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单击此处编辑母版标题样式,单击此处编辑母版文本样式,第二级,第三级,第四级,第五级,*,Six strategies of making and revising sentences,1.Use parallelism,2.Use a consistent point of view,3.Use specific words,4.Use active verbs,5.Use concise diction,6.Vary your sentences,7.Confirm punctuations,8.Edit sentences carefully,1.Use parallelism,Words in a pair or a series should have parallel structure.By balancing the items in a pair or a series so that they have the same kind of structure,you will make the sentence clearer and easier to read.Notice how the parallel sentences that follow read more smoothly than the nonparallel ones.,(1)My job includes checking the inventory,initialing the orders,and to call the supplies.,(2)The game-show contestant was told to be cheerful,charming,and with enthusiasm.,(3)Grandma likes to read mystery novels,to do needle point,and browsing the Internet on her home computer.,(4)We painted the trim in the living room;the wallpaper was put up by a professional.,Exe:,-The novelty store sells hand buzzers,plastic fangs,and insects that are fake.,-Many people share the same three intense fears:being in high places,working with numbers,and speeches.,-“My boyfriend is so dumb,”said Mary,“that he went to Las Vegas,he tries to play the soda machines.”,-From his perch high up on th rocky cliff,the eagle spots a white-tailed rabbit and swooped down toward his victim.,-After I finishes the writing work,I went out for a walk with my puppy,Jack.,(2)Consistency with pronouns,When writing a paper,you should not shift your point of view unnecessarily.Be consistent inyour use of first-person,third-person.The following examples are not consistent in personal pronouns.,-One of the benefits of my job is that you canuse a company credit card for gasoline.,-Though we like most of our neighbors,there are a few you can not get along with.,-When I buy lipstick or nail polish,you never know how the color will actually look.,-It is expensive for us to take public transportation to work everyday,but what choice do you have if you cannot affort a car?,-People often take a first-aid course so that we can learn how to help choking and heart attack victims.,-One can never thinks of what we will be like in future.,-When you drive on the highway,I get disgusted at the amount of trash I see.,-I would like to go to school where one can meet many people who are different from me.,3.Use specific words,To be a specific writer,you must use specific words rather than general words.Specific words create picture in the readers mind.They help capture interest and make your meaning clear.Compare the following sentences:,She walked down the street.,Anne wandered slowly along Rogers Lane.,Animals came into the place.,Hungry lions padded silently into the sawdust-covered area.,The flag moved in the wind.,The flag fluttered in the breeze.,That woman jogs five miles a day.,That fragile-looking,gray-haired woman jogs five miles a day.,A noise told the crowd that they had two mintues to leave the place.,A piercing whistle warned the cheering crowd that they had two minutes to leave the supermarket.,When he returned,all that he found in the refrige was bread and milk.,When he returned from his long journey,all that Tom found was stale bread and sour milk.,Try to add the specific detail to the sentences below.,The child started to cry.,The game was exciting.,A passenger on the bus was acting strangely.,The lounge area was busy.,4.Use active verbs,When the subject of a sentence performs the action of the verb,the verb is in the active voice.When the subject of a sentence receives the action of a verb,the verb is in the passive voice.The passive form of a verb consists of the verb to be plus the past participle of the main verb.,For example:,-Many unhealthy foods are included in the typical American diet.,Revised:The typical American diet concludes many unhealthy foods.,-The family picnic was invaded by hundreds of biting ants.,Revised:Hundreds of biting ants invaded the family picnic.,-Final grades will be determined by the instructors on the basis of class performance.,Revised:The instructors will determine the final grades on the basis of class performance.,5.Use concise diction,Wordiness-using more words than necessary to express a meaning-is often a sign of lazy or careless writing.Your readers may resent the extra time and energy they must spend when you have not done the work needed to make your writing direct and concise.Here are two instances:,-In this paper,I am planning to describe the hobby that I enjoy of collecting old comic books.,Revised:I enjoyed collecting old comic books.,-In Bens opinion,he thinks that cable television will change and alter our lives in the future.,Revised:Ben thinks that cable television will change our lives.,-Try to revise the following sentences,.,(1)In conclusion,I would like to end my essay by summarizing each of the major points that were covered within my paper.,(2)Controlling the quality and level of the television shows that children watch is a continuing challenge to parents that they must meet on a daily basis.,(3)In general,I am the sort of person who tends to be shy,especially in large crowds or with strangers I do not know well.,(4)Someone who is analyzing magazine advertising can find hidden messages that,once uncovered,are seen to be clever and persuasive.,(5)My greatest mistake that I made last week was to hurt my brothers feelings and then not to have the nerve to apologize and say how sorry I was.,(6)In todays uncertain economic climate,it is clear that people,namely,average middle-class working people,have great difficulty saving much money or putting anything aside for emergincies.,(7)We thought the television program that was on last night was enjoyable,whereas our parents reacted with dislike to the content of the show.,6.Vary your sentences,One part of effective writing is to vary the kinds of sentences you write.If every sentence follows the same pattern,writing may become monotonous to read.Here we will explain four ways you can create variety and interest inyour writing style.It also describes coordination and subordination-two important techiques for achieving different kinds of emphasis in writing.,1.Add a second complete thought(coordination),2.Add a dependent thought(subordination),3.Begin with a special opening word or phrase.,4.Place adjectives or verbs in a series.,-How to make coordinative sentences or compound sentence with,and,or,but,so,for,nor,yet.,A compound sentence is a sentence that consists of two or more clauses that are joined by the coordinative connetcive words like,and,or,but,so,for,nor,yet.A compound sentence contains two ideas that should be equal in importance.,Such as,Greg worked on the engine for three hours,but,the car still would not start.,Bananas were on sale this week,so,I bought a bunch for the childrens lunches.,We laced up our roller blades,and,then we moved cautiously onto the rink.,Attention:Greg worked on the engine for three hours;,however,the car still would not start.,-How to make subordinative sentences or complex sentence.,A subordinative sentence is a sentence that consists of two or more clauses,and one of them works as main clause or independent clause,the other works as dependent or subordinate clause that are introduced by the subordinative connetcive words,like,when for time,where for place,if for condition,because for causal relation,so(that)for consequential relation.,A complex sentence contains two ideas that should be not equal in importance.,-Begin with a sepcial opening word or phrase.,Among the special openers that can be used to start sentences are ed words,-ing words,-ly-words,to word groups,and prepostional phrase.Here are examples of all five kinds of openers.,_ed-word,Concerned about his sons fever,Paul called doctor.,_ing-word,Humming softly,the woman browsed through the rack of dresses.,_ly-word,Hesitantly,Sue approached the instructors desk.,_to word,To protect her hair,Eva uses the lowest setting on her blow dryer.,_prepositional word,During the exam,drops of water fell from the celling.,(6)-Place adjectives or verbs in a series,I gently applied a,sticky new,Band-Aid to the,deep,ragged,cut on my finger.,Tom spun the basketball on one finger,rolled it along his arms,and dribbled it between his legs.,More exercises:,Combine each of the following groups of simple sentences into two longer sentences.Omit repeated words.Various combinations are often possible,so try to make your combination more smoothly and clearly.,(1)The physician watched.Julie tried to stand onher weakened legs.They crumpled under her.,(2)There were parking spaces on the street.Richards pulled into an expensive garage.He did not want to risk damaging his new car.,(1)The physician watched.Julie tried to stand onher weakened legs.They crumpled under her.,(2)There were parking spaces on the street.Richards pulled into an expensive garage.He did not want to risk damaging his new car.,(3)The truck was speeding.The truck was brown.The truck was skidded on the ice.The truck was almost hit a police man.The police man was startled.The police man was young.,(4)The rainstorm flooded our basement.The rainstorm was sudden.The rainstorm was terrible.The rainstorm knocked slates of the roof.The rainstorm uprooted some young trees.,(5)A sudden cold front hit the erea.Temperatures dropped thirty degrees in less than an hour.My teech began to clatter.I was not wearing a warm jacket.,(6)Jane works as a model.She has to look her best.She gained ten pounds recently.She had to take off the extra weight.She would have lost her job.,(7)The ball game was about to begin.A dog ran onto the field.The dog began nipping at the infielders ankles.The game had to be delayed.The dog was chased away.,(8)The lion was hungry.It watched the herd of gazelle closely.A young or sick animal wandered away from the group.The lion would move in fro the kill.,(8)Lena and Mike wanted a vacation.They wanted a vacation that was nice.They wanted a vacation that was quiet and relaxing.They rented a small lakeside cabin.Their first day there was very peaceful.The situation quickly changed.A large family moved into a nearby cabin.They played music at top volume.They raced around in a speedboat with a loud whining engine.Lena and Mike were no longer very relaxed.They packed up their things.They drove off.They returned to their quiet apartment.,6.Confirm Punctuations,7.Edit sentences carefully,(1)Write complete sentences rather than fragments.,(2)Do not write run-ons,(3)Use verbs forms correctly,(4)Make sure that subject,verbs and pronouns agree.,(5)Eliminate faulty modifiers,(6)Use pronouns forms correctly,(7)Use capital letters where needed,(8)Use punctuation carefully,(9)Use correct manuscript form,(10)Elinimate unnecessary words and phrases to achieve conciseness,(11)Check for possible spelling errors.,
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