,got,no more sunlight.,Parallelism,p,rlelzm,(,对称构造）,Parallel ideas had better be expressed in parallel construction.,Faulty:,A man is judged not only by what he said but also by his deeds.,Revised:,A man is judged not only by what he said but also by what he did.,Faulty:,We thought she was charming,intelligent,and a very capable young woman.,Revised:,We thought she was a charming,intelligent,and capable young woman.,Faulty:,This composition is quite good as far as the use of language is concerned,but its content is poor.,Revised:,This composition,is good in,language but,poor in,content.,The language of this composition,is quite good,but its content,is rather poor.,1)She told my sister that she was wrong.,2)He was knocked down by a bike,but it was not serious.,3)I read an interesting story in a magazine about sportsmen.,Revise the following sentences to make them coherent,.,2)He was knocked down by a bike,but was not seriously hurt.,3)I read in a magazine,an interesting story about sportsmen./,In a magazine I read an interesting story about sportsmen,1)She said to my sister,“You are wrong.”,She said to my sister,“I am wrong.”,She told my sister that she herself was wrong.,She thought my sister was wrong and said so to her.,3.Conciseness,Conciseness:,A sentence should not contain unnecessary words.If the idea is fully expressed,the fewer words,the better.,a.,Use a,pronoun,instead of repeating a noun;,b.,Use,a word instead of a phrase,with the same meaning,and,use a phrase instead of a clause,with the same meaning;,Conciseness,Ways to achieve conciseness,c.,Do not repeat words or phrases,if possible,in a sentence or in one that follows;,d.,Do not use different words or phrases with similar meanings,in the same sentence;,e.,Do not repeat the same idea,in different sentences except for emphasis.,The following sentence is wordy and can be simplified:,In the month of May people of different professions from all circles in this city will hold meetings to elect representatives,and these representatives will go to Beijing,the capital,in October to attend a national congress of model workers from the whole country,.,A simpler version would be:,In May people of different professions in this city will elect representatives,who will attend a national congress of model workers in Beijing in October.,Conciseness,Here is another example:,There are trees on all sides of the house,and the trees hide the house.People can hardly see the house from the outside.,A simpler version would be:,Surrounded by trees,the house can hardly be seen from the outside;or The house,hidden behind trees,can hardly be seen from the outside.,Conciseness,Compare:,My father is 65 years old,and he is a professor in Hunan University.He has a healthy body of his age.,My father,a professor of 65 years old in Hunan University,enjoys the best of health.,（用同位语改写）,Wordy:,I saw a girl who is very beautiful.,In my opinion,I believe your plan is feasible.,The machine was jointly designed by the old engineer and with the help of some of his younger colleagues.,It was blue in color.,It was small in size.,Mary is a quiet and careful woman.,The chairman of the board will give up his job next year because of old age.,Revise the following sentence to make them more concise:,1)My father has returned back from Beijing.,2)Mr.Smith likes to drink all kinds of wine that,are produced in France.,3)The language lab is open to students not,only from English Department but also from,other department of the university.,1)My father has returned from Beijing./,My father has come back from Beijing.,2)Mr.Smith prefers wines produced in France./,Mr.Smith prefers French wines.,3)The language lab is open to all the students in the university.,Emphasis,If you need to show one idea is more important than the other,the expression of them should change in emphasis.,1.Placing,Gain emphasis by placing important words,at the beginning,of the sentence or,at the end of,the sentence.,Weak:,1)There was a policeman who told my new baby sitter the way home.,Emphatic:.,The policeman told my new baby sitter the way home,weak:,2)Only Qian Wen could have written such a nice essay,though there are fifty students in the class.,Emphasis:,Of the fifty students in the class,no one could have written such a nice essay but Qian Wen.,2.Climactic Sequence,(,升序法，渐进法）,In enumerating things or ideas,we should,start from the least important and end with the most important,or in the climactic sequence.,E.g.,1.A biologist once said the ant is a symbol of,wisdom,industry,and efficiency.,Revised:,A biologist once said the ant is a symbol of industry,efficiency and wisdom.,2.,This tourist group,visited the Great Wall,the Summer Palace,the Pa